It's a quarter to three. Actually, make that ten 'til.
And I am severely :[ frownyface at the prospect of leaving Houston today. I'm not going to get to say a proper goodbye to my dad because he has to work, and I'm not going to get to cry to myself because I'll be riding with Lauren. Who I had a fight with tonight, because she thinks she's an adult and I don't. We have very differing ideas on what an adult is, and suffice to say she does not fit my criteria, but if she thinks she's an adult it's none of my business.
Gah. Fuck. I guess this was a danger of having her come on Sunday and spend the whole week here. I love her but in large doses... I can't handle most of my friends for days on end.
A brief livejournal critique: there should be a mood for 'upset.' I'm just sayin'. (P.S. Seeing my Ten+Donna moodtheme is reminding me that A) I have yet to watch The End Of Time -which taunts/lures me with it's siren song on my laptop- and B) I will no longer be seeing David Tennant's bright shining face as the Doctor anymore. More sadness.)
Mostly I think it's just me feeling like this break was too short. Although I caught up with a lot of people, I didn't get to see LIz this week. ANd I'm pretty sure I missed seeing Zach one last time (and he was talking shenanigans on Fbook like he wasn't going to be in H-town this summer and that makes me really frownyface) and the RP I was involved in is slowly devolving and it's all very... blah, for me right now. I guess. (Kate, Tina, please do not read any blame/bitterness/what-have-you out of that. I know we're still playing and all that, but an official shut-down for me was simply... ill-timed, I guess. )
I chickened out about going to see Grandpa's grave. Which mean I won't until summer, because I'm pretty much spending my entire Spring Break in Boston and not coming home at all until May, after school is out. And that just feels like a really god damn long time. Longer than not getting home from August until Thanksgiving, and that was fucking unbearable.
I'm just dwelling on the fact that I go back to work on Saturday and I have to go through mind-numbing training all fucking over again and I don't want to be an RA anymore. But I committed to a year and I would never quit in the middle of a job (nor would my father let me). So the prospect of going back to a job that is only made better by my co-workers and not the actual work (on top of class) is less than appealing. Not to mention I feel like I'm drifting from those friends I want to be friends with most and I think this is my winter blues catching up to me again like they do every year.
(Uh, oh. This feels like one of my quasi-cathartic, rambling, ranting, screaming, kicking, crying, winding, ranting posts. I'm going to stop before I get started because I A) don't have time for this and B) it never really makes me feel that much better.)
I'm tired. And I'm still not quite done packing up for tomorrow. And I really didn't want to be exhausted when I got back to school and that irritatingly persistent notion called reality. But I am.
Goodbye, Houston. Hello, Baton Rouge.
P.S. It's fucking freezing outside (relative to a Southerner's temperament), and I've added another resolution: finish at least one fic per week. I have a hard-drive full of unfinished things, not to mention my *cough*pitofvoles*cough* account that has a few worthwhile fics languishing away. If I want to be a writer, I need to be writing. Even if it is Rachel/Quinn Glee femslash playing in someone else's sandbox. At least it'll be a start (and a start on completing things, which is key).
Gah. Fuck. I guess this was a danger of having her come on Sunday and spend the whole week here. I love her but in large doses... I can't handle most of my friends for days on end.
A brief livejournal critique: there should be a mood for 'upset.' I'm just sayin'. (P.S. Seeing my Ten+Donna moodtheme is reminding me that A) I have yet to watch The End Of Time -which taunts/lures me with it's siren song on my laptop- and B) I will no longer be seeing David Tennant's bright shining face as the Doctor anymore. More sadness.)
Mostly I think it's just me feeling like this break was too short. Although I caught up with a lot of people, I didn't get to see LIz this week. ANd I'm pretty sure I missed seeing Zach one last time (and he was talking shenanigans on Fbook like he wasn't going to be in H-town this summer and that makes me really frownyface) and the RP I was involved in is slowly devolving and it's all very... blah, for me right now. I guess. (Kate, Tina, please do not read any blame/bitterness/what-have-you out of that. I know we're still playing and all that, but an official shut-down for me was simply... ill-timed, I guess. )
I chickened out about going to see Grandpa's grave. Which mean I won't until summer, because I'm pretty much spending my entire Spring Break in Boston and not coming home at all until May, after school is out. And that just feels like a really god damn long time. Longer than not getting home from August until Thanksgiving, and that was fucking unbearable.
I'm just dwelling on the fact that I go back to work on Saturday and I have to go through mind-numbing training all fucking over again and I don't want to be an RA anymore. But I committed to a year and I would never quit in the middle of a job (nor would my father let me). So the prospect of going back to a job that is only made better by my co-workers and not the actual work (on top of class) is less than appealing. Not to mention I feel like I'm drifting from those friends I want to be friends with most and I think this is my winter blues catching up to me again like they do every year.
(Uh, oh. This feels like one of my quasi-cathartic, rambling, ranting, screaming, kicking, crying, winding, ranting posts. I'm going to stop before I get started because I A) don't have time for this and B) it never really makes me feel that much better.)
I'm tired. And I'm still not quite done packing up for tomorrow. And I really didn't want to be exhausted when I got back to school and that irritatingly persistent notion called reality. But I am.
Goodbye, Houston. Hello, Baton Rouge.
P.S. It's fucking freezing outside (relative to a Southerner's temperament), and I've added another resolution: finish at least one fic per week. I have a hard-drive full of unfinished things, not to mention my *cough*pitofvoles*cough* account that has a few worthwhile fics languishing away. If I want to be a writer, I need to be writing. Even if it is Rachel/Quinn Glee femslash playing in someone else's sandbox. At least it'll be a start (and a start on completing things, which is key).