Desero
Abandon... both in abandoning others, and in abandoning rules.
Lately, It's been the last few days before University. The grand old school starts in just a couple days now, and well... I suppose I've been trying to get the last blast out of summer. Just doing everything I possibly can and not really thinking about stuff that's not happening then. Now, this isn't too large a jump from my normal personality, only this time it's a bit more... pro-active, in that I almost seek out stuff happening. Unfortunately, this means I've been online very little lately, and it's a situation I fear is not going to change much any time soon. Once school begins, I will not be home for most of the day, being in town from my earliest to my latest class, unless there's a large jump (( Of /plural/ hours )) between my courses. I'll most likely become exceedingly close friends with the library, the sportsplex, and the computer center of the coming term. However, this means that I'll be out of touch more than I'd like.
There are a very small number of people that I have said "I will be there /whenever/ you need me, you only need to get in touch and I'll do my absolute damnedest", or something to the same effect. Now, these few people generally mean a lot to me, and when I say it, I fully intend to be there at their slightest need. It's rather subservient of me, but these are people I care about more than I care about me. Okay, these are people I care about more than I care about much anything else, considering my low self-esteem and all. Now, when I hear that someone, who was one of the people in this group, was trying to get in touch with me, but apparently couldn't, I am immediately set on edge, as I'm a pessimist, and suspect the worst instantly. I feel bad for being out of touch, and well yeah.
Now, School has me worried, as it will make me even more out of touch ((I imagine, anyhow.)). So, I become more worried about keeping my promise to these people, and want to try and make sure I'm available. Unfortunately, I see that hard to come by. There's a small chance I'll have a cell on me permanently, so that may help, but other than that... I worry, and I worry..
Lately, It's been the last few days before University. The grand old school starts in just a couple days now, and well... I suppose I've been trying to get the last blast out of summer. Just doing everything I possibly can and not really thinking about stuff that's not happening then. Now, this isn't too large a jump from my normal personality, only this time it's a bit more... pro-active, in that I almost seek out stuff happening. Unfortunately, this means I've been online very little lately, and it's a situation I fear is not going to change much any time soon. Once school begins, I will not be home for most of the day, being in town from my earliest to my latest class, unless there's a large jump (( Of /plural/ hours )) between my courses. I'll most likely become exceedingly close friends with the library, the sportsplex, and the computer center of the coming term. However, this means that I'll be out of touch more than I'd like.
There are a very small number of people that I have said "I will be there /whenever/ you need me, you only need to get in touch and I'll do my absolute damnedest", or something to the same effect. Now, these few people generally mean a lot to me, and when I say it, I fully intend to be there at their slightest need. It's rather subservient of me, but these are people I care about more than I care about me. Okay, these are people I care about more than I care about much anything else, considering my low self-esteem and all. Now, when I hear that someone, who was one of the people in this group, was trying to get in touch with me, but apparently couldn't, I am immediately set on edge, as I'm a pessimist, and suspect the worst instantly. I feel bad for being out of touch, and well yeah.
Now, School has me worried, as it will make me even more out of touch ((I imagine, anyhow.)). So, I become more worried about keeping my promise to these people, and want to try and make sure I'm available. Unfortunately, I see that hard to come by. There's a small chance I'll have a cell on me permanently, so that may help, but other than that... I worry, and I worry..