it takes a while to grow anything
we all have weakness.
it is a lot easier to say i will be selfless, than to actually be selfless.
it is easier to say i am thankful, than to actually be continuously thankful.
i have no reason to worry about things.. and i tell myself that so much that it rings in my head.
but somehow it doesn't sink in. interesting.
my nature is not in line with who i aspire to be, and the conflict inside tears more than i expected.
it pulls me different ways and doesn't let my mind or heart rest.
its not about tip-toeing around anymore. its different.
but im trying to choose my words very well when i speak,
not to turn anything upside down.
my reasoning is not to win approval of the human race,
rather to be gentle and not place burdens where they dont need to be placed.
i dont want to be someone who is causing others to fall.
i would rather fall.
what if i made a positive impact on people consistently with a few mishaps here and there instead of
a normally negative impact with random positive glimmers?
i've felt so challenged with my life.
its not something to just let go.
i'm determined to continue growing- it's essential if my life is going to mean anything.