I've been stretched to the limits...But its all right now
Ill start off by saying that this past week has been a very hard one, but hopefully now things will get better.
i know some may not want to read this, but this is my journal and I need to get this out...so here it is
So I have had some or more like alot, of breakdowns, some phyciatrist visits, and some tears in the past year. This week, Ive had a TON of it. This has been, I can say one of the hardest weeks of my life...def. one of the most emotional. This week-I finally came to the understanding that I have a problem, one that I can not help. A problem so big that I cant even be myself. I cant even enjoy life as it is, I always feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulder pushing me down. It is like I have a GIANT wall in front of me, holding me back from allowing me to be the person I truly know I am. Yes I am okay sometimes, but theres definately a TON of moments where I just breakdown, and become out of control for stupid reasons. After last night I knew I had to start to deal with it, and get help...
Tonight is hopefully the start of a new beginning. Tonight is going to be the start of me being able to enjoy life and all of the things that come with it. I got medicine for depression today. I am not afraid to tell people this, because I am honest and could care less about what people think about me. But part of coming out and saying it, is part of me being able to deal with it and come face to face with it and start fighting it. I dont want to feel stupid, I dont want to feel crazy, I dont want to think that Im some freak...Im just me, and hopefully I can be me all the time now...
Im excited, happy, and releived. I am going to take this medicine called prozac, probably for the rest of my life. I dont care how long I have to take it, as long as I can be happy, because thats all I want. I dont want my loved ones to have to worry about me or my physical state anymore....at all.
~ So hopefully this is a new beginning for me.I can not wait to see how life is now...you just dont know ~
After what happened last night, and my family/boyfriend really seeing that I have a problem that I really cant help,things changed. My dad apologized for always being so hard on me, and my mom & dad decided to give me the next two weeks of work off and take me to myrtle beach with them tomorrow afternoon. They said I need to relax and just take some time off. I am really happy to go spend 5 1/2 days with my family and just relax on the beach. Im going to miss ryan, but I think this time will be good for me....really good. My dad is flying me home thursday morning into dulles so that I can goto ryans and leave with him and his dad on friday morning for Florida....and for once in my life I can actually say that I am truly truly feeling good about things and the future. Im really looking forward to the time off and being able to just be Kristen.....
Tonight ryan,my mom,my brother,callie and I went shopping at the mall. We all got new clothes-so that was a plus to my already "up" day....
I leave tomorrow at 5....Ill be back thursday morning....
<3<3 i love you ryan brice sells...thank you for always being there for me...<3<3
i know some may not want to read this, but this is my journal and I need to get this out...so here it is
So I have had some or more like alot, of breakdowns, some phyciatrist visits, and some tears in the past year. This week, Ive had a TON of it. This has been, I can say one of the hardest weeks of my life...def. one of the most emotional. This week-I finally came to the understanding that I have a problem, one that I can not help. A problem so big that I cant even be myself. I cant even enjoy life as it is, I always feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulder pushing me down. It is like I have a GIANT wall in front of me, holding me back from allowing me to be the person I truly know I am. Yes I am okay sometimes, but theres definately a TON of moments where I just breakdown, and become out of control for stupid reasons. After last night I knew I had to start to deal with it, and get help...
Tonight is hopefully the start of a new beginning. Tonight is going to be the start of me being able to enjoy life and all of the things that come with it. I got medicine for depression today. I am not afraid to tell people this, because I am honest and could care less about what people think about me. But part of coming out and saying it, is part of me being able to deal with it and come face to face with it and start fighting it. I dont want to feel stupid, I dont want to feel crazy, I dont want to think that Im some freak...Im just me, and hopefully I can be me all the time now...
Im excited, happy, and releived. I am going to take this medicine called prozac, probably for the rest of my life. I dont care how long I have to take it, as long as I can be happy, because thats all I want. I dont want my loved ones to have to worry about me or my physical state anymore....at all.
~ So hopefully this is a new beginning for me.I can not wait to see how life is now...you just dont know ~
After what happened last night, and my family/boyfriend really seeing that I have a problem that I really cant help,things changed. My dad apologized for always being so hard on me, and my mom & dad decided to give me the next two weeks of work off and take me to myrtle beach with them tomorrow afternoon. They said I need to relax and just take some time off. I am really happy to go spend 5 1/2 days with my family and just relax on the beach. Im going to miss ryan, but I think this time will be good for me....really good. My dad is flying me home thursday morning into dulles so that I can goto ryans and leave with him and his dad on friday morning for Florida....and for once in my life I can actually say that I am truly truly feeling good about things and the future. Im really looking forward to the time off and being able to just be Kristen.....
Tonight ryan,my mom,my brother,callie and I went shopping at the mall. We all got new clothes-so that was a plus to my already "up" day....
I leave tomorrow at 5....Ill be back thursday morning....
<3<3 i love you ryan brice sells...thank you for always being there for me...<3<3