People dont realize the pain they can conflict
Ever had a moment in your life...that you wish to scream sooooo loud...so very loud....just to get out the anger and frustration...that consume your inside so much...that it actually feel like a heavy anchor. Your pit of the stomach feel like a knot...twisting itself around..and each time it's twisting, you can actual feel it gettin tighter and tighter. It's like being thrown in the midst of an ocean...take your pick...weather the pacific or the atlantic...either way, you are thrown in the middle of nowhere....and you realize....you have no life jacket, therefore you begin to tread water like a dog....the faster you paddle and kick with your legs...the more...you feel yourself being swollow by the dark sea....your lungs are about to burst, trying to breath each time you come up for air....yet, its not enough to give you the strenght to come up for another pocket of air. Pretty soon you know the fight is about to fold, Cos now your mind say,,,"Whats the use, let me die, and get it over and done with".
I"m sick and tired, of the things that's been happening in my life. I mean come on, how much can a person put up with.....so i ask myself...."Does it pay to be nice". right now the way i see it...it's not worth the ounce of energy to be nice....
Granted i do have nice things that has happens in my lifre...however....the bad things....seem to over come the goodness of it all. This is a time in my life...that i wish to be in a Bear's cage...and hibernated til i'm ready to come out....surely not for food like the bears do....more like....hibernation til i'm able to withstand the latches in my life.
I can feel the anger, desperation, aggravation, fill my soul like a river over flowing. a rapid river, with out any control...searching for that water fall....just so that it can calm its destruction.
yup, that would be me, a ticking time bomb ready to exploid..
I have open my heart to so many things in life. and for what?...it was mearly an open invitation, for pain. People, face you with this smile, to the point...one believe their sincerity....yet, i'm so blinded by whats lied behind it all. I so much wanted to believe, that words of kindness, are real and true. But all it is....is lies....one behind the other. It is so hard to be honest for once in their life?
I came to the conclusion, that i rather keep the steel walls surrounding my heart. This way, no one will ever have a clear shot at it. Cos to be honest....i'm sick and tired of picking up the pieces....I'm sick and tired of fighting back tears.
I"m sick and tired, of the things that's been happening in my life. I mean come on, how much can a person put up with.....so i ask myself...."Does it pay to be nice". right now the way i see it...it's not worth the ounce of energy to be nice....
Granted i do have nice things that has happens in my lifre...however....the bad things....seem to over come the goodness of it all. This is a time in my life...that i wish to be in a Bear's cage...and hibernated til i'm ready to come out....surely not for food like the bears do....more like....hibernation til i'm able to withstand the latches in my life.
I can feel the anger, desperation, aggravation, fill my soul like a river over flowing. a rapid river, with out any control...searching for that water fall....just so that it can calm its destruction.
yup, that would be me, a ticking time bomb ready to exploid..
I have open my heart to so many things in life. and for what?...it was mearly an open invitation, for pain. People, face you with this smile, to the point...one believe their sincerity....yet, i'm so blinded by whats lied behind it all. I so much wanted to believe, that words of kindness, are real and true. But all it is....is lies....one behind the other. It is so hard to be honest for once in their life?
I came to the conclusion, that i rather keep the steel walls surrounding my heart. This way, no one will ever have a clear shot at it. Cos to be honest....i'm sick and tired of picking up the pieces....I'm sick and tired of fighting back tears.