Crimson Regret (Chapter 8 + Epilogue)
Title: Crimson Regret (Chapter 8 + Epilogue = End)
Pairing: Kanda/Lavi
Rating: M
Warnings: Yaoi, violence, language, vampire AU
Before Lavi can begin to panic, he remembers that vampires don’t breathe unless they’re talking. Even so, he can’t help but feel like he should do something. He shakes Kanda gently at first, but when nothing happens, he shakes him harder. He calls his name and touches his face, once he finds it by feel. He hears himself start to hyperventilate but he’s too busy feeling for gaping, bloody wounds to care. He finds a couple of wet, sticky spots and one of his arms is broken at the wrist, but there is nothing that explains Kanda’s complete lack of response. Finally, Lavi lays him down on the floor and kneels beside him, working to reign in the terror.
“You can’t help him if you’re freaking out…” he whispers, but his fingers clench into the fabric of his pants.
He hears a soft groan and nearly cries with relief.
“Yuu!? Are you all right?”
“…Lavi?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” He remembers their last moment together and loses the will to reach for him. Kanda probably wishes he was locked up with anyone else. “Sorry…”
“Lavi,” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
Soft rustle of fabric and what sounds like a quiet sob, Kanda is clutching Lavi’s hand with his good wrist and before Lavi can marvel at the strength he still has, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. Frozen, he doesn’t know what to do. Kanda has never hugged him before. Not like this.
“Yuu? Are you all right?” His voice is shaky with fear but he holds onto Kanda just the same.
“Lavi. I’m so sorry.”
“Wha-? No, I’m the one who should be sayin’ I’m sorry!” Lavi grips Kanda’s shoulder, “I know you probably can’t forgive me, but I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry I betrayed your trust. You mean so much to me and I fucked it all up, Yuu.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kanda declares. “I thought they’d killed you. Lavi.”
“Nah, they just roughed me up a bit…I’m okay. But man, am I glad to see you,” he adds with a hint of vulnerability. It seemed too good to be true, earning forgiveness after what he did.
“You reek of blood-don’t tell me you’re okay!” Kanda hisses. “Where are you hurt?”
“I’m really all right. A few hours ago I thought I was gonna die, but I woke up here and I was good as new again.” Lavi takes a breath to calm himself. “They must’ve given me some kinda potion or something. Besides, you’re the one who’s hurt! Your wrist-”
“I’ll be fine,” he grunts as he slips the two halves of bone back into their proper places. Instantaneously, he feels the tissues begin to seal together again. Once it finishes healing, he reaches for Lavi, feeling over his body and searching for injuries, but there were none. Numerous holes perforate his clothing but his skin is whole. “How is this possible?”
“I don’t know, but we should figure it out later. Right now, I really just wanna get the hell outta here, y’know?” Kanda hears him stand and can just make out his arm reaching for the wall. His fingers slide into a small crevice and he utters a triumphant sound. “Can you fight?” he asks and Kanda confirms that he can. “Then follow me. I memorized the way up.”
~`~`~`~`~`~
Allen stops before the heavy black gate and glares at the pair of vampires standing on the other side of it. Lenalee pauses to his left and looks past the gate to the looming castle beyond. It had been easy to find, following a small pack of the clan back to the nest, since Cross was never one for subtlety. Stepping up the ornate bars, he gets the guard’s attention and says, “We’re here to see Cross.”
Black-clad and statuesque, the vampire flicks a glance at Allen and Lenalee and scoffs. “I’m sure.”
Frustrated but not surprised, “He knows me,” Allen insists. “He sent me on my own mission into a nest a few years ago. Where I met a vampire named Kanda.”
Stiffening at the name, the guard hisses. Within seconds, a group of vampires surrounds them, grips tight and claws puncturing. “Take them to Cross,” one of them orders.
Shooting Lenalee a bracing look, Allen allows himself to be dragged into the castle, up the center stairs, and down a grand corridor ending in a large chamber. Inside, Cross stands beside an active fireplace and twirls a golden lock of the young woman kneeling before him. His smile widens when he notices them. It takes everything Allen has not to attack on sight.
“Little brat, how nice to see you again,” Cross snickers. “And you’ve brought me a present! How considerate.” He reaches for her cheek and Lenalee twitches at Cross’ tainted touch. “A fine specimen.”
“I want back in,” Allen blurts. “I want to be your student again.”
Focus shifting back to Allen, Cross approaches with casual steps. “’That so?”
“Yes.”
“You sure this isn’t just some hare-brained rescue attempt? Your master’s locked in my dungeon and you’re compelled to save him?”
“Kanda’s not my master,” Allen spits. “You are.”
Despite himself, Cross’ smile turns pleased. “Ah, my little rabbit finally wants to come home? What makes you think I’d want you? After all, you failed your last task, didn’t you?”
“Give me another chance,” Allen pleads, “I’ll do anything.”
“Is this the part where I tell you to kill Kanda and you miraculously free him instead?” Cross wags a finger at Allen’s dismayed expression. “I’m a lot of things, kid, but stupid isn’t one of them.” Lazily sinking into a plush sofa, he gestures to his shivering companion to join him by the floor as he says, “Toss them into the same hole as the other two. I’ll deal with them after my meal.”
“Yes, master,” the nearest vampire replies.
Down three flights of stairs, the air grows danker the further they are hauled. They come to a final corridor and a rotting iron-framed wooden door is unbarred and yanked open to reveal an expansive stone-lined room drenched in darkness. On their own, it could have taken Allen and Lenalee hours to find it.
One vampire precedes the others, carrying a torch a torch that dimly reveals most of the cavernous space, though the corners are still well shrouded in shadow. Near the center of the room lies a round trapdoor that is swiftly flung open by an impatient jailer.
As he is pulled toward the deep well, Allen peers in and realizes it is empty even as the vampire exclaims, “They’re gone!”
On alert, the vampires are surprised nonetheless by the pair of disheveled escapees leaping in and disrupting their formation. Allen catches a glimpse of maroon hair as he dips to swipe the feet from under his clingy captor. Lenalee exhales a sharp puff of air as she delivers a cracking blow to an enemy sternum with the heel of her shoe, sending him skidding across the floor out of the radius of torchlight.
Growls, hisses, screams, and thuds play as background music while they fight. There are four of them and seven vampires but soon, they are victorious. Kanda comes into Allen’s line of sight even as Lavi envelopes him into a tight, brief hug.
“Lavi! Are you guys okay?” Allen says as he returns the gesture.
“We’re good,” Lavi grins. “Thanks for the assist!”
“You two should have stayed home,” Kanda rebukes, “It’s too dangerous.”
“We couldn’t just sit at home when you two were in trouble!” Lenalee declares.
“That’s exactly what you should have done. We can handle Cross,” he counters.
“Can we escape now and argue about this later?” Lavi interjects.
“This way.” Allen leads them back through the labyrinthine path to the best of his memory, but they still end up shy of the exit. Backtracking, they run into another cluster of the coven and waste precious time fighting them off.
At last, they come upon the main hall and Lavi huffs a premature sigh of relief when he sees the entrance.
“Wait,” Kanda says and they stop.
“Come on, Yuu, the exit’s right there!”
“No, Lavi. I will not run anymore,” he proclaims. “Not from Cross’ underlings and not from Cross. Not from any vampire ever again. I will fight. You three go now while you can.”
“Don’t be stupid, Kanda, you can’t take on a whole coven by yourself,” Allen insists.
“We won’t leave you,” Lenalee adds.
Lavi steps forward, a gentle, determined look on his bloodied face. Laying a hand on Kanda’s shoulder, he says, “I understand your decision. But you’re much dumber than I believed if you think any of us will let you face him alone. If we’re doing this, we’re going to do it together.” He watches Kanda’s face for the telltale hint of the swell of emotion his words cause. It’s there.
“So be it,” Kanda mutters, turning away from them.
With a knowing smile, Lavi nods to his friends and together they climb the steps to the final boss.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Gorged on a fresh blood meal, Cross is splayed out on his favorite sofa and smoking an immensely satisfying cigarette when the doors to his chambers crash open. His serenity shattered, he frowns as he stands to face the quartet of miscreants intruding on his property.
“Fuckin’ worthless goons,” he spits, vowing to dismember the rest of his coven and start anew somewhere a little more rugged. Russia, maybe. “What do you freaks want?”
“What do you think, you puzzlingly putrid pussing pimple?” Lavi creatively queries. “Your heart on a stake, your head on a slab, and your bones in the dirt, motherfucker!”
“Oh? Mouthy little prick, aren’t you, vampire’s slut?” Eyeing their bloody weapons, Cross discards his cigarette and draws his own sword. “Just for that, I’m gonna kill ya, nice ‘n slow.”
“You will never get the chance,” Kanda promises. Gripping Mugen tight, he sidesteps away from his friends, hoping to draw Cross towards the center of the room. But Cross is smarter than that.
Faster than the human brats could see, Cross leaps and strikes at the green-haired female. A smirk crawls across his face in anticipation of an easy kill. It falls right off when Kanda’s little whore jumps in and manages to guard her pale twig-neck. Snarling, his one green eye goes fierce and Cross is forced to block a series of slashes from the boy. Startled but refusing to show it, Cross parries the blows and returns some in exchange. By the time he knocks the redhead back, the two kittens have retreated and Kanda is behind him, aiming his silver fang of a sword at Cross’ spine.
Laughing, Cross dodges attacks from both sides with ease. He relishes their dismay. Fast as a thought, Cross slides sword through air and parts Kanda’s skin with its cold edge. The wound is shallow but long and Kanda claps an arm over the oozing slice as his lover shouts in fear. Taking the opening, Cross lunges at the distracted boy and punches him across the room to smack against a painting on the wall. He hears the impact break the frame as well as a rib or two as he blocks a sloppy, retaliatory slash from his primary adversary.
“You’ll have to do better than that,” he snickers as Kanda loses his balance and falls to one knee. Blood seeps from under his arm and Cross wonders if he might have cut deeper than he thought. It would be a shame if this ended too soon.
“Lavi?” Kanda calls without taking his eyes from Cross. A soft groan is his answer. That’s when Cross realizes that the two brats are missing. Too late, he sees one of them on the other side of the room, aiming a crossbow at his chest. The blazing arrow is already aloft.
“Shit,” he hisses as it embeds itself into his left lung, centimeters from his heart. The pain is immediate and intense but it doesn’t distract him from Kanda’s killing swing for his neck. Ripping the arrow from between his ribs, he flings it with full force at his ex-disciple and takes great pleasure in the wordless pain he shouts when it pins his right shoulder to the wall.
“Allen!” the girl screams and Cross catches her in the act of preparing to throw a broken coat rack, splintered end pointed at his back. He advances on her and rips the makeshift spear from her limp grasp and backhands her. She cries out as her head snaps to the side and she crumples to lie still on the scarlet Persian rug.
Kanda is there and he lands a hit to Cross’ thigh. Cross allows this so that he can use his new weapon. Before Kanda can tug his sword free of his ropey leg muscles, Cross thrusts the spear straight at Kanda’s unguarded gut. His enemy’s eyes widen as he realizes he doesn’t have time to dodge. Suddenly, another body is barring the spear’s path and Cross’ victory grin curdles.
~`~`~`~`~`~
“No!” Kanda bellows as Lavi falls to the ground, polished mahogany three inches thick protruding from his abdomen. In the moment of Cross’ shock, Allen shoots an arrow into his neck, paralyzing him, and Kanda’s sword swipes just under it, severing the monster’s head from the stump of his fat neck. Astonishment freezes on Cross’ face as his head rolls a jagged path across the polished stone and comes to a stop on his red rug. The body falls backwards with a dull thud a moment later, splattering blood in rays from the spout of its collar.
Ignoring the body, Kanda collapses to his knees where Lavi lies and gently works the wood from the flesh of his stomach. “Lavi,” he calls, pulling off his coat to wrap around the wound. “Lavi, wake up.” He hears Allen rousing a disoriented Lenalee and fights off a dangerous wave of sorrow. “Lavi!”
“Kanda,” Allen murmurs. “Kanda, we have to go.”
The urgency of Allen’s tone is the only thing that manages to catch his attention. It is only then that he notices the heat. The castle is on fire, probably started from the torch they left lying in the dungeon. Dry, dusty, and full of ancient furniture, the entire structure is quickly being engulfed in ravenous flames. Spreading from the only corridor leading to this room, the flames reach a bookshelf and roar up the wall, shattering a high stained-glass window.
“Come on,” Lenalee urges as she stoops to help carry Lavi. Kanda follows suit as Allen begins to climb another bookshelf up to the window furthest from the blaze. Gingerly, Kanda carries Lavi up and out the window, landing as softly as possible on the other side.
They hurry across the grounds, Allen and Lenalee fighting off what few vampires remain on the way. The town is less than a mile away but it seems like the longest journey Kanda has ever undertaken. They reach an inn and manage to quickly secure a room, despite their terrifying appearances. Rather than relief, Kanda feels a growing sense of doom as he lays Lavi onto the bed.
Looking him over, “This wound is mortal, yet he lives,” Kanda breathes, mind racing. “In the well, he was covered in blood but he had no injuries.”
Lenalee’s face lights up with realization. “Kanda, could he…could he be turning?”
“How could he?” Allen speaks when Kanda remains silent. “If Cross had turned him, he would have reverted as soon as the bastard died. Otherwise, I would be turning now, since he threw that arrow back at me with so much of his blood on it.”
Both humans ponder this. Then, “Cross didn’t turn him,” Kanda gasps. “I did.”
“What do you mean? Not on purpose…?” Lenalee hesitates.
“No,” he confirms. “The night I first fed from Lavi, he licked a drop of blood from my mouth. I thought it was his but I must have bitten my lip. It was my blood.” Dropping his face into his palms, “What have I done?” he cries.
“You saved his life!” Allen asserts.
“Don’t be a fool! What kind of life is this?” Kanda demands. “A demon’s existence. Fit for a murderer but not for him. What have I done?”
Aching to comfort but not daring to try, Lenalee directed her efforts to bandaging Lavi’s wound instead. It isn’t bleeding anymore but it isn’t healing at vampire speed, either. “He needs blood,” she whispers. At Kanda’s confused look, “You said he had just healed from many injuries when you found him, right? He needs more blood to heal any more.”
“Go. I’ll see to it.”
“You’re hurt, too, Kanda, let me or Allen-”
“You don’t know what a vampire’s first feeding is like,” he barks. “Just go.”
His tone brooks no argument, so the two take their leave for now. When the door snicks shut behind them, Kanda leans over Lavi, brushing the fringe from his pale face. “Lavi.” He gets no response but that doesn’t matter.
He remembers explaining the process of becoming a vampire to Lavi. The victim had to ingest a sire’s blood or be infected from the bloodstream, and the amount of blood transferred would determine the speed of the Change. For one little drop, it would take months. Gradually, the body would become stronger and faster, the senses sharper, and the heart slower. Sensitivity to sunlight and nocturnal tendencies would be of the last to develop. Finally, the heart would stop and the Hunger would begin.
Kanda can hear Lavi’s heart still beating, pulsing only a few times a minute but there nonetheless. He would be the one to stop his heart for good. And save his life. He would strip Lavi’s humanity from him and replace it with feral voracity.
For a moment, he considers letting Lavi die. Who was to say that he wouldn’t want that anyway? Then he decides that he will force the Change and, if Lavi asks him to kill himself and free him from the Curse, Kanda will, without hesitation.
Bearing his fangs, Kanda bites into his own wrist and slots it over Lavi’s parted lips. It drips steadily and Kanda makes a fist to keep it flowing. At first, there is no reaction but the slow trickle of Lavi’s sluggish breathing. Quick as a flash of lightning, Lavi’s eye flares open and his teeth bite down onto Kanda’s arm.
He feels a rush of sensation coursing up and gasps at the intensity of it. Lavi is aware, he knows, because his emotions are pouring in along with everything else: relief, regret, love, sorrow, hope. It’s too much to handle and Kanda sobs and clings tightly to Lavi. In his heart, a new flower blooms, and he feels real love for the first time in his long, long life. It is painful and overwhelming and beautiful. Breathtaking and heartbreaking.
“Lavi,” Kanda gasps and the tears he feels sliding down his cheeks do not shame him.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Lavi stops feeding when he feels Kanda’s flutter of growing weakness streak through his mind. He is ravenous and Kanda’s blood is delicious, but he knows he must stop before he hurts him. His stomach itches as it heals. Blood vessels and nerves tickle as they become whole again. Ribs pop back into place and fuse along the broken seam like water flowing together around a rock.
The aftertaste is sweet and blood never felt so good on his tongue. Belatedly, he realizes that he no longer draws breath, his heart has stopped, and his mind buzzes with a crystalline clarity that organizes his thoughts like the unerring twist of an ancient vine. He takes a moment to assimilate all of the new information and opens his eye to meet Kanda’s. He is silently weeping and Lavi understands.
“Yuu,” he whispers as he wraps his arms around and pulls him close. “Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.” Kanda’s fingers clench tightly into his shirt and he buries his face in Lavi’s neck. “Yuu.”
~`~`~`~`~`~
Epilogue
“Almost there,” Lavi assures, rounding a corner of the path and climbing the last of the hill it spans.
“Better be,” Kanda grumbles. “I thought you said this place was a short ways away.”
“It is, for us,” he grins, sharp fangs glinting in the moonlight.
It is true, they had only been traveling for half an hour, but they had been running and the distance would have taken a human hours to traverse. It’s worth it, Lavi knows, to get Kanda up here despite his complaints.
When they reach the summit, Lavi stops to let Kanda take in the scene. To the left is a fenced-in field of moldering gravestones, each adorned with a stylized Celtic cross and a faded name. To their right is a hulking stone fortress, traditionally Irish in the style of the land. Dilapidated, there are holes in the walls, the spires are crumbling, and the drawbridge is rotting, but it is more than its appearance. Inside is the centuries-old library where Lavi found what they’ve been searching for.
“Come on,” Lavi invites and leads the way.
They tentatively cross the treacherous drawbridge and pick their way through the debris in the dark corridors until they reach the musty collection of aged texts. The high windows are framed by tattered velvet curtains parted to allow the shine of stars. In the center of the room is a wide marble table, whereupon sits a thick black tome. Lavi gestures to the book, already open to the appropriate page, and Kanda shoots him a dubious look before approaching to read.
After a moment, he stiffens. “This…!” Glancing back at a smiling Lavi, Kanda is too astonished for speech.
“It’s what we’ve been looking for,” Lavi confirms. “We can find her, Yuu. We can kill her.”
Kanda closes his eyes and clenches his fists. Ever since the night he witnessed his sister’s murder, he has dreamt of this. Attaining the means to find and kill the vampire responsible for her death had been his only reason to live. Now he had Lavi, but his desire for vengeance burned on. With the information written in this book, he could not only track her down whenever he wanted, but he could weaken her before she even saw them coming. It was everything they dared hope to find and more.
“This is what you were doing yesterday?” he simply asks.
“Well, yeah,” Lavi answers, confused. “What did you think? That I was stalking that bar wench because I said her form was vivacious?”
Growling, Kanda grabs Lavi by the shirt and brings their faces close together. “I’m sick of sharing you with them.”
“It’s not like I enjoy sharing you with the humans, either, Yuu, but we both gotta eat, don’t we?” Lavi fights a smirk. “Besides, it’s not like we’re screwing anyone but each other, so what’s it matter?”
“It matters,” Kanda hisses.
“Then, you know the solution, right?” Lavi purrs. “We kill the witch, become human, and then we never have to involve anyone in our lives ever again. Except Allen, Lenalee, Komui, Reever, Krory, Miranda, and anyone else we happen to make friends wi-” Lavi is cut off by his own yelp that turns into a moan when Kanda grips his upper arms and crushes his mouth in a wicked kiss. There was something to be said for Kanda’s jealousy.
Lavi eagerly kisses back, provoking the searching tongue and instigating a brief but intense fight. Simultaneously, they begin to tug clothing out of the way. Without breaking contact, they strip each other in haste until there is no more hindering fabric between them. When they separate, Lavi shivers at the wild expression he has created.
Their mouths meet in a wet, forceful kiss as their hands grasp for firm holds. Lavi doesn’t bother to hold back his sounds. Kanda presses their hips together and their twin groans echo through the dusty library. Soon sweat and moisture in the humid air ease the slide of smooth flesh and Kanda’s expert rhythm.
“Like that, Yuu, just like that,” Lavi avidly cheers, mouthing an earlobe.
Lavi twists his hips and Kanda’s eyelids slide shut. In a fraction of a second, Lavi slams Kanda’s shoulders to the chilled marble and gets a hiss for his trouble. Then Kanda doesn’t care anymore because Lavi’s hot mouth counters the cold slab nicely. Circling a nipple, Lavi nips and kisses his way down the trim abdomen and stops at his third favorite part of his lover. First and second being brain and eyes, of course.
As a painter and his masterpiece, Lavi deals out perfect strokes, painting the beautiful scene of Kanda’s imminent release. With soft groans and whispered encouragement, Kanda approves of this endeavor. Before the project is complete, Lavi decides to go a different direction with his work. Agile tongue sliding home expertly, he caresses and teases open the stubborn little nub until he can fit a slick finger inside.
“Fuck, Lavi!” Kanda breathes when his button is pressed so gently.
“That’s the idea,” Lavi grins and devours him whole. His reward is the unabashed moan reverberating unrestrained from Kanda’s mouth.
Before he is driven too far, Kanda digs demanding fingers into Lavi’s soft red hair and pulls him up to growl against his lips, “Come on,” and bites them. He allows a fang to puncture the soft tissue because he knows it will stoke the feral fires in Lavi’s belly. He is not disappointed.
Lavi bares his teeth and pulls Kanda’s head back to expose the tempting line of his throat. “You got it,” he mutters.
“Ah!” Kanda gasps as Lavi pushes in. The trickle of blood patters onto the table near his ear and Kanda shudders against the nearly intolerable bliss of being drained and filled at the same time. Lavi deliberately spikes Kanda’s blood with an extra-strength dose of the enzymes. Eyes rolling back and teeth aching, he finds a firm, delicious home for them in the hollow between Lavi’s exposed collar bone and strong shoulder. His eyes flutter as the tingling elixir of their mutual lust swirls into his heart and out to his extremities. His appreciation rumbles through Lavi’s flesh and tumbles down his spine.
When they pull apart, licking the blood from their lips, their eyes are glassy and their bodies radiate heat. Rocking to the imaginary beat of their dead hearts, Lavi drops filthy words and sweet, bloody kisses like warm rain over Kanda’s skin. He drinks them in and decorates Lavi’s back with thin, shallow lines of need. “More,” he groans. Lavi complies, dipping his head to gently trace dangerous fangs over delicate skin as he redoubles the pace.
His veins burn with it and the deep look in Lavi’s vivid green eye is enough to send him spiraling up and crashing down with a whole-body shudder and a choked shout of his name. Shattered, Kanda clings as Lavi moans a long, quiet, “Yuu…”
Their final kiss is as the sunrise: warm, hopeful, and full of strident light.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Shaking his head at Komui’s usual ridiculousness, Allen squeezes Lenalee’s hand to get her attention. He looks towards where Lavi and Kanda are returning from their little vacation.
“I wonder how Kanda took the news,” Allen says.
“Well, if their disheveled appearances are any indication…” Reever lears.
“Don’t say such lecherous things in front of Lenalee!” Komui demands, emphatically waving his arm in her direction.
“What? She’s 19 now. It’s not like she and Allen haven’t-”
Allen interrupts by clearing his throat and loudly greeting their returning companions. “Welcome back! How was it?”
“Fun!” Lavi replies.
“And informative,” Kanda soberly adds. “We know exactly where to go next.”
“Great!” Lenalee smiles. “Where to?”
“Japan,” Lavi answers.
“But you’re not going,” Kanda declares. “It’s too-”
“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Allen rolls his eyes. “It’s too dangerous for us puny humans and you have to go by yourself because of some ingrained sense of honor or some such, right?” Kanda is humorously taken-aback. “Well, tough, okay? We’re going.”
“That’s right,” Lenalee agrees, with a firm nod for good measure.
“But Lenalee!” Komui cries.
“Oh, shut up, brother, you’re coming, too,” Lenalee huffs and Komui’s eyes glaze with appreciative tears.
Laughing, Lavi says, “Well, that’s settled, then. To Japan!”
Kanda sighs in defeat, but part of him is grateful. He won’t have to do this alone. His friends will always be beside him.
Lavi’s smile is bright and loving and Kanda believes he will never get used to this feeling.
THE END
Pairing: Kanda/Lavi
Rating: M
Warnings: Yaoi, violence, language, vampire AU
Before Lavi can begin to panic, he remembers that vampires don’t breathe unless they’re talking. Even so, he can’t help but feel like he should do something. He shakes Kanda gently at first, but when nothing happens, he shakes him harder. He calls his name and touches his face, once he finds it by feel. He hears himself start to hyperventilate but he’s too busy feeling for gaping, bloody wounds to care. He finds a couple of wet, sticky spots and one of his arms is broken at the wrist, but there is nothing that explains Kanda’s complete lack of response. Finally, Lavi lays him down on the floor and kneels beside him, working to reign in the terror.
“You can’t help him if you’re freaking out…” he whispers, but his fingers clench into the fabric of his pants.
He hears a soft groan and nearly cries with relief.
“Yuu!? Are you all right?”
“…Lavi?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” He remembers their last moment together and loses the will to reach for him. Kanda probably wishes he was locked up with anyone else. “Sorry…”
“Lavi,” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
Soft rustle of fabric and what sounds like a quiet sob, Kanda is clutching Lavi’s hand with his good wrist and before Lavi can marvel at the strength he still has, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. Frozen, he doesn’t know what to do. Kanda has never hugged him before. Not like this.
“Yuu? Are you all right?” His voice is shaky with fear but he holds onto Kanda just the same.
“Lavi. I’m so sorry.”
“Wha-? No, I’m the one who should be sayin’ I’m sorry!” Lavi grips Kanda’s shoulder, “I know you probably can’t forgive me, but I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry I betrayed your trust. You mean so much to me and I fucked it all up, Yuu.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kanda declares. “I thought they’d killed you. Lavi.”
“Nah, they just roughed me up a bit…I’m okay. But man, am I glad to see you,” he adds with a hint of vulnerability. It seemed too good to be true, earning forgiveness after what he did.
“You reek of blood-don’t tell me you’re okay!” Kanda hisses. “Where are you hurt?”
“I’m really all right. A few hours ago I thought I was gonna die, but I woke up here and I was good as new again.” Lavi takes a breath to calm himself. “They must’ve given me some kinda potion or something. Besides, you’re the one who’s hurt! Your wrist-”
“I’ll be fine,” he grunts as he slips the two halves of bone back into their proper places. Instantaneously, he feels the tissues begin to seal together again. Once it finishes healing, he reaches for Lavi, feeling over his body and searching for injuries, but there were none. Numerous holes perforate his clothing but his skin is whole. “How is this possible?”
“I don’t know, but we should figure it out later. Right now, I really just wanna get the hell outta here, y’know?” Kanda hears him stand and can just make out his arm reaching for the wall. His fingers slide into a small crevice and he utters a triumphant sound. “Can you fight?” he asks and Kanda confirms that he can. “Then follow me. I memorized the way up.”
~`~`~`~`~`~
Allen stops before the heavy black gate and glares at the pair of vampires standing on the other side of it. Lenalee pauses to his left and looks past the gate to the looming castle beyond. It had been easy to find, following a small pack of the clan back to the nest, since Cross was never one for subtlety. Stepping up the ornate bars, he gets the guard’s attention and says, “We’re here to see Cross.”
Black-clad and statuesque, the vampire flicks a glance at Allen and Lenalee and scoffs. “I’m sure.”
Frustrated but not surprised, “He knows me,” Allen insists. “He sent me on my own mission into a nest a few years ago. Where I met a vampire named Kanda.”
Stiffening at the name, the guard hisses. Within seconds, a group of vampires surrounds them, grips tight and claws puncturing. “Take them to Cross,” one of them orders.
Shooting Lenalee a bracing look, Allen allows himself to be dragged into the castle, up the center stairs, and down a grand corridor ending in a large chamber. Inside, Cross stands beside an active fireplace and twirls a golden lock of the young woman kneeling before him. His smile widens when he notices them. It takes everything Allen has not to attack on sight.
“Little brat, how nice to see you again,” Cross snickers. “And you’ve brought me a present! How considerate.” He reaches for her cheek and Lenalee twitches at Cross’ tainted touch. “A fine specimen.”
“I want back in,” Allen blurts. “I want to be your student again.”
Focus shifting back to Allen, Cross approaches with casual steps. “’That so?”
“Yes.”
“You sure this isn’t just some hare-brained rescue attempt? Your master’s locked in my dungeon and you’re compelled to save him?”
“Kanda’s not my master,” Allen spits. “You are.”
Despite himself, Cross’ smile turns pleased. “Ah, my little rabbit finally wants to come home? What makes you think I’d want you? After all, you failed your last task, didn’t you?”
“Give me another chance,” Allen pleads, “I’ll do anything.”
“Is this the part where I tell you to kill Kanda and you miraculously free him instead?” Cross wags a finger at Allen’s dismayed expression. “I’m a lot of things, kid, but stupid isn’t one of them.” Lazily sinking into a plush sofa, he gestures to his shivering companion to join him by the floor as he says, “Toss them into the same hole as the other two. I’ll deal with them after my meal.”
“Yes, master,” the nearest vampire replies.
Down three flights of stairs, the air grows danker the further they are hauled. They come to a final corridor and a rotting iron-framed wooden door is unbarred and yanked open to reveal an expansive stone-lined room drenched in darkness. On their own, it could have taken Allen and Lenalee hours to find it.
One vampire precedes the others, carrying a torch a torch that dimly reveals most of the cavernous space, though the corners are still well shrouded in shadow. Near the center of the room lies a round trapdoor that is swiftly flung open by an impatient jailer.
As he is pulled toward the deep well, Allen peers in and realizes it is empty even as the vampire exclaims, “They’re gone!”
On alert, the vampires are surprised nonetheless by the pair of disheveled escapees leaping in and disrupting their formation. Allen catches a glimpse of maroon hair as he dips to swipe the feet from under his clingy captor. Lenalee exhales a sharp puff of air as she delivers a cracking blow to an enemy sternum with the heel of her shoe, sending him skidding across the floor out of the radius of torchlight.
Growls, hisses, screams, and thuds play as background music while they fight. There are four of them and seven vampires but soon, they are victorious. Kanda comes into Allen’s line of sight even as Lavi envelopes him into a tight, brief hug.
“Lavi! Are you guys okay?” Allen says as he returns the gesture.
“We’re good,” Lavi grins. “Thanks for the assist!”
“You two should have stayed home,” Kanda rebukes, “It’s too dangerous.”
“We couldn’t just sit at home when you two were in trouble!” Lenalee declares.
“That’s exactly what you should have done. We can handle Cross,” he counters.
“Can we escape now and argue about this later?” Lavi interjects.
“This way.” Allen leads them back through the labyrinthine path to the best of his memory, but they still end up shy of the exit. Backtracking, they run into another cluster of the coven and waste precious time fighting them off.
At last, they come upon the main hall and Lavi huffs a premature sigh of relief when he sees the entrance.
“Wait,” Kanda says and they stop.
“Come on, Yuu, the exit’s right there!”
“No, Lavi. I will not run anymore,” he proclaims. “Not from Cross’ underlings and not from Cross. Not from any vampire ever again. I will fight. You three go now while you can.”
“Don’t be stupid, Kanda, you can’t take on a whole coven by yourself,” Allen insists.
“We won’t leave you,” Lenalee adds.
Lavi steps forward, a gentle, determined look on his bloodied face. Laying a hand on Kanda’s shoulder, he says, “I understand your decision. But you’re much dumber than I believed if you think any of us will let you face him alone. If we’re doing this, we’re going to do it together.” He watches Kanda’s face for the telltale hint of the swell of emotion his words cause. It’s there.
“So be it,” Kanda mutters, turning away from them.
With a knowing smile, Lavi nods to his friends and together they climb the steps to the final boss.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Gorged on a fresh blood meal, Cross is splayed out on his favorite sofa and smoking an immensely satisfying cigarette when the doors to his chambers crash open. His serenity shattered, he frowns as he stands to face the quartet of miscreants intruding on his property.
“Fuckin’ worthless goons,” he spits, vowing to dismember the rest of his coven and start anew somewhere a little more rugged. Russia, maybe. “What do you freaks want?”
“What do you think, you puzzlingly putrid pussing pimple?” Lavi creatively queries. “Your heart on a stake, your head on a slab, and your bones in the dirt, motherfucker!”
“Oh? Mouthy little prick, aren’t you, vampire’s slut?” Eyeing their bloody weapons, Cross discards his cigarette and draws his own sword. “Just for that, I’m gonna kill ya, nice ‘n slow.”
“You will never get the chance,” Kanda promises. Gripping Mugen tight, he sidesteps away from his friends, hoping to draw Cross towards the center of the room. But Cross is smarter than that.
Faster than the human brats could see, Cross leaps and strikes at the green-haired female. A smirk crawls across his face in anticipation of an easy kill. It falls right off when Kanda’s little whore jumps in and manages to guard her pale twig-neck. Snarling, his one green eye goes fierce and Cross is forced to block a series of slashes from the boy. Startled but refusing to show it, Cross parries the blows and returns some in exchange. By the time he knocks the redhead back, the two kittens have retreated and Kanda is behind him, aiming his silver fang of a sword at Cross’ spine.
Laughing, Cross dodges attacks from both sides with ease. He relishes their dismay. Fast as a thought, Cross slides sword through air and parts Kanda’s skin with its cold edge. The wound is shallow but long and Kanda claps an arm over the oozing slice as his lover shouts in fear. Taking the opening, Cross lunges at the distracted boy and punches him across the room to smack against a painting on the wall. He hears the impact break the frame as well as a rib or two as he blocks a sloppy, retaliatory slash from his primary adversary.
“You’ll have to do better than that,” he snickers as Kanda loses his balance and falls to one knee. Blood seeps from under his arm and Cross wonders if he might have cut deeper than he thought. It would be a shame if this ended too soon.
“Lavi?” Kanda calls without taking his eyes from Cross. A soft groan is his answer. That’s when Cross realizes that the two brats are missing. Too late, he sees one of them on the other side of the room, aiming a crossbow at his chest. The blazing arrow is already aloft.
“Shit,” he hisses as it embeds itself into his left lung, centimeters from his heart. The pain is immediate and intense but it doesn’t distract him from Kanda’s killing swing for his neck. Ripping the arrow from between his ribs, he flings it with full force at his ex-disciple and takes great pleasure in the wordless pain he shouts when it pins his right shoulder to the wall.
“Allen!” the girl screams and Cross catches her in the act of preparing to throw a broken coat rack, splintered end pointed at his back. He advances on her and rips the makeshift spear from her limp grasp and backhands her. She cries out as her head snaps to the side and she crumples to lie still on the scarlet Persian rug.
Kanda is there and he lands a hit to Cross’ thigh. Cross allows this so that he can use his new weapon. Before Kanda can tug his sword free of his ropey leg muscles, Cross thrusts the spear straight at Kanda’s unguarded gut. His enemy’s eyes widen as he realizes he doesn’t have time to dodge. Suddenly, another body is barring the spear’s path and Cross’ victory grin curdles.
~`~`~`~`~`~
“No!” Kanda bellows as Lavi falls to the ground, polished mahogany three inches thick protruding from his abdomen. In the moment of Cross’ shock, Allen shoots an arrow into his neck, paralyzing him, and Kanda’s sword swipes just under it, severing the monster’s head from the stump of his fat neck. Astonishment freezes on Cross’ face as his head rolls a jagged path across the polished stone and comes to a stop on his red rug. The body falls backwards with a dull thud a moment later, splattering blood in rays from the spout of its collar.
Ignoring the body, Kanda collapses to his knees where Lavi lies and gently works the wood from the flesh of his stomach. “Lavi,” he calls, pulling off his coat to wrap around the wound. “Lavi, wake up.” He hears Allen rousing a disoriented Lenalee and fights off a dangerous wave of sorrow. “Lavi!”
“Kanda,” Allen murmurs. “Kanda, we have to go.”
The urgency of Allen’s tone is the only thing that manages to catch his attention. It is only then that he notices the heat. The castle is on fire, probably started from the torch they left lying in the dungeon. Dry, dusty, and full of ancient furniture, the entire structure is quickly being engulfed in ravenous flames. Spreading from the only corridor leading to this room, the flames reach a bookshelf and roar up the wall, shattering a high stained-glass window.
“Come on,” Lenalee urges as she stoops to help carry Lavi. Kanda follows suit as Allen begins to climb another bookshelf up to the window furthest from the blaze. Gingerly, Kanda carries Lavi up and out the window, landing as softly as possible on the other side.
They hurry across the grounds, Allen and Lenalee fighting off what few vampires remain on the way. The town is less than a mile away but it seems like the longest journey Kanda has ever undertaken. They reach an inn and manage to quickly secure a room, despite their terrifying appearances. Rather than relief, Kanda feels a growing sense of doom as he lays Lavi onto the bed.
Looking him over, “This wound is mortal, yet he lives,” Kanda breathes, mind racing. “In the well, he was covered in blood but he had no injuries.”
Lenalee’s face lights up with realization. “Kanda, could he…could he be turning?”
“How could he?” Allen speaks when Kanda remains silent. “If Cross had turned him, he would have reverted as soon as the bastard died. Otherwise, I would be turning now, since he threw that arrow back at me with so much of his blood on it.”
Both humans ponder this. Then, “Cross didn’t turn him,” Kanda gasps. “I did.”
“What do you mean? Not on purpose…?” Lenalee hesitates.
“No,” he confirms. “The night I first fed from Lavi, he licked a drop of blood from my mouth. I thought it was his but I must have bitten my lip. It was my blood.” Dropping his face into his palms, “What have I done?” he cries.
“You saved his life!” Allen asserts.
“Don’t be a fool! What kind of life is this?” Kanda demands. “A demon’s existence. Fit for a murderer but not for him. What have I done?”
Aching to comfort but not daring to try, Lenalee directed her efforts to bandaging Lavi’s wound instead. It isn’t bleeding anymore but it isn’t healing at vampire speed, either. “He needs blood,” she whispers. At Kanda’s confused look, “You said he had just healed from many injuries when you found him, right? He needs more blood to heal any more.”
“Go. I’ll see to it.”
“You’re hurt, too, Kanda, let me or Allen-”
“You don’t know what a vampire’s first feeding is like,” he barks. “Just go.”
His tone brooks no argument, so the two take their leave for now. When the door snicks shut behind them, Kanda leans over Lavi, brushing the fringe from his pale face. “Lavi.” He gets no response but that doesn’t matter.
He remembers explaining the process of becoming a vampire to Lavi. The victim had to ingest a sire’s blood or be infected from the bloodstream, and the amount of blood transferred would determine the speed of the Change. For one little drop, it would take months. Gradually, the body would become stronger and faster, the senses sharper, and the heart slower. Sensitivity to sunlight and nocturnal tendencies would be of the last to develop. Finally, the heart would stop and the Hunger would begin.
Kanda can hear Lavi’s heart still beating, pulsing only a few times a minute but there nonetheless. He would be the one to stop his heart for good. And save his life. He would strip Lavi’s humanity from him and replace it with feral voracity.
For a moment, he considers letting Lavi die. Who was to say that he wouldn’t want that anyway? Then he decides that he will force the Change and, if Lavi asks him to kill himself and free him from the Curse, Kanda will, without hesitation.
Bearing his fangs, Kanda bites into his own wrist and slots it over Lavi’s parted lips. It drips steadily and Kanda makes a fist to keep it flowing. At first, there is no reaction but the slow trickle of Lavi’s sluggish breathing. Quick as a flash of lightning, Lavi’s eye flares open and his teeth bite down onto Kanda’s arm.
He feels a rush of sensation coursing up and gasps at the intensity of it. Lavi is aware, he knows, because his emotions are pouring in along with everything else: relief, regret, love, sorrow, hope. It’s too much to handle and Kanda sobs and clings tightly to Lavi. In his heart, a new flower blooms, and he feels real love for the first time in his long, long life. It is painful and overwhelming and beautiful. Breathtaking and heartbreaking.
“Lavi,” Kanda gasps and the tears he feels sliding down his cheeks do not shame him.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Lavi stops feeding when he feels Kanda’s flutter of growing weakness streak through his mind. He is ravenous and Kanda’s blood is delicious, but he knows he must stop before he hurts him. His stomach itches as it heals. Blood vessels and nerves tickle as they become whole again. Ribs pop back into place and fuse along the broken seam like water flowing together around a rock.
The aftertaste is sweet and blood never felt so good on his tongue. Belatedly, he realizes that he no longer draws breath, his heart has stopped, and his mind buzzes with a crystalline clarity that organizes his thoughts like the unerring twist of an ancient vine. He takes a moment to assimilate all of the new information and opens his eye to meet Kanda’s. He is silently weeping and Lavi understands.
“Yuu,” he whispers as he wraps his arms around and pulls him close. “Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.” Kanda’s fingers clench tightly into his shirt and he buries his face in Lavi’s neck. “Yuu.”
~`~`~`~`~`~
Epilogue
“Almost there,” Lavi assures, rounding a corner of the path and climbing the last of the hill it spans.
“Better be,” Kanda grumbles. “I thought you said this place was a short ways away.”
“It is, for us,” he grins, sharp fangs glinting in the moonlight.
It is true, they had only been traveling for half an hour, but they had been running and the distance would have taken a human hours to traverse. It’s worth it, Lavi knows, to get Kanda up here despite his complaints.
When they reach the summit, Lavi stops to let Kanda take in the scene. To the left is a fenced-in field of moldering gravestones, each adorned with a stylized Celtic cross and a faded name. To their right is a hulking stone fortress, traditionally Irish in the style of the land. Dilapidated, there are holes in the walls, the spires are crumbling, and the drawbridge is rotting, but it is more than its appearance. Inside is the centuries-old library where Lavi found what they’ve been searching for.
“Come on,” Lavi invites and leads the way.
They tentatively cross the treacherous drawbridge and pick their way through the debris in the dark corridors until they reach the musty collection of aged texts. The high windows are framed by tattered velvet curtains parted to allow the shine of stars. In the center of the room is a wide marble table, whereupon sits a thick black tome. Lavi gestures to the book, already open to the appropriate page, and Kanda shoots him a dubious look before approaching to read.
After a moment, he stiffens. “This…!” Glancing back at a smiling Lavi, Kanda is too astonished for speech.
“It’s what we’ve been looking for,” Lavi confirms. “We can find her, Yuu. We can kill her.”
Kanda closes his eyes and clenches his fists. Ever since the night he witnessed his sister’s murder, he has dreamt of this. Attaining the means to find and kill the vampire responsible for her death had been his only reason to live. Now he had Lavi, but his desire for vengeance burned on. With the information written in this book, he could not only track her down whenever he wanted, but he could weaken her before she even saw them coming. It was everything they dared hope to find and more.
“This is what you were doing yesterday?” he simply asks.
“Well, yeah,” Lavi answers, confused. “What did you think? That I was stalking that bar wench because I said her form was vivacious?”
Growling, Kanda grabs Lavi by the shirt and brings their faces close together. “I’m sick of sharing you with them.”
“It’s not like I enjoy sharing you with the humans, either, Yuu, but we both gotta eat, don’t we?” Lavi fights a smirk. “Besides, it’s not like we’re screwing anyone but each other, so what’s it matter?”
“It matters,” Kanda hisses.
“Then, you know the solution, right?” Lavi purrs. “We kill the witch, become human, and then we never have to involve anyone in our lives ever again. Except Allen, Lenalee, Komui, Reever, Krory, Miranda, and anyone else we happen to make friends wi-” Lavi is cut off by his own yelp that turns into a moan when Kanda grips his upper arms and crushes his mouth in a wicked kiss. There was something to be said for Kanda’s jealousy.
Lavi eagerly kisses back, provoking the searching tongue and instigating a brief but intense fight. Simultaneously, they begin to tug clothing out of the way. Without breaking contact, they strip each other in haste until there is no more hindering fabric between them. When they separate, Lavi shivers at the wild expression he has created.
Their mouths meet in a wet, forceful kiss as their hands grasp for firm holds. Lavi doesn’t bother to hold back his sounds. Kanda presses their hips together and their twin groans echo through the dusty library. Soon sweat and moisture in the humid air ease the slide of smooth flesh and Kanda’s expert rhythm.
“Like that, Yuu, just like that,” Lavi avidly cheers, mouthing an earlobe.
Lavi twists his hips and Kanda’s eyelids slide shut. In a fraction of a second, Lavi slams Kanda’s shoulders to the chilled marble and gets a hiss for his trouble. Then Kanda doesn’t care anymore because Lavi’s hot mouth counters the cold slab nicely. Circling a nipple, Lavi nips and kisses his way down the trim abdomen and stops at his third favorite part of his lover. First and second being brain and eyes, of course.
As a painter and his masterpiece, Lavi deals out perfect strokes, painting the beautiful scene of Kanda’s imminent release. With soft groans and whispered encouragement, Kanda approves of this endeavor. Before the project is complete, Lavi decides to go a different direction with his work. Agile tongue sliding home expertly, he caresses and teases open the stubborn little nub until he can fit a slick finger inside.
“Fuck, Lavi!” Kanda breathes when his button is pressed so gently.
“That’s the idea,” Lavi grins and devours him whole. His reward is the unabashed moan reverberating unrestrained from Kanda’s mouth.
Before he is driven too far, Kanda digs demanding fingers into Lavi’s soft red hair and pulls him up to growl against his lips, “Come on,” and bites them. He allows a fang to puncture the soft tissue because he knows it will stoke the feral fires in Lavi’s belly. He is not disappointed.
Lavi bares his teeth and pulls Kanda’s head back to expose the tempting line of his throat. “You got it,” he mutters.
“Ah!” Kanda gasps as Lavi pushes in. The trickle of blood patters onto the table near his ear and Kanda shudders against the nearly intolerable bliss of being drained and filled at the same time. Lavi deliberately spikes Kanda’s blood with an extra-strength dose of the enzymes. Eyes rolling back and teeth aching, he finds a firm, delicious home for them in the hollow between Lavi’s exposed collar bone and strong shoulder. His eyes flutter as the tingling elixir of their mutual lust swirls into his heart and out to his extremities. His appreciation rumbles through Lavi’s flesh and tumbles down his spine.
When they pull apart, licking the blood from their lips, their eyes are glassy and their bodies radiate heat. Rocking to the imaginary beat of their dead hearts, Lavi drops filthy words and sweet, bloody kisses like warm rain over Kanda’s skin. He drinks them in and decorates Lavi’s back with thin, shallow lines of need. “More,” he groans. Lavi complies, dipping his head to gently trace dangerous fangs over delicate skin as he redoubles the pace.
His veins burn with it and the deep look in Lavi’s vivid green eye is enough to send him spiraling up and crashing down with a whole-body shudder and a choked shout of his name. Shattered, Kanda clings as Lavi moans a long, quiet, “Yuu…”
Their final kiss is as the sunrise: warm, hopeful, and full of strident light.
~`~`~`~`~`~
Shaking his head at Komui’s usual ridiculousness, Allen squeezes Lenalee’s hand to get her attention. He looks towards where Lavi and Kanda are returning from their little vacation.
“I wonder how Kanda took the news,” Allen says.
“Well, if their disheveled appearances are any indication…” Reever lears.
“Don’t say such lecherous things in front of Lenalee!” Komui demands, emphatically waving his arm in her direction.
“What? She’s 19 now. It’s not like she and Allen haven’t-”
Allen interrupts by clearing his throat and loudly greeting their returning companions. “Welcome back! How was it?”
“Fun!” Lavi replies.
“And informative,” Kanda soberly adds. “We know exactly where to go next.”
“Great!” Lenalee smiles. “Where to?”
“Japan,” Lavi answers.
“But you’re not going,” Kanda declares. “It’s too-”
“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Allen rolls his eyes. “It’s too dangerous for us puny humans and you have to go by yourself because of some ingrained sense of honor or some such, right?” Kanda is humorously taken-aback. “Well, tough, okay? We’re going.”
“That’s right,” Lenalee agrees, with a firm nod for good measure.
“But Lenalee!” Komui cries.
“Oh, shut up, brother, you’re coming, too,” Lenalee huffs and Komui’s eyes glaze with appreciative tears.
Laughing, Lavi says, “Well, that’s settled, then. To Japan!”
Kanda sighs in defeat, but part of him is grateful. He won’t have to do this alone. His friends will always be beside him.
Lavi’s smile is bright and loving and Kanda believes he will never get used to this feeling.
THE END