(no subject)

[lovingprose]

remembered, today,
when I wrecked myself

it was very cold
it is very cold

night, probably.
great envy for the sleeping bastards

I heaved it today from
my mouth-
for the first time,
let my hand slick with saliva
go and salvage the rubble

out out out of the head
out of the throat
loosing words

to sleep outside the head
would be so nice

to exist outside the ruin
would be so nice

to wrest from the throat
what has been contained,
stamped down, shame-soaked-
oh it would be so terrible and nice

such quiet for so long
a tired, aged infant only now
learning to speak to
ask help finding
the niceness of sleep

such nice language
such terrible language
such wreckage