To say that this is complicated is an understatement.
My dad called me last Thursday. After briefly going over what's been going through his mind about the last words we had exchanged (four months ago) for 10 minutes, he actually expected me to agree to seeing him this Thursday at the airport during his hour-long stop over to New York. I let the idea of it marinade in my anger and resentment for three days before I called him and told him that I can't. After four months of no contact at all, I can't let him back into my life so easily, father or not. Regardless of whether he called me a liar and a failure out of anger, I still took it very personally and was distraught the first two months we stopped talking. The following months, I gradually began to accept that it was something I was able to overcome; I didn't let it affect me as much. But it was disrupted by a single phone call on a Thursday evening while I was doing my homework at school and preparing for my next class.
I called him yesterday to let him know that if I respected his wishes for me not to contact him, then he could at least understand that I won't be able to see or talk to him on such short notice. And then I let it all out... I let him know why I resent him so much, why I refuse to let him give me such a hard time. I voiced my anger on his sexist treatment toward me, and he admitted to it with no remorse. He called women the "weaker sex" and used that reason to justify why he didn't mind my brother dating an 18 year old when he was a minor, but it was out of the question for me. In my situation, it was against the law, and that was the end of it. I called him out on this double-standard, and all he could say was, "Well... he's a boy." He explained to me that he treated me differently because "women have a tougher time in life." I can't put together why perpetuating sexism by applying it to me would better the situation. If he really wanted me to have a good life lesson, wouldn't he treat me like a boy? Or talk to me about women's struggles and what we can do to change them?
Because aside from my genitals and chest, I don't see myself any different than men. I don't see my future to be impossibly difficult or stinted of opportunities because of my vagina. I'm just as assertive and logical as any man. Even if women are physically the "weaker sex," what does that mean anymore? How far does that really get anyone in this society? We don't need physical strength to obtain food or build huts out of tree branches and adobe anymore.
But whatever.. I ended up not getting my point across, as usual. I didn't expect to, but I got frustrated nonetheless. I've been dealing with this sexist treatment my entire life, and now I'm putting my foot down. I refuse to tolerate it anymore, and I want to make change. No man will ever stand in the way of that.
I called him yesterday to let him know that if I respected his wishes for me not to contact him, then he could at least understand that I won't be able to see or talk to him on such short notice. And then I let it all out... I let him know why I resent him so much, why I refuse to let him give me such a hard time. I voiced my anger on his sexist treatment toward me, and he admitted to it with no remorse. He called women the "weaker sex" and used that reason to justify why he didn't mind my brother dating an 18 year old when he was a minor, but it was out of the question for me. In my situation, it was against the law, and that was the end of it. I called him out on this double-standard, and all he could say was, "Well... he's a boy." He explained to me that he treated me differently because "women have a tougher time in life." I can't put together why perpetuating sexism by applying it to me would better the situation. If he really wanted me to have a good life lesson, wouldn't he treat me like a boy? Or talk to me about women's struggles and what we can do to change them?
Because aside from my genitals and chest, I don't see myself any different than men. I don't see my future to be impossibly difficult or stinted of opportunities because of my vagina. I'm just as assertive and logical as any man. Even if women are physically the "weaker sex," what does that mean anymore? How far does that really get anyone in this society? We don't need physical strength to obtain food or build huts out of tree branches and adobe anymore.
But whatever.. I ended up not getting my point across, as usual. I didn't expect to, but I got frustrated nonetheless. I've been dealing with this sexist treatment my entire life, and now I'm putting my foot down. I refuse to tolerate it anymore, and I want to make change. No man will ever stand in the way of that.