Bride of Chaotica!; black and white film, dramatic!Kathy and holodeck shenanigans
Now I've watched Torchwood, and it's time for one of the best fucking episodes of Voyager ever because it's like a crazy goofy mind trip and everybody wins because Kathy plays in the holodeck; oh yeah, that's right, it's time for fucking BRIDE OF CHAOTICA! BITCHES.
Tom and Harry screwing around in the holodeck with frivolous amusements (as Seven would call it) of the 21st century trying to pass them off as educational historical study will never not be funny.
LOL Seven. Kathy and B'Elanna being sarcastic with her FTW.
"And we will rain destruction on the fifth dimension!" *DRAMATIC FLOURISH, cue girly squeal of terror* Oh, Chaotica.
Janeway enters the messhall with a singleminded stride usually reserved for tense command situations and beelines (or rather, I-lines) for Neelix behind the counter. "Coffee, black."
"Oh, Captain. We lost two replicators today, and we don't have too many rations left--"
Stops Neelix, places her hands on his shoulders and has a very serious, very "don't fuck with me right now" look stamped across her forehead. "Listen to me very carefully because I'll only say this once. Coffee. Black."
Neelix hurriedly replicates her a cup. "Now, Captain--"
"Coffee first." *Kathy sips, shifts her shoulders minutely (surely feeling slightly more human). "What is it, Neelix?"
One of my favorite. Scenes. EVER. (And not because it totally makes Kathy/Jack love irrepressibly possible.)
"One of the holodecks is in use." "Which program is it running?" "Captain Proton." Tom suddenly looks up guiltily, and Kathy gives him the mom look that is clearly code for 'Didn't I tell you to put up your toys when you were done playing with them?!'
Oh, Tuvok. He is so not happy to be traipsing around the Proton simulation ith Tom babbling about transistors and trusting days without locks on rocket ship doors and such. His usual approach is useless there!
HAI SEV. It's so nice to see her in A) the blue catsuit (mmmmmmmmmm) and B) Astrometrics, aka her domain.
"It seems this infantile amusement has become a shipwide threat." Harry of course defends their 'harmless fun.'
*derisive noise* "Fun. Frivolous human endeavour"-- I was right! Seven, I love you so.
"Yes ma'am. His army of evil."
KATHY CAN BARELY KEEP HER FACE STRAIGHT. CHAKOTAY CERTAINLY CAN'T. Tom is taking it so seriously. Tuvok thinks all of this is bullshit. LOLZY!Chakotay is LOLZY.
Seven plays along.
Arachnia. Queen of the spider people.
Charming.
GIGGLES< she giggles.
THEN HER SRS FACE.
Who'd ya have in mind?
Sev is like no
OH NO
I LOVE YOU
"Captain, need I remind you, we have exhausted all other possiblities." She looks back with hope, because it is the voice of reason, Tuvok speaking. AND THEN HE BETRAYS HER, AND HER FACE IS SO ANGRY.
There is absolutely no way they made it through this scene without breaking out into gales of laughter several times. I WANT OUTTAKES AND BLOOPERS OF THIS, DAMMIT. Seriously, Robert Beltran is having fucking gigglefits over in the corner by Jeri, and meanwhile, Tim is having to play a mildly angry Vulcan. Robbie is attempting to be RLY RLY SRS about all this and he has to look into Kate's disbelieving-almost-laughing face and THEN Kate has to pretty much laugh, and then get it together.
the walk through. FOR GRATE LOLZ.
grandiose language
KATHY'S FACE.
SO
it's so
WTF
AHHHH
terse nods. okay. got it. "It's the holodeck, I can't be hurt by weapons."
"That doesn't mean you can't be restraiend, or thrown in the dungeon of pain." Such a look.
SPecs for arachnia's costume
"You can always uncork the pheremones." That brings her up short.
"I beg your pardon." PRUDE. SHE'S SEKRITLY A PRUDE.
She frowns again at the specs.
"I'll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you're the queen!" You're damn right, Tom.
AHHHH I FOUND TRANSCRIPTS YESSSSSS
Because the dialogue is what MAKES thies episode -- THAT AND MOTHER FUCKING KATE BEING A GQ MOTHER FUCKING CAPTAIN IN THAT GQMF DRESS HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE IS SO HOT WHYYYYY
Kate was made for high drama. Like, fake, high drama. I LOVE HER SOOOOOO.
"I've always admired your..." Kathy briefly shows through. "... clever fiendishness."
Cradle
Kathy uses that low, gravelly voice a lot. Throaty. As Eartha Kitt would say. Growwwwl.
Sits in the throne. "Somehow I feel comfortable here," in her regular Kathy voice. "We can't be slaves to our passion."
SPIDER SHIPS. THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT, KATHY. THAT'S TERRIBLE IMPROVISATION. I'M JUST SAYIN'.
"You don't trust me." Oh, she seems so hurt.
But first be my queen. WHUT. She seemed to say with her eyes. "Uh. Okay? BUT LOWER THE LIGHTNINSHIELD, KTHX. So, uh, we can have guests at the wedding."
LOL DOCTOR. President of Earth. B'Elanna was so *eyeroll* at him. "What are you going as, Emperor of the Universe?"
"Isn't any one going to sing Hail To The Chief?" "Mr. President, how'd it go?" Harry, you're like the ultimate appeaser. "My performance was unimpeachable."
COMMAND PERFORMANCE INDEED.
"Impetuous harlot!" Nobody calls Janeway that without
"HA! You're no match for Arachnia!" Kathy was really getting into it there for a second.
Bridge!B'Elanna! :D Except it's only to say that Voyager is in serious shit.
HOW HIGH DOES THAT SLIT GO, KATHY, HMMMM??
Appropriate icon is appropriate:
(credit
2cl .)
*whip crack* You are enjoying yourself, Kathy. I know you are.
Thoughtful Kathy is thoughtful. AND SO TINY.
"He doesn't give up, does he?" I love the tone of her voice. AND THE VIOLINS. And the laugh over the The End turning into a question mark. Classic.
LIKE THE WHOLE EPISODE.
And now, for some appropriate icons.
credit:
kiki_fan187 ~
kiki_fan187 ~ madzilla_icons ~ lemonrocket
Tom and Harry screwing around in the holodeck with frivolous amusements (as Seven would call it) of the 21st century trying to pass them off as educational historical study will never not be funny.
LOL Seven. Kathy and B'Elanna being sarcastic with her FTW.
"And we will rain destruction on the fifth dimension!" *DRAMATIC FLOURISH, cue girly squeal of terror* Oh, Chaotica.
Janeway enters the messhall with a singleminded stride usually reserved for tense command situations and beelines (or rather, I-lines) for Neelix behind the counter. "Coffee, black."
"Oh, Captain. We lost two replicators today, and we don't have too many rations left--"
Stops Neelix, places her hands on his shoulders and has a very serious, very "don't fuck with me right now" look stamped across her forehead. "Listen to me very carefully because I'll only say this once. Coffee. Black."
Neelix hurriedly replicates her a cup. "Now, Captain--"
"Coffee first." *Kathy sips, shifts her shoulders minutely (surely feeling slightly more human). "What is it, Neelix?"
One of my favorite. Scenes. EVER. (And not because it totally makes Kathy/Jack love irrepressibly possible.)
"One of the holodecks is in use." "Which program is it running?" "Captain Proton." Tom suddenly looks up guiltily, and Kathy gives him the mom look that is clearly code for 'Didn't I tell you to put up your toys when you were done playing with them?!'
Oh, Tuvok. He is so not happy to be traipsing around the Proton simulation ith Tom babbling about transistors and trusting days without locks on rocket ship doors and such. His usual approach is useless there!
HAI SEV. It's so nice to see her in A) the blue catsuit (mmmmmmmmmm) and B) Astrometrics, aka her domain.
"It seems this infantile amusement has become a shipwide threat." Harry of course defends their 'harmless fun.'
*derisive noise* "Fun. Frivolous human endeavour"-- I was right! Seven, I love you so.
"Yes ma'am. His army of evil."
KATHY CAN BARELY KEEP HER FACE STRAIGHT. CHAKOTAY CERTAINLY CAN'T. Tom is taking it so seriously. Tuvok thinks all of this is bullshit. LOLZY!Chakotay is LOLZY.
Seven plays along.
Arachnia. Queen of the spider people.
Charming.
GIGGLES< she giggles.
THEN HER SRS FACE.
Who'd ya have in mind?
Sev is like no
OH NO
I LOVE YOU
"Captain, need I remind you, we have exhausted all other possiblities." She looks back with hope, because it is the voice of reason, Tuvok speaking. AND THEN HE BETRAYS HER, AND HER FACE IS SO ANGRY.
There is absolutely no way they made it through this scene without breaking out into gales of laughter several times. I WANT OUTTAKES AND BLOOPERS OF THIS, DAMMIT. Seriously, Robert Beltran is having fucking gigglefits over in the corner by Jeri, and meanwhile, Tim is having to play a mildly angry Vulcan. Robbie is attempting to be RLY RLY SRS about all this and he has to look into Kate's disbelieving-almost-laughing face and THEN Kate has to pretty much laugh, and then get it together.
the walk through. FOR GRATE LOLZ.
grandiose language
KATHY'S FACE.
SO
it's so
WTF
AHHHH
terse nods. okay. got it. "It's the holodeck, I can't be hurt by weapons."
"That doesn't mean you can't be restraiend, or thrown in the dungeon of pain." Such a look.
SPecs for arachnia's costume
"You can always uncork the pheremones." That brings her up short.
"I beg your pardon." PRUDE. SHE'S SEKRITLY A PRUDE.
She frowns again at the specs.
"I'll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you're the queen!" You're damn right, Tom.
AHHHH I FOUND TRANSCRIPTS YESSSSSS
Because the dialogue is what MAKES thies episode -- THAT AND MOTHER FUCKING KATE BEING A GQ MOTHER FUCKING CAPTAIN IN THAT GQMF DRESS HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE IS SO HOT WHYYYYY
Kate was made for high drama. Like, fake, high drama. I LOVE HER SOOOOOO.
"I've always admired your..." Kathy briefly shows through. "... clever fiendishness."
Cradle
Kathy uses that low, gravelly voice a lot. Throaty. As Eartha Kitt would say. Growwwwl.
Sits in the throne. "Somehow I feel comfortable here," in her regular Kathy voice. "We can't be slaves to our passion."
SPIDER SHIPS. THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT, KATHY. THAT'S TERRIBLE IMPROVISATION. I'M JUST SAYIN'.
"You don't trust me." Oh, she seems so hurt.
But first be my queen. WHUT. She seemed to say with her eyes. "Uh. Okay? BUT LOWER THE LIGHTNINSHIELD, KTHX. So, uh, we can have guests at the wedding."
LOL DOCTOR. President of Earth. B'Elanna was so *eyeroll* at him. "What are you going as, Emperor of the Universe?"
"Isn't any one going to sing Hail To The Chief?" "Mr. President, how'd it go?" Harry, you're like the ultimate appeaser. "My performance was unimpeachable."
COMMAND PERFORMANCE INDEED.
"Impetuous harlot!" Nobody calls Janeway that without
"HA! You're no match for Arachnia!" Kathy was really getting into it there for a second.
Bridge!B'Elanna! :D Except it's only to say that Voyager is in serious shit.
HOW HIGH DOES THAT SLIT GO, KATHY, HMMMM??
Appropriate icon is appropriate:
(credit
2cl .)
*whip crack* You are enjoying yourself, Kathy. I know you are.
Thoughtful Kathy is thoughtful. AND SO TINY.
"He doesn't give up, does he?" I love the tone of her voice. AND THE VIOLINS. And the laugh over the The End turning into a question mark. Classic.
LIKE THE WHOLE EPISODE.
And now, for some appropriate icons.
credit:
kiki_fan187 ~
kiki_fan187 ~ madzilla_icons ~ lemonrocket