the doctor will see you now...
Okay, life is weird. Yes, I know I've said that before but it just is and that's cool but DAMN!!
I know I'm going to school to be like a shrink and all, but this is ridiculous! In the past week, I've ended up couching-it (my own little phrase which means that I end up in an analytical session with someone) with two... 2 people in one week. This is kinda weird.
Both people are friends but not really -close- friends but I like them both a lot and I enjoy talking with them and hanging out. They're fun. I just am always amused when people start confiding in me and looking to me for "advise" (which I never give by the way). When it happens, when I'm couching-it with someone, I just go into this zone and I just say stuff that I don't even understand half the time until it pops out of my mouth and then suddenly I'm explaining myself and it's making sense and the person I'm talking to is getting it and understanding and thinking - I mean REALLY thinking. It's absolutely a beautiful thing, albeit a bit exhausting, but its something that's happened to me occasionally throughout my entire life. It just is weird when it happens twice in one week with two different folks ya know?? I don't know. Sometimes I feel really distant from myself, dissconnected and sometimes, I really wish that I could have a friend like me to analyze MY shit and help me get it together.
I do have one friend that's good at figuring me out and he calls me on my charades all the time... the only problem with him is that he's kinda mean about it and it always ends up rubbing me the wrong way, ya know? I dunno. I come from a center of loving warmth - when I say I really love everybody, I do. It's not bullshit. My faith affords me the clarity to feel as much and whatever I want whenever I want so I do just that. I feel a lot of stuff and sometimes, my feelings feel really alone and then my head takes over and won't frickin' shut up. What a ride...
Anyways, I really get off on couching-it with people. It's a thrill, a rush, a vibe I can't really describe - when you're sooooo into someone that everything about them becomes like glass, it's so beautiful. At the same time, being totally into someone for just a short time that's only a friend, or being into someone that's only a lover always reminds me of what it was like when I was into someone all the time who was a friend and a lover.
Let's just summarize, shall we?? Before I go too deep into the abyss...
I'M FUCKING LONELY!!
There, I said it and all will be well. :)
I dunno. I'm rambling, but it feels good to get it all out of my head, ya know?
I know I'm going to school to be like a shrink and all, but this is ridiculous! In the past week, I've ended up couching-it (my own little phrase which means that I end up in an analytical session with someone) with two... 2 people in one week. This is kinda weird.
Both people are friends but not really -close- friends but I like them both a lot and I enjoy talking with them and hanging out. They're fun. I just am always amused when people start confiding in me and looking to me for "advise" (which I never give by the way). When it happens, when I'm couching-it with someone, I just go into this zone and I just say stuff that I don't even understand half the time until it pops out of my mouth and then suddenly I'm explaining myself and it's making sense and the person I'm talking to is getting it and understanding and thinking - I mean REALLY thinking. It's absolutely a beautiful thing, albeit a bit exhausting, but its something that's happened to me occasionally throughout my entire life. It just is weird when it happens twice in one week with two different folks ya know?? I don't know. Sometimes I feel really distant from myself, dissconnected and sometimes, I really wish that I could have a friend like me to analyze MY shit and help me get it together.
I do have one friend that's good at figuring me out and he calls me on my charades all the time... the only problem with him is that he's kinda mean about it and it always ends up rubbing me the wrong way, ya know? I dunno. I come from a center of loving warmth - when I say I really love everybody, I do. It's not bullshit. My faith affords me the clarity to feel as much and whatever I want whenever I want so I do just that. I feel a lot of stuff and sometimes, my feelings feel really alone and then my head takes over and won't frickin' shut up. What a ride...
Anyways, I really get off on couching-it with people. It's a thrill, a rush, a vibe I can't really describe - when you're sooooo into someone that everything about them becomes like glass, it's so beautiful. At the same time, being totally into someone for just a short time that's only a friend, or being into someone that's only a lover always reminds me of what it was like when I was into someone all the time who was a friend and a lover.
Let's just summarize, shall we?? Before I go too deep into the abyss...
I'M FUCKING LONELY!!
There, I said it and all will be well. :)
I dunno. I'm rambling, but it feels good to get it all out of my head, ya know?