Update because I feel like I should
A lot has changed for me. I mean, there's a lot I'm simply going to refuse to talk about on here, but that's the shit that the people close to me already know. This is the internet and I'd like to keep some modicum of privacy, after all.
So far, even though it's only a couple weeks old, 2010 has started well. New Years is pretty much a fake holiday and a fake new beginning. One can begin new whenever he feels like it. Every moment is a new beginning of one kind or another.
I decided to kick off 2010 on my own terms. I quit my job at BBB, not that it was the best of circumstance, but I decided not to let someone else dictate how I felt about myself, my stress level and my health.
I've been sick a lot in the last 6 months and I think much of it has to do with the huge amount of stress I had been under at work. The turn-on-a-dime doing well, then being the worst employee. Being told that "I like that out of you" and then being told, because of the decisions which were supported when you made them that you were a problem employee. The Sibylline aspect of that work environment was quickly bringing me down so far. I was digging into a hole of depression and illness. I needed out.
So, I left.
I've already got a new job, so I've been really lucky. I have a great network of people who look out for me, as I've found in the last half of 2009, and they make sure I'm taken care of -- even when I don't have a fully formed plan, but know I need to take drastic action. I don't think there's really a way I can actually express my gratitude for any of the people who've really taken care of me recently. You're all truly amazing. I love you all, really and truly.
I would suppose that there could be more that I could say, but I really don't want to. I've been playing my life very close to my chest for some time and I like the control it affords me, even if it makes me cryptic and vague in forums like this. It's not that I don't like blogging or writing my thoughts out -- I've actually taken more to written journalling as of late. While my hand cramps, it feels more like I'm writing something from me, as opposed to just getting words out of me. If that even makes any sense.
I'm going to make this year the year of projects to accomplish. For real, I want this to be the year where I really move through and do the improvements in my life -- and take the risks in my life -- that I've been really afraid to accomplish. I want to really take life by the balls. I've learned that life is what you make it, not what it makes you. So, it's really time for me to just embrace life. Live life. Be life.
It'll be difficult, but I'm so up for this challenge it's nearly disgusting.
So far, even though it's only a couple weeks old, 2010 has started well. New Years is pretty much a fake holiday and a fake new beginning. One can begin new whenever he feels like it. Every moment is a new beginning of one kind or another.
I decided to kick off 2010 on my own terms. I quit my job at BBB, not that it was the best of circumstance, but I decided not to let someone else dictate how I felt about myself, my stress level and my health.
I've been sick a lot in the last 6 months and I think much of it has to do with the huge amount of stress I had been under at work. The turn-on-a-dime doing well, then being the worst employee. Being told that "I like that out of you" and then being told, because of the decisions which were supported when you made them that you were a problem employee. The Sibylline aspect of that work environment was quickly bringing me down so far. I was digging into a hole of depression and illness. I needed out.
So, I left.
I've already got a new job, so I've been really lucky. I have a great network of people who look out for me, as I've found in the last half of 2009, and they make sure I'm taken care of -- even when I don't have a fully formed plan, but know I need to take drastic action. I don't think there's really a way I can actually express my gratitude for any of the people who've really taken care of me recently. You're all truly amazing. I love you all, really and truly.
I would suppose that there could be more that I could say, but I really don't want to. I've been playing my life very close to my chest for some time and I like the control it affords me, even if it makes me cryptic and vague in forums like this. It's not that I don't like blogging or writing my thoughts out -- I've actually taken more to written journalling as of late. While my hand cramps, it feels more like I'm writing something from me, as opposed to just getting words out of me. If that even makes any sense.
I'm going to make this year the year of projects to accomplish. For real, I want this to be the year where I really move through and do the improvements in my life -- and take the risks in my life -- that I've been really afraid to accomplish. I want to really take life by the balls. I've learned that life is what you make it, not what it makes you. So, it's really time for me to just embrace life. Live life. Be life.
It'll be difficult, but I'm so up for this challenge it's nearly disgusting.