Does anyone have a shotgun...
Because if so the use of it, including bullets, would be much appreciated.
Picture the scene.
I am in my garden, sunbathing.
Reading Marian Keyes.
In my black bikini.
My bikini from two years ago which is thread bare and falling apart.
I am only wearing said bikini because my others are in the wash after Zante.
Having neglected to put sunblock on my knees, they are both pink enough to pass as lobsters.
To combat the sun on my knees, I have tied sarongs around my knees so that the rest of my legs are still in the sun but said knees are protected.
One sarong is green, the other pink and purple.
My hair is a mess.
I am wearing no makeup.
Get the picture? Imagining it? Good.
Because who comes strolling into the garden but a family looking at our house (which is on the market - any offers much apprecaited).
In this family is possibly one of the fittest guys I have seen in the area in quite a while.
And I am in my bikini, with sarongs tied around my knees.
Oh the shame!
(cries hysterically)
Picture the scene.
I am in my garden, sunbathing.
Reading Marian Keyes.
In my black bikini.
My bikini from two years ago which is thread bare and falling apart.
I am only wearing said bikini because my others are in the wash after Zante.
Having neglected to put sunblock on my knees, they are both pink enough to pass as lobsters.
To combat the sun on my knees, I have tied sarongs around my knees so that the rest of my legs are still in the sun but said knees are protected.
One sarong is green, the other pink and purple.
My hair is a mess.
I am wearing no makeup.
Get the picture? Imagining it? Good.
Because who comes strolling into the garden but a family looking at our house (which is on the market - any offers much apprecaited).
In this family is possibly one of the fittest guys I have seen in the area in quite a while.
And I am in my bikini, with sarongs tied around my knees.
Oh the shame!
(cries hysterically)