(no subject)
Ms. Andrea died last night. At about 10:20 something. She's my friend Jasmines aunt and someone I've known since pre-school. She was our emergency sub, bus attendant, and our best friend. She had cancer, which I didn't know about, and was in the hospital for quite a while. Today, I didn't smile much, no, I didn't smile at all. I couldn't. For a second I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't crying. But sure enough, once it soaked in I started balling. I couldn't stop hypervenalting for almost an hour. I never lost someone close to me before. Not to cancer. I mean when I was about 6 my great-grandma had breat cancer, but I haven't heard much about it since then, so even though I knew that cancer could kill, It sorta didn't register in my head. All of my pre-school friends have called me but I don't pick up the phone. I'd start crying again and that would make me feel vunerable, and I HATE that feeling. I feel exhausted. I'll just grab Honey and sleep with her in my moms bed 'till she gets home and either a) kicks me out or b) feel my pain and crawls in with me. Because seriously holding Honey is fine and all but I need somthing with more life than a stuffed rabbit holding me.
RIP Ms. Andrea
RIP Ms. Andrea