lurker bearing fic!
“Come on, angel, I promise you’ll like it!
“It’s unnatural, a body isn’t supposed to twist like that, and Michael would laugh at me for a millennium if I got discorporated.”
You’re making up excuses, angel.”
“Crowley, I don’t want to.”
“You’ll like it if you try it!”
Aziraphale sighed. It really wasn’t fair of Crowley to pull out all the stops like that; the demon knew just how susceptible he, Aziraphale, was to puppy-dog eyes*. There was no help for it.
He carefully lowered himself down next to the eager demon, who was already sweating with exertion.
“Now, angel, watch me carefully…”
With a grunt and puff of air, Crowley executed a very complicated move which had his friend worrying about the state of his spine. And his ribs. And his sacrum, pelvis and groin, for that matter. The demon held the pose for three breaths, then carefully lowered himself back to the ground.
“Now you try.”
“I don’t believe I bend that way…”
“You can do it, angel. I’ll help. Just push yourself up on your arms, but don’t lock them, get yourself off the floor, and look up.”
Aziraphale followed the instructions, and fell back in a confused pile of arms and legs.
“Maybe you should try something easier first… Let’s see… alright, angel?”
“what, dear?” came a rather plaintive moan from floor level
“Ready to have another go?”
“That’s evil.”
Crowley grinned, yellow eyes slit in enjoyment. “I know. Up you get. Now, get on all fours.” The angel grumpily complied. “Tuck your toes under.” Also obeyed. “Now lift up and back.”
“Lift what up and back?”
Crowley was momentarily flummoxed. “Your, um… saddlery region.”
Aziraphale blushed, but raised his ‘saddlery region’ into the air.
“Keep your toes down. Let your head go. See? It wasn’t that hard. This one’s called Downward Facing Dog.”
“And the other one?”
”Upward Facing Dog.”
”How very original.”
“But don’t you feel more relaxed?”
“Yes…” the angel drew out the sound as her checked himself for damage. Finding none, he looked up at the demon and smiled slightly. “Who on your side came up with it?”
Crowley blinked. “I thought it was your side’s idea.”
“Even Michael isn’t this sadistic.”
“But if it wasn’t yours… and it wasn’t mine… Who’s was it?”
Several thousand miles away and across several dimensions** a bald man holding a broom paused in his sweeping of the Dojo of the Tenth Djim and smiled a small, satisfied smile. Then he resumed his sweeping.
*The puppy-dog eyes (Canis lupus occulus) effect has been proven to act upon a very specialized temporal lobe which temporarily cancels out any sane thought in the brain and renders said brain very amenable to suggestion. Often employed by small children and even smaller dogs.
**Azar, the Gamma Quadrant and The Crossings, since you ask.
feedback, of any kind,is much appreciated! and could someone please tell me if we're supposed to put disclaimers on these?