(no subject)
Drabble:
I'm lost again.
Caught in a web of my own making
I made it to have no escape.
Can I outsmart myself?
Can I defeat myself?
Can I let myself go?
Is there anything still sacred,
Is there anything still unbroken?
what can I still call on if I'm in need.
This is a closing time for me.
I'm lost again.
Poem
Lieing awake, here in the warmth.
A womb of heat and tears,
A lost child trapped in a place,
that he was never meant to be.
Even from so far away, I can feel you.
Your presence floats around me,
I can't resist the urge to draw it in,
Even with it cutting me as it comes.
My mind drifts, trying to not focus,
focus on the overwhelming pain.
Would you look differently at me?
Would you look down if you knew?
So much I want to do,
So much I wish to say,
So little of the precious time,
and I seem to be wasting it away.
A sound, a single tapping,
something to focus on,
something to listen to,
I draw my attention away.
It doesn't last. The presence,
surrounding and comforting and hurting,
draws back my attention, holding it,
trapping it the more I struggle.
Nothing is decided by the night,
But am I strong to make the right choice,
or any choice at all,
the way I am, so cold and warm?
Nothing is decided by the day,
But can I do what I need to do?
Can I keep awake in the suffocation,
of my entire mind and heart?
Everything is decided by me,
Everything falls to me,
But even if I decide,
Will I ever get a chance to act?