(no subject)
okay i guess the only way to do this is just say it.
i dont know my girls anymore.
my best friend isnt even that close to me anymore.
school is splitting us apart.
robin and me never talk and its like when we do we always fight or something. i mean i dont know if i did something wrong to her or what but we never talk, i dont know anything and when i am talking to her its like im not even talkin to her.
me and karina dont act like best friends anymore. i think thats a one sided thing but i really dont feel like we are and its the worst feeling in the world. she doesnt know how much her friendship means to me and if i ever lost her then i would die.
i dunno if this is right or not but me and amber also dont really talk anymore. thats my fault too cause i dont call all that often but i never know when shes home or not and all. i thought itd be really fun having her live in the neighborhood but weve hung out maybe once or twice.
me and morgan are at each others throat when were together now. i know we bicker and everything but its like were always fighting now. its never been like this before other than that one month last year that im not gettin into.
me and audrey actually are getting along good as far as i know, shes really the only one that talks to me at school and stuff cause shes in a couple of my classes but still...
this is just what im feeling so i dont want any hate IMs sayin "my god alyse your worry to fuckin much" if you were me youd worry too. these girls are the only things i know. there my best friends and if you felt like you were losing 5 of the best friends youve ever had you would feel the same way i do and be worried JUST as much. i feel like no one wants me around anymore. i stood in lunch line today and like i was gettin closed out of the little circle every 5 minutes and then like the guy cut me off right when i walked up there. is that like foreshadowing something ladies? ah i cant stand being like this. and then i got told today that i was annoying. i have no idea how im annoying. so please people tell me cause i cant change if i dont know, i mine as well change again just like in 7th grade. i cant lose yall though i really cant. but if itll make yall happy ill find someone else to hang out with cause i feel like im nothing to yall anymore. like its okay if everyone ignores me and everyone talks shit about me and everything, this is a repeat of last year and the year before. for once i wanan feel welcome somewhere. maybe its just been a bad week for people, maybe im just overreacting like i always do, assuming things before i talk them out, but why do i always feel like this. at the end of t he day, i dont get the phone calls from people that i used to, i have to call other people and hear "oh sorry im with someone else, ill talk to you later" i dunno if yall dont want me around please tell me. nows the time, im at the bottom, i have nothing...i love yall with everything i have and yuo mean the world to me and there isnt a group of girls i would rather be with. yall are the only people i trust with my life and thought i could truly put it in your hands. im sorry if im annoying. im sorry if im not perfect. im sorry i wear makeup, im sorry my clothes sometimes are cute enough. im sorry sorry sorry. but thats me. and i wanna be ME. not someone else. thats not towards my friends as much as everyone else.
and the whole boyfriend thing, maybe if i had one i wouldnt stress as much cause i know id have someone there for me until we breakup. but I DONT HAVE THAT so i have to resort to the best things in my life. the best girls ever. i wish they could feel the same towards me. i want a boyfriend but i am perfectly happy with having my friends and always keeping them.
i need to know what im doing wrong. i need to cause i cant go on every night feeling like im nothing to anyone. cause thats what i feel. please dont IM me saying "alyse you mean something to people, why do you always overreact" cause if you were me you would to. walk in my shoes for a minute and look at how people treat me. if i say my opinino its automatically wrong. i dunno if im pmsing or what but i cant be nothing anymore.
i love all my friends. i really do. i really really really do. please tell me that you feel the same cause i need that.
i dont know my girls anymore.
my best friend isnt even that close to me anymore.
school is splitting us apart.
robin and me never talk and its like when we do we always fight or something. i mean i dont know if i did something wrong to her or what but we never talk, i dont know anything and when i am talking to her its like im not even talkin to her.
me and karina dont act like best friends anymore. i think thats a one sided thing but i really dont feel like we are and its the worst feeling in the world. she doesnt know how much her friendship means to me and if i ever lost her then i would die.
i dunno if this is right or not but me and amber also dont really talk anymore. thats my fault too cause i dont call all that often but i never know when shes home or not and all. i thought itd be really fun having her live in the neighborhood but weve hung out maybe once or twice.
me and morgan are at each others throat when were together now. i know we bicker and everything but its like were always fighting now. its never been like this before other than that one month last year that im not gettin into.
me and audrey actually are getting along good as far as i know, shes really the only one that talks to me at school and stuff cause shes in a couple of my classes but still...
this is just what im feeling so i dont want any hate IMs sayin "my god alyse your worry to fuckin much" if you were me youd worry too. these girls are the only things i know. there my best friends and if you felt like you were losing 5 of the best friends youve ever had you would feel the same way i do and be worried JUST as much. i feel like no one wants me around anymore. i stood in lunch line today and like i was gettin closed out of the little circle every 5 minutes and then like the guy cut me off right when i walked up there. is that like foreshadowing something ladies? ah i cant stand being like this. and then i got told today that i was annoying. i have no idea how im annoying. so please people tell me cause i cant change if i dont know, i mine as well change again just like in 7th grade. i cant lose yall though i really cant. but if itll make yall happy ill find someone else to hang out with cause i feel like im nothing to yall anymore. like its okay if everyone ignores me and everyone talks shit about me and everything, this is a repeat of last year and the year before. for once i wanan feel welcome somewhere. maybe its just been a bad week for people, maybe im just overreacting like i always do, assuming things before i talk them out, but why do i always feel like this. at the end of t he day, i dont get the phone calls from people that i used to, i have to call other people and hear "oh sorry im with someone else, ill talk to you later" i dunno if yall dont want me around please tell me. nows the time, im at the bottom, i have nothing...i love yall with everything i have and yuo mean the world to me and there isnt a group of girls i would rather be with. yall are the only people i trust with my life and thought i could truly put it in your hands. im sorry if im annoying. im sorry if im not perfect. im sorry i wear makeup, im sorry my clothes sometimes are cute enough. im sorry sorry sorry. but thats me. and i wanna be ME. not someone else. thats not towards my friends as much as everyone else.
and the whole boyfriend thing, maybe if i had one i wouldnt stress as much cause i know id have someone there for me until we breakup. but I DONT HAVE THAT so i have to resort to the best things in my life. the best girls ever. i wish they could feel the same towards me. i want a boyfriend but i am perfectly happy with having my friends and always keeping them.
i need to know what im doing wrong. i need to cause i cant go on every night feeling like im nothing to anyone. cause thats what i feel. please dont IM me saying "alyse you mean something to people, why do you always overreact" cause if you were me you would to. walk in my shoes for a minute and look at how people treat me. if i say my opinino its automatically wrong. i dunno if im pmsing or what but i cant be nothing anymore.
i love all my friends. i really do. i really really really do. please tell me that you feel the same cause i need that.