that was a lot of freaking writing.
p. 181-183
"I kind of feel like a dork writing about myself like this as if I were an American pop-rock Icon-demi God, or self confessed product of corporate-packaged-rebellion, but Ive heard so many insanely exhaggerated stories or reports from my friends and Ive read so many pathetic second rate, freudian evaluations from interviews from my childhood up until present state of my personality and how Im notoriously fucked up Heroin addict, alcoholic, self destructive, yet overtly sensitive, frail, fragile, soft spoken, a narcoleptic, neurotic little piss ant who at any minute is going to O.D. Jump off a roof wig out. Blow my head off or all 3 at once. Oh Geez Gawd I cant handle the success! the success! and I feel so incredibly GUILTY! for abandoning my true comrads who were the ones who are devoted into us a few years ago. And in 10 years when Nirvana becomes as memorable as kaga goo goo, that same, very small percent will come to see us at reunion gigs sponsored by Depends diapers, bald fat, still trying to RAWK. At amusment parks, Saturday puppet shows, Rollercoaster & Nirvana.
After all the hype and oogling over us this past year I've come to conclusions,
1:we've made a way better commercial record than poison.
2:there are quadruple the amount of Bad Rock journalists than there are bad rock bands.
Well for those of you who are concerned with my present physical and mental state. I am not gay Although I wish I were, just to piss off Homophobes.
I am not a junkie.
Ive had a rather unconclusive and uncomfortable stomach condition for the past 3 years which by the way is not related to stress which also means it is not an ulcer. because there is no pattern to the burning, nauseous pain in my upper abdominal cavity. I never know when it will happen, I can be at home in the most relaxed atmosphere sipping natural spring water, no stress, no fuss, and then WHAM! like a shot gun: Stomach Time, then I can play 100 live performances in a row guzzle Boric Acid and do a zillion television interviews and not even burp. This has left doctors with no ideas except the usual: her Kurt try another peptic ulcer pill and lets jam this fibre optric tube (called an endoscope) with a video camara in it down your throat. For the 3rd time and see whats going on in there again. Yep, your in pain..your stomach is extremely inflamed and red. Alright try eating ice cream from now on. Please lord....fuck hit records just let me have my very own unexplainable rare stomach disease named after me and the title of our next double album. "Cobain Disease" A rock opera which is all about vomiting gastric juices being a borderline Annorexic Auzhauitz-Grunge-Boy. And with it an accomaniving endoscope Home-video.
So after protein drinks and becoming a vegetarian, excercise, stopping smoking and doctor after doctor I decided to relieve my pain with small doses of Heroin for a walloping 3 whole weeks. I served as a band-aid for awhile but then the pain came back so I quit. It was a stupid thing to do and I'll never do it again and I feel real sorry for anyone who thinks they can use heroin as a medicine because um, duh it dont work. drug withdrawl is everything youve heard, you puke, you falial around, you sweat, you shit your bed just like that movie Christian F.
It's evil. Leave it alone.
-Kurt Cobain
"I kind of feel like a dork writing about myself like this as if I were an American pop-rock Icon-demi God, or self confessed product of corporate-packaged-rebellion, but Ive heard so many insanely exhaggerated stories or reports from my friends and Ive read so many pathetic second rate, freudian evaluations from interviews from my childhood up until present state of my personality and how Im notoriously fucked up Heroin addict, alcoholic, self destructive, yet overtly sensitive, frail, fragile, soft spoken, a narcoleptic, neurotic little piss ant who at any minute is going to O.D. Jump off a roof wig out. Blow my head off or all 3 at once. Oh Geez Gawd I cant handle the success! the success! and I feel so incredibly GUILTY! for abandoning my true comrads who were the ones who are devoted into us a few years ago. And in 10 years when Nirvana becomes as memorable as kaga goo goo, that same, very small percent will come to see us at reunion gigs sponsored by Depends diapers, bald fat, still trying to RAWK. At amusment parks, Saturday puppet shows, Rollercoaster & Nirvana.
After all the hype and oogling over us this past year I've come to conclusions,
1:we've made a way better commercial record than poison.
2:there are quadruple the amount of Bad Rock journalists than there are bad rock bands.
Well for those of you who are concerned with my present physical and mental state. I am not gay Although I wish I were, just to piss off Homophobes.
I am not a junkie.
Ive had a rather unconclusive and uncomfortable stomach condition for the past 3 years which by the way is not related to stress which also means it is not an ulcer. because there is no pattern to the burning, nauseous pain in my upper abdominal cavity. I never know when it will happen, I can be at home in the most relaxed atmosphere sipping natural spring water, no stress, no fuss, and then WHAM! like a shot gun: Stomach Time, then I can play 100 live performances in a row guzzle Boric Acid and do a zillion television interviews and not even burp. This has left doctors with no ideas except the usual: her Kurt try another peptic ulcer pill and lets jam this fibre optric tube (called an endoscope) with a video camara in it down your throat. For the 3rd time and see whats going on in there again. Yep, your in pain..your stomach is extremely inflamed and red. Alright try eating ice cream from now on. Please lord....fuck hit records just let me have my very own unexplainable rare stomach disease named after me and the title of our next double album. "Cobain Disease" A rock opera which is all about vomiting gastric juices being a borderline Annorexic Auzhauitz-Grunge-Boy. And with it an accomaniving endoscope Home-video.
So after protein drinks and becoming a vegetarian, excercise, stopping smoking and doctor after doctor I decided to relieve my pain with small doses of Heroin for a walloping 3 whole weeks. I served as a band-aid for awhile but then the pain came back so I quit. It was a stupid thing to do and I'll never do it again and I feel real sorry for anyone who thinks they can use heroin as a medicine because um, duh it dont work. drug withdrawl is everything youve heard, you puke, you falial around, you sweat, you shit your bed just like that movie Christian F.
It's evil. Leave it alone.
-Kurt Cobain