Where to begin?? That is the question...
It was a long night on Friday, atleast I think this is currently Saturday morning that I'm writing this. If its not then I got ready for work for no reason. Well anyway, didn't end up falling asleep at all. I thought about it but I didnt have the ability. I sort of have this case of depression right now. I'm not going to get into details online..Well, I ended up driving around for a few hours, just thinking. Driving helps to clear my mind. And I realized, I am so far past the point of confused. I really dont know how to take this all in. They say time heals all wounds, I however beleave that statement to be flawed. So much is going on right now. I'm having some trouble processing it all into understandable info for my brain. That makes me beleave I'm growing many new wrinkles for my brain! Then I guess if all I get out of this is new wrinkles...hmmm, well I'm glad the wrinkles cant be seen. Other then this thats been bothering me; all I can say is I'm sure everything will work out for the best. Although it may not be easy, I guess time will help a little.
About the party thing...It's supposed to be Monday night now, probably around 6 or so. But I'm not sure if I want to have it now. I guess it kinda depends on how other current aspects work out. I know it's not right to cancel it just because of that but I dont see the point of having a party/bar-b-que thing if only 2 people are there. Seems kind of pointless to me.
I feel pathetic...I used to have so many friends. Over time though they've all moved away for college or just plain moved away to get far from this state. And for some reason I've never really gone out trying to get new ones. Maybe it's because I'm not big on the whole club scene, or drinking. Seems like most teens my age only want to hang out with others who are into that. Makes me feel lost. Sort of abandoned. It was easy in highschool. There was always so many people around. Now a days, well, not many people are. I do however have a very good friend. Been there thru almost everything, atleast the past 10 years now almost. And I'm so greatful. Everyone else. People change, they drift different directions. Sure I run into a few of them every now and then. And yeah we say will make plans to go hangout some time. Doesnt happen though. Which is okay, I know people have their own lives and get busy.
There's so much I just want to say, type I guess sence I'm on here. But I'm running out of time cuz of work that I'd rather not go to. I think I want them to send me home early. I dout that will happen but I'll bring it up to the bosses.
I find myself back to the beginning. And again I know everything will work out for the best. However, it doesnt make it any easier. I have such high asperitions. I just wanted things to be so perfect. But because of that I created an unattractive situation I think. I know I dont always have some intellectual thing to say, but if I'm givin the oppotunity and someone doesnt mind explaining what their talking about then I know I'd have an opinion on it. I guess some people feel they shouldnt have to explain. That people should already know what they want to talk about. Atleast thats what it seems from me current prospective and how the situation was handled on their part....
ERRRRr I'm prolly going to be late to work if I dont leave right now..Talk to everyone later
About the party thing...It's supposed to be Monday night now, probably around 6 or so. But I'm not sure if I want to have it now. I guess it kinda depends on how other current aspects work out. I know it's not right to cancel it just because of that but I dont see the point of having a party/bar-b-que thing if only 2 people are there. Seems kind of pointless to me.
I feel pathetic...I used to have so many friends. Over time though they've all moved away for college or just plain moved away to get far from this state. And for some reason I've never really gone out trying to get new ones. Maybe it's because I'm not big on the whole club scene, or drinking. Seems like most teens my age only want to hang out with others who are into that. Makes me feel lost. Sort of abandoned. It was easy in highschool. There was always so many people around. Now a days, well, not many people are. I do however have a very good friend. Been there thru almost everything, atleast the past 10 years now almost. And I'm so greatful. Everyone else. People change, they drift different directions. Sure I run into a few of them every now and then. And yeah we say will make plans to go hangout some time. Doesnt happen though. Which is okay, I know people have their own lives and get busy.
There's so much I just want to say, type I guess sence I'm on here. But I'm running out of time cuz of work that I'd rather not go to. I think I want them to send me home early. I dout that will happen but I'll bring it up to the bosses.
I find myself back to the beginning. And again I know everything will work out for the best. However, it doesnt make it any easier. I have such high asperitions. I just wanted things to be so perfect. But because of that I created an unattractive situation I think. I know I dont always have some intellectual thing to say, but if I'm givin the oppotunity and someone doesnt mind explaining what their talking about then I know I'd have an opinion on it. I guess some people feel they shouldnt have to explain. That people should already know what they want to talk about. Atleast thats what it seems from me current prospective and how the situation was handled on their part....
ERRRRr I'm prolly going to be late to work if I dont leave right now..Talk to everyone later