May 01, 2005 21:08
So while I'm still way too emotional for my own good, I'm better than I was earlier today. Although this song doesnt help...
Thank you Neumann for totally making me feel a million times better. And thank you Daniel for putting up with all my crap and all my bitching.
While today sucked for the most part, I got to spend some good quality time with my bubble bath and junk food. Ha, I miss the days of giant chocolate bars, gallons of tea, and totally passing out while watching Pearl Harbor or some equally depressing movie after a long hardcore sugar high. Nothing makes a girl feel better!
I tried on my prom dress again today, and Olga picked at and pinned the stuff that she's going to fix. I'm starting to fall back in love with my dress. Once it fits right I think I'll be a little bit more into the whole thing. And my parents are totally making headway on the whole letting me stay out all night thing. *Cross your fingers!* I'm still afraid that the nights going to totally suck but I'll get over it... I hope!
I didn't study a single bit this weekend, and I'm getting the feeling like I'm going to totally bomb my AP on Tuesday. But oh well! I was too stressed out today to even think about Calculus.
Sometime this week, most likely Tuesday, I'm thinking about heading out to the mall to try and find a simple dress for banquet. I don't really care so much about finding one because a) I havn't been excited about going at all this year (usually its really exciting but for some reason it just seems like another thing I have to do for band), and b) I already have a couple dresses I could wear. But I'm hoping a new dress might make me a little more excited.
One thing that does excite me: Brian comes home on the 11th. Ten more days!! I need him around to take the edge off... calm me down when I'm freaking out, and hang out with me when I'm bored.
And ugh. I have to get a job. I don't really have to, but I'd be stupid to waste away without one. I need money and I want to start being a bit more responsible in that department. So... we'll see how long before I totally flake out on this one.
I can't wait till next weekend. I think I'm more excited about my appointments leading up to prom than I actually am about prom. Friday my mother made me a manicure/pedicure appointment right after school, and Saturday I have my hair and makeup at Aziz. Although I'm still nervous about the night going perfect...
Can we please stop the fighting? Its making me sick... seriously. One more arguement and I swear to god I'm giving up. Ok so maybe I wont give up, but it'll probably give me a mental breakdown, right when I don't need one. I can feel myself teetering on the edge of one, and it'll be just the thing to push me over. So please? A drama free week?
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Ok well. Just had a suprise visit from AJ that took like, an hour.
I think I'm better, and while everything I just said still holds, I have a feeling things will be better this week. I hope. I just pretty much fixed my doubts so lets hope it holds...
Like I said earlier, I feel an emotional and mental breakdown coming on. Just a warning. Although I hope to maybe fight this one off, its sure to hit me sometime soon. Probably just in time for finals. Yippee...
I don't intend to get so upset. And I try my hardest not to let it get to me but I'm only human. The fighting is driving me nuts and theres a fine line between good and bad arguing. So please, don't let us cross it. I can only take so much before I break.
I feel another wave of emotions coming on... so I should probably end here.
♥