(no subject)
I am so drained and I don't know why. Jeff and I started working with our fins, snorkel and mask yesterday in the diving well to work on me clearing my ears. I am finally able to get my ears to clear and looking forward to diving next month.
I am supposed to be working on my bible study for tonight and I just feel out of it, I have been doing everything but preparing. Some how I think that it is the devil because we had such a good time last week.
My head is so full of thoughts my nights haven't been renewing like they should be and I woke up at 3:30am with a migraine last night. I don't feel nervous about my interview with the pastor and interviewing committee tomorrow night but some how I think that I am lying to myself. A huge part of me is afraid that I don't even have a chance at the children's pastor position and the smaller part of me sees no reason not to believe that is where God wants me. All I know is that the best person needs to be put in the position and if that is not me then that is fine- but is it? I keep praying that if it is God's will then open the doors and if not give me a peace about it. I trust that God will do what is best for me and for the children and I know that he will give me peace if I am not to be in that position, but I am afraid that I won't let God give me that peace. I also know that if I do get the position that life in the Brown household will change, Jeff is excited to help and I pray that neither one of us will get so stressed that we forget why I am the children's pastor.
There is more going on in my head but I can't figure it out in words right now...
I am supposed to be working on my bible study for tonight and I just feel out of it, I have been doing everything but preparing. Some how I think that it is the devil because we had such a good time last week.
My head is so full of thoughts my nights haven't been renewing like they should be and I woke up at 3:30am with a migraine last night. I don't feel nervous about my interview with the pastor and interviewing committee tomorrow night but some how I think that I am lying to myself. A huge part of me is afraid that I don't even have a chance at the children's pastor position and the smaller part of me sees no reason not to believe that is where God wants me. All I know is that the best person needs to be put in the position and if that is not me then that is fine- but is it? I keep praying that if it is God's will then open the doors and if not give me a peace about it. I trust that God will do what is best for me and for the children and I know that he will give me peace if I am not to be in that position, but I am afraid that I won't let God give me that peace. I also know that if I do get the position that life in the Brown household will change, Jeff is excited to help and I pray that neither one of us will get so stressed that we forget why I am the children's pastor.
There is more going on in my head but I can't figure it out in words right now...