Day After
Entry originally written at http://www.lovinglyworn.net. Comment here or comment there!
Now playing: A Taste of Honey - Sukiyaki
via FoxyTunes
Trying to accept the fact that I’ve suffered a miscarriage and am no longer pregnant has been difficult. For those three days when everything was fine, I was so very happy. It was very surprising how quickly that happiness was lost. For two weeks I dealt with multiple doctor’s appointments, phone calls, blood draws, ultrasounds, and disappointments.
The doctor wants us to wait until after I’ve had a period before trying again - probably at least six weeks. Part of me is frustrated that we’ll have to wait that long to try again, but part of me is not at all interested in trying again yet. I don’t know how things will play out when the time comes that we can try again. I’ve spent so much time trying to apply logic to what happened; to try to make sense of what happened. I want someone to blame, even if it’s me, and I know that that’s not healthy and that there IS no one to blame. I know that deep down there is no one to blame, and that this was just an unfortunate turn of events. Everyone keeps telling me how common miscarriages are, and that it happens to many women and that it doesn’t mean that I can’t have children. I’m very aware of these facts, but that isn’t comforting right now. It’s not comforting at all to just sit here and try to accept this situation as just a total fluke. I’m sure eventually it will all sink in that I’m not the only one going through this - I’m not the first, nor will I be the last - but right now being reminded of how many other women are experiencing or have experienced these same feelings doesn’t make my feelings diminish or somehow feel more acceptable. I know that eventually time will heal this wound. Time has always come through for me in the past.
I just hope it doesn’t take too much time.
Now playing: A Taste of Honey - Sukiyaki
via FoxyTunes
Trying to accept the fact that I’ve suffered a miscarriage and am no longer pregnant has been difficult. For those three days when everything was fine, I was so very happy. It was very surprising how quickly that happiness was lost. For two weeks I dealt with multiple doctor’s appointments, phone calls, blood draws, ultrasounds, and disappointments.
The doctor wants us to wait until after I’ve had a period before trying again - probably at least six weeks. Part of me is frustrated that we’ll have to wait that long to try again, but part of me is not at all interested in trying again yet. I don’t know how things will play out when the time comes that we can try again. I’ve spent so much time trying to apply logic to what happened; to try to make sense of what happened. I want someone to blame, even if it’s me, and I know that that’s not healthy and that there IS no one to blame. I know that deep down there is no one to blame, and that this was just an unfortunate turn of events. Everyone keeps telling me how common miscarriages are, and that it happens to many women and that it doesn’t mean that I can’t have children. I’m very aware of these facts, but that isn’t comforting right now. It’s not comforting at all to just sit here and try to accept this situation as just a total fluke. I’m sure eventually it will all sink in that I’m not the only one going through this - I’m not the first, nor will I be the last - but right now being reminded of how many other women are experiencing or have experienced these same feelings doesn’t make my feelings diminish or somehow feel more acceptable. I know that eventually time will heal this wound. Time has always come through for me in the past.
I just hope it doesn’t take too much time.