(no subject)
I just can't help but seem to have a knack for finding depressed people. I'd been doing good, had managed to avoid people bitching at me for crap I haven't done, or whatever other drama I normally get by the boatload, and lo and behold, person A (names are useless for this) decides not only to insult me...but to go out of their way to do it. I move out of their way; give reasons for what they say I've done and then simply leave them alone.
And then they keep doing it. Bitch at me for not talking to them, and then, to boot, go out of their way to insult me. There's a difference between moody and doing it on purpose, this is above and beyond intentional. Why must I be someone else's Satan all the time? Why does anyone *need* to have some Satan figure they can insult and bash? The joys of the block list, I've already added them to it, but it still bothers me. I only wish I could hate people the same as everyone else and just get it over with. It'd be so much easier than this constant state of bleeding heart martyrdom, where I can't hate anyone and to save the image of them in my mind, I'll always put myself down. I want to be able to say "fuck it. You're an asshole, not me." or "yes, I'm attractive. No, you're not." Instead, I hate noone and always listen.
The All That Remains concert is tomorrow; technically it will be the first major metal show i've ever been to, so it'll be..interesting. Hopefully james can go, because im not looking forward to being stuck with eric and hannah and me for hours on end. eric wants to get there at fucking 6 so we can get in the front row, which i dont have a problem with, it's just the 'more time around them alone' part.
And then they keep doing it. Bitch at me for not talking to them, and then, to boot, go out of their way to insult me. There's a difference between moody and doing it on purpose, this is above and beyond intentional. Why must I be someone else's Satan all the time? Why does anyone *need* to have some Satan figure they can insult and bash? The joys of the block list, I've already added them to it, but it still bothers me. I only wish I could hate people the same as everyone else and just get it over with. It'd be so much easier than this constant state of bleeding heart martyrdom, where I can't hate anyone and to save the image of them in my mind, I'll always put myself down. I want to be able to say "fuck it. You're an asshole, not me." or "yes, I'm attractive. No, you're not." Instead, I hate noone and always listen.
The All That Remains concert is tomorrow; technically it will be the first major metal show i've ever been to, so it'll be..interesting. Hopefully james can go, because im not looking forward to being stuck with eric and hannah and me for hours on end. eric wants to get there at fucking 6 so we can get in the front row, which i dont have a problem with, it's just the 'more time around them alone' part.