so here's to new starts?
summer is over and i'm back in the dirty d for another semester. this summer has probably been the worst ever, no band, no friends, no fun, no good. the last six weeks have been especially terrible, and i apologize for essentially falling off the face of the earth but it had to be done. some of you may or may not about the whole situation but my aunt jody (my closest relative) was diagnosed with brain cancer this spring after she had survived breast cancer last year. she spent the last six weeks pretty much in a coma in the hospital and she passed away saturday morning. this has been the saddest event of my entire life, and i still don't feel like it's actually final. i was lucky enough to be with her right up until she passed away, and i'm glad that i was able to. Her last words to me were i love you, and the last time that i saw her awake she squeezed my hand to let me know she heard what i was saying, and then drifted off to sleep listening to joni mitchell. for those of you who knew about my relationship with my aunt i'm sure you can understand how devastating this all is for me right now. she was exactally the kind of woman i want to be, strong, caring, giving, tender, beautiful, funny, and a joy. it's just so hard to comprehend right now why we had to lose her, she was only 50 and her youngest daughter is only 13, and is starting high school tomorrow. i can only assume that there has to be some kind of plan, and that this all fits into it somehow. although i am looking forward to starting my school routine again, it's hard to be away from my family right now and it's even harder to try and work out all this grief that i'm carrying around. i really appreciate everyone's kind thoughts and words, it really means a lot. if any of you who knew my aunt are interested, her memorial service will be saturday september 9th sometime in the afternoon (details are still being worked out.) but for now i'm going to finish making my bed in this beautiful new house, and try to wake up tomorrow renewed.