The Last Stand - Hidden Meanings
A little bit from Aziraphale and Crowley'ss exchange of wedding vows from the book climax that’s kind of kept bothering me. I’m not sure if it’s deliberate or not, but this jumped out at me recently:
“I’d just like to say,” Aziraphale said, “if we don’t get out of this, that… I’ll have known, deep down inside, that there was a spark of goodness in you.”
…
“Just remember I’ll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking.” (-Crowley)
Look very carefully at the difference in phrasing. In Aziraphale’s phrase, the ‘deep down inside’ comes before ‘that’ and makes no sense if it’s referring to the spark of goodness, as in a spark of goodness deep down inside Crowley. If it were, it should’ve been ‘I’ll have known that, deep down inside, there was a spark of goodness in you.’
The phrasing is correct in Crowley’s part below (and it’s appropriate - Aziraphale’s bastard side really is pretty far down inside), but not in Aziraphale’s. Why? Maybe because he isn’t talking about Crowley.
He’s talking about himself. That he has known all along, deep down inside, that Crowley had a spark of goodness in him. And it certainly looks in some parts of the book that he wants to believe in Crowley’s better side despite what he considers his better judgement - but formally he is still very much in the ‘demons evil, Heaven good’ camp for most of the book up till that point.
Aziraphale is essentially apologising for six thousand years of treating Crowley as inherently evil, assuring him that he did know better, deep inside, even if he didn’t always act like it. Setting things straight between them before their expected final battle. Getting the truth out there.
(Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.)
Excellent addendum by iembracetrees:
Crowley said Remember (~don’t forget) - it is like he wanted to indicate, that they both always knew about it.
Yessssssss. It rounds the exchange up to a whole, a mutual admission not only of being Not So Different on the cosmic scale, but of knowing each other all along better than they were willing to admit, of meaning more to each other than they were willing to acknowledge until then. A formal confession of how much the Arrangement has actually meant to them, far more than a ‘tacit agreement of non-interference.’ It is the ultimate ‘things left unsaid being said’ exchange (although in a way that still involves those things not being explicitly said, the sly bastards).
“I’d just like to say,” Aziraphale said, “if we don’t get out of this, that… I’ll have known, deep down inside, that there was a spark of goodness in you.”
…
“Just remember I’ll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking.” (-Crowley)
Look very carefully at the difference in phrasing. In Aziraphale’s phrase, the ‘deep down inside’ comes before ‘that’ and makes no sense if it’s referring to the spark of goodness, as in a spark of goodness deep down inside Crowley. If it were, it should’ve been ‘I’ll have known that, deep down inside, there was a spark of goodness in you.’
The phrasing is correct in Crowley’s part below (and it’s appropriate - Aziraphale’s bastard side really is pretty far down inside), but not in Aziraphale’s. Why? Maybe because he isn’t talking about Crowley.
He’s talking about himself. That he has known all along, deep down inside, that Crowley had a spark of goodness in him. And it certainly looks in some parts of the book that he wants to believe in Crowley’s better side despite what he considers his better judgement - but formally he is still very much in the ‘demons evil, Heaven good’ camp for most of the book up till that point.
Aziraphale is essentially apologising for six thousand years of treating Crowley as inherently evil, assuring him that he did know better, deep inside, even if he didn’t always act like it. Setting things straight between them before their expected final battle. Getting the truth out there.
(Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.)
Excellent addendum by iembracetrees:
Crowley said Remember (~don’t forget) - it is like he wanted to indicate, that they both always knew about it.
Yessssssss. It rounds the exchange up to a whole, a mutual admission not only of being Not So Different on the cosmic scale, but of knowing each other all along better than they were willing to admit, of meaning more to each other than they were willing to acknowledge until then. A formal confession of how much the Arrangement has actually meant to them, far more than a ‘tacit agreement of non-interference.’ It is the ultimate ‘things left unsaid being said’ exchange (although in a way that still involves those things not being explicitly said, the sly bastards).