Friday Thoughts
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Now playing: ABBA - S.O.S.
via FoxyTunes
I am so proud of myself for successfully making it through three consecutive days of work. My husband asks me every day “How are you doing? Are you starting to feel more comfortable at work?” and I don’t really know what to say in response to that. I’m just taking each day as it arrives, and I’m not to the point where I can really say I’m feeling better about things.
I definitely have my moments. There are two songs that never fail to make me tear up. Three of my co-workers are currently pregnant and a fourth just gave birth to her baby. It’s hard to not be around pregnancies at the moment.
I thought I was doing pretty good, until I went to go talk to one of the supervisors (who is also one of my closest friends) and she was talking with her group about one of her girls being pregnant and how she was feeling, etc. This is a new pregnancy for her. I thought I’d do okay, but after about five seconds of over hearing, I had to leave and was choking back tears. It’s very frustrating because I honestly don’t know when I’m going to have a tearful spell or how I’m going to handle certain things. It took me four days after the miscarriage before I began crying about it. I’ve just felt numb to pretty much everything. I just want to move on, but I can’t force myself to process everything either. Writing has helped, though. I’m not sure if I’m doing very well when it comes to actually SAYING what I’m feeling, but my rambling seems to be helping regardless.
I’m starting to wonder if we should wait a little longer than usual before trying again. I’m so worried about this happening again. I’m not usually one to question what my doctors tell me, but I’m just so scared of going through this emotional and physical nightmare again. I don’t know.
Now playing: ABBA - S.O.S.
via FoxyTunes
I am so proud of myself for successfully making it through three consecutive days of work. My husband asks me every day “How are you doing? Are you starting to feel more comfortable at work?” and I don’t really know what to say in response to that. I’m just taking each day as it arrives, and I’m not to the point where I can really say I’m feeling better about things.
I definitely have my moments. There are two songs that never fail to make me tear up. Three of my co-workers are currently pregnant and a fourth just gave birth to her baby. It’s hard to not be around pregnancies at the moment.
I thought I was doing pretty good, until I went to go talk to one of the supervisors (who is also one of my closest friends) and she was talking with her group about one of her girls being pregnant and how she was feeling, etc. This is a new pregnancy for her. I thought I’d do okay, but after about five seconds of over hearing, I had to leave and was choking back tears. It’s very frustrating because I honestly don’t know when I’m going to have a tearful spell or how I’m going to handle certain things. It took me four days after the miscarriage before I began crying about it. I’ve just felt numb to pretty much everything. I just want to move on, but I can’t force myself to process everything either. Writing has helped, though. I’m not sure if I’m doing very well when it comes to actually SAYING what I’m feeling, but my rambling seems to be helping regardless.
I’m starting to wonder if we should wait a little longer than usual before trying again. I’m so worried about this happening again. I’m not usually one to question what my doctors tell me, but I’m just so scared of going through this emotional and physical nightmare again. I don’t know.