Reality
One of my deepest fears, that I'm just beginning to realize now, is that everything is normal. That in the world, there is nothing beneath the surface. That all those things that we consider supernatural or magical don't exist.. monsters, love, nothing. That this world is inextricably mundane and plain. That we have begun to discover the final answers, and that nothing exists. That we have no point beyond living, that no such thing as fate has a hand over our lives making sure they take the right path. I've begun to realize it recently because my scientific mind is becoming stronger, and the hold that imagination and magic had on my mind is slipping. I am becoming less in the world of the unreal. I feel like I want to latch on and hold onto to the magic there, in case it's all the magic that's left for me.
Part of my that's kind of worried about this, is the part that realizes I'm still trying to hold on. I wonder how much I would cling. How much would I do to keep tight to the feeling that fate is leading the way? That there is something out there, something beyond what I, or rather others, know. Would I give up my livelihood to do it? Would I run off to pursue a dream? Would I steal for it? Would I kill? I'm not quite sure what I'm capable of.. the tightness that I cling to the magic is beyond what I realized was possible. I cling to it as tightly as I hold other things, or as other things are stuck to me. The knowledge is kind of frightening that I am so unwilling to let go such a part of my beliefs.
I'm rather worried about becoming a monster in my own right trying to hold onto the concept of fate, or love. I'm not sure if I'd stop myself from doing terrible things... I'm not sure if I could keep myself sane with all that weighing down on me. I even now can feel the pressure of holding on to the reality I want. I suppose that's a problem too... my unwilling-ness to go with the reality that has come, and that beats me with it's changes and differences. I'm not sure how I'd react to something like that. I'm not sure how I'd want to...
Part of my that's kind of worried about this, is the part that realizes I'm still trying to hold on. I wonder how much I would cling. How much would I do to keep tight to the feeling that fate is leading the way? That there is something out there, something beyond what I, or rather others, know. Would I give up my livelihood to do it? Would I run off to pursue a dream? Would I steal for it? Would I kill? I'm not quite sure what I'm capable of.. the tightness that I cling to the magic is beyond what I realized was possible. I cling to it as tightly as I hold other things, or as other things are stuck to me. The knowledge is kind of frightening that I am so unwilling to let go such a part of my beliefs.
I'm rather worried about becoming a monster in my own right trying to hold onto the concept of fate, or love. I'm not sure if I'd stop myself from doing terrible things... I'm not sure if I could keep myself sane with all that weighing down on me. I even now can feel the pressure of holding on to the reality I want. I suppose that's a problem too... my unwilling-ness to go with the reality that has come, and that beats me with it's changes and differences. I'm not sure how I'd react to something like that. I'm not sure how I'd want to...