(no subject)
All right. Let's get things warmed up in here.
Last night was pretty much the worst night I've spent in this house ever. I'm at the center of the drama where I did nothing and it sucks.
Setting: Hanging out in the kitchen. Characters: Morgan, Mikaela, Scott, and Seth. We're all just chilling, drinking (me less than everyone else because I didn't feel like drinking so much last night), and talking like a normal fucking night. Scott, being silly and drunk starts to fuck with me. Not bad fuck with me, just normal shit that I get from my guy friends like pushing and grabbing and pulling and all out harrassing. He even pulled me into a wrestling match which is not my forte so of course I lost because I'm not as strong. When finally I was able to get him off of me with the help of Mikaela he still pursued me and was just leaning on me and sitting on my lap whenever I was sitting down and shit like that. For the record, some of it was making me feel uncomfortable because Scott has never acted that way towards me and the fact that neither Nate nor Holly were here. (Holly being Scott's girlfriend.) So then, Mikaela started doing the same thing to me, hanging on me to mock Scott. I pushed her off. She looked at me and said, "Why didn't you do that to Scott?" like she was questioning my loyalties. Automatically I felt like I just went through some test and failed horribly. So it upset me. Because I know where my goddamn loyalties are and I don't like people fucking with them.
Setting: My bedroom. Characters: Morgan, Mikaela, Jon. I went and sat in my room because I'd have been better off alone at that point. In my insanity and state of mind, I text messaged Nate and asked a dumb question. "Baby, do you trust me?" I realize now that was not the best thing to ask when he's not going to know what's going on. I had my door locked but Mikaela broke in with a key. She lectured me on something, I don't remember. She related to the situation because one time Tommy slapped her on the ass and she didn't do anything about it and she told me how I'm supposed to stick up for myself. Well, I do stick up for myself and I don't like my ability to do so to be undermined. The only reason I didn't do anything is because it's Scott and it doesn't matter. I live with him - if he wants to fuck with me for real I know how to tell him where his place is, but in this case it was just drunkenness and it doesn't fucking matter. At this point Jon had come home from work. Mikaela let him know of her whereabouts and she let him in my room so now Jon has to see me in tears. Mikaela leaves to do whatever, and I'm left to explain to Jon how everything has been blown out of proportion and it's fucking bullshit. Jon talks to me a bit and gets me to feel a little better. While we were talking Nate messaged back asking why. At this point I thought everything was solved and all I had to do was talk to Scott in the morning. So I wrote back and told him Nevermind, big misunderstanding thats half solved. I then told Mikaela that she was out of line about what she said to me.
And I wanted to tell Nate what happened because I'm not going to hide anything from him and I'm glad he called me. I told him what was happening and of course he's not going to take it lightly from 8 hours away. He was very mad about the whole situation and said Scott never should have acted like that in the first place. In other words, he's ready to snap Scott's spinal cord in half. I tried my best to calm him down but he wouldn't accept that this wasn't a big deal. I feel his helplessness, I feel it too, being the one in the center of something I didn't do. But Nate wants to talk to Jon and get Jon's story, and he's supposed to call him today, and I'm hoping Jon will do a better job at reasoning with him. Because I don't want Nate to come home angry at the whole house ready to kill at will. It really isn't necessary.
Setting: Jon and Mikaela's bedroom. Characters: Morgan, Jon, Holly. Jon and I wanted to listen to vinyls and smoke pot so that's what we were doing when Holly came home. She went in her room and then came out and demanded to know what the fuck was going on. After Jon got her to quit yelling, I told her what happened. She, being in the same situation that Nate's in, flips out at me. She told me she wasn't comfortable with me being in the same house and said that Mikaela was right - why didn't I push him off? To which Jon butted in and started defending me and told Holly not to yell at me because I didn't do anything. Jon got pretty mad that she was yelling in his room and told her she could take her shit elsewhere but he wasn't going to have it in his room. So she finished her point and left to go yell at Scott, I imagine.
And maybe I was wrong to tell Holly. At least at the time. I don't know what's going on because I haven't even left my room yet this morning. I could hear Holly and Scott fighting this morning through my wall. I couldn't make out words but the subject was clear. But now I'm going to brave the hallway and go take a shower. I'm sorry this was so long, if you read all this you really didn't have to. It's just here for my reference.
Last night was pretty much the worst night I've spent in this house ever. I'm at the center of the drama where I did nothing and it sucks.
Setting: Hanging out in the kitchen. Characters: Morgan, Mikaela, Scott, and Seth. We're all just chilling, drinking (me less than everyone else because I didn't feel like drinking so much last night), and talking like a normal fucking night. Scott, being silly and drunk starts to fuck with me. Not bad fuck with me, just normal shit that I get from my guy friends like pushing and grabbing and pulling and all out harrassing. He even pulled me into a wrestling match which is not my forte so of course I lost because I'm not as strong. When finally I was able to get him off of me with the help of Mikaela he still pursued me and was just leaning on me and sitting on my lap whenever I was sitting down and shit like that. For the record, some of it was making me feel uncomfortable because Scott has never acted that way towards me and the fact that neither Nate nor Holly were here. (Holly being Scott's girlfriend.) So then, Mikaela started doing the same thing to me, hanging on me to mock Scott. I pushed her off. She looked at me and said, "Why didn't you do that to Scott?" like she was questioning my loyalties. Automatically I felt like I just went through some test and failed horribly. So it upset me. Because I know where my goddamn loyalties are and I don't like people fucking with them.
Setting: My bedroom. Characters: Morgan, Mikaela, Jon. I went and sat in my room because I'd have been better off alone at that point. In my insanity and state of mind, I text messaged Nate and asked a dumb question. "Baby, do you trust me?" I realize now that was not the best thing to ask when he's not going to know what's going on. I had my door locked but Mikaela broke in with a key. She lectured me on something, I don't remember. She related to the situation because one time Tommy slapped her on the ass and she didn't do anything about it and she told me how I'm supposed to stick up for myself. Well, I do stick up for myself and I don't like my ability to do so to be undermined. The only reason I didn't do anything is because it's Scott and it doesn't matter. I live with him - if he wants to fuck with me for real I know how to tell him where his place is, but in this case it was just drunkenness and it doesn't fucking matter. At this point Jon had come home from work. Mikaela let him know of her whereabouts and she let him in my room so now Jon has to see me in tears. Mikaela leaves to do whatever, and I'm left to explain to Jon how everything has been blown out of proportion and it's fucking bullshit. Jon talks to me a bit and gets me to feel a little better. While we were talking Nate messaged back asking why. At this point I thought everything was solved and all I had to do was talk to Scott in the morning. So I wrote back and told him Nevermind, big misunderstanding thats half solved. I then told Mikaela that she was out of line about what she said to me.
And I wanted to tell Nate what happened because I'm not going to hide anything from him and I'm glad he called me. I told him what was happening and of course he's not going to take it lightly from 8 hours away. He was very mad about the whole situation and said Scott never should have acted like that in the first place. In other words, he's ready to snap Scott's spinal cord in half. I tried my best to calm him down but he wouldn't accept that this wasn't a big deal. I feel his helplessness, I feel it too, being the one in the center of something I didn't do. But Nate wants to talk to Jon and get Jon's story, and he's supposed to call him today, and I'm hoping Jon will do a better job at reasoning with him. Because I don't want Nate to come home angry at the whole house ready to kill at will. It really isn't necessary.
Setting: Jon and Mikaela's bedroom. Characters: Morgan, Jon, Holly. Jon and I wanted to listen to vinyls and smoke pot so that's what we were doing when Holly came home. She went in her room and then came out and demanded to know what the fuck was going on. After Jon got her to quit yelling, I told her what happened. She, being in the same situation that Nate's in, flips out at me. She told me she wasn't comfortable with me being in the same house and said that Mikaela was right - why didn't I push him off? To which Jon butted in and started defending me and told Holly not to yell at me because I didn't do anything. Jon got pretty mad that she was yelling in his room and told her she could take her shit elsewhere but he wasn't going to have it in his room. So she finished her point and left to go yell at Scott, I imagine.
And maybe I was wrong to tell Holly. At least at the time. I don't know what's going on because I haven't even left my room yet this morning. I could hear Holly and Scott fighting this morning through my wall. I couldn't make out words but the subject was clear. But now I'm going to brave the hallway and go take a shower. I'm sorry this was so long, if you read all this you really didn't have to. It's just here for my reference.