A realization...
Tonight I went to my new neighbors' house with Josh and Hannah and we hung out with them and their two children. I thought...this is what my parents used to do for fun. Then, I thought...oh my god, am I my parents? That, of course, got me to thinking whether or not that would really be a bad thing, have I gotten old, am I boring and no fun? Every day I wonder what my purpose in life is, as if it's not sitting right in front of me watching Sesame Street.
For years I've wondered when I could get to a point where I was truly happy and not considering how tomorrow could be better, but be happy in the moment I was in. It's the disease of always wanting more and never appreciating what you have. It's friday night, I should be out partying and hanging around my huge group of friends I'm supposed to have and not going to sleep until the sun comes up, but then I think about the time when I did that and how unhappy, and tired, I was in the morning.
So, maybe I am getting older, maybe being a little like my parents wouldn't hurt me, and maybe I'm even more fun to the people it matters to. All I know is that when we came home tonight after hanging out and getting to know some new people, I kissed my daughter and put her to bed and laid down with my husband and knew that tomorrow couldn't be any better than that moment. I know there is no point in questioning what my life could be, or might hold because I have everything I need and more purpose than I ever imagined right now.
For years I've wondered when I could get to a point where I was truly happy and not considering how tomorrow could be better, but be happy in the moment I was in. It's the disease of always wanting more and never appreciating what you have. It's friday night, I should be out partying and hanging around my huge group of friends I'm supposed to have and not going to sleep until the sun comes up, but then I think about the time when I did that and how unhappy, and tired, I was in the morning.
So, maybe I am getting older, maybe being a little like my parents wouldn't hurt me, and maybe I'm even more fun to the people it matters to. All I know is that when we came home tonight after hanging out and getting to know some new people, I kissed my daughter and put her to bed and laid down with my husband and knew that tomorrow couldn't be any better than that moment. I know there is no point in questioning what my life could be, or might hold because I have everything I need and more purpose than I ever imagined right now.