Why Does Everything Remind Me of Germany?
For about a month, I have been getting gray hairs. I'm only 27! I guess it has most definitely been the stress, but actually for the past few days I've been feeling a little bit better. I've realized that I have to stop arguing with people who aren't listening to what I'm saying, but rather just trying to prove themselves right all the time. From now on, I'm no longer going to try and get the last word or push my own thoughts. if people want to listen they can, and if they don't then that's fine too.
I'm going to Amsterdam in August to see Anouk and some of the other people I know there. I really am excited to see her. We only lived together 2 months, but it felt like forever, and I really was sad to see her go in the end. I wrote Magda and asked her to have a coffee with me, just for 5 minutes and she didn't even have to talk. I just want to see her, know she's ok with the decision not to have me around, and then maybe I can move on the way she has. I'm not saying I want to date her...I think we are a bit past that at this point. I know I've really hurt her...more than once. I was just hoping to have her in my life somehow...as a friend or whatever. Anouk said that if I still have feelings for her than I should keep trying because the way we were together was that meant to be kind of thing. I used to believe that so much...and sometimes I really still do. But I don't know at this point how we overcome everything. So maybe we won't....but I at least want to be able to talk to her. I hate not talking to her.
I'm going to Amsterdam in August to see Anouk and some of the other people I know there. I really am excited to see her. We only lived together 2 months, but it felt like forever, and I really was sad to see her go in the end. I wrote Magda and asked her to have a coffee with me, just for 5 minutes and she didn't even have to talk. I just want to see her, know she's ok with the decision not to have me around, and then maybe I can move on the way she has. I'm not saying I want to date her...I think we are a bit past that at this point. I know I've really hurt her...more than once. I was just hoping to have her in my life somehow...as a friend or whatever. Anouk said that if I still have feelings for her than I should keep trying because the way we were together was that meant to be kind of thing. I used to believe that so much...and sometimes I really still do. But I don't know at this point how we overcome everything. So maybe we won't....but I at least want to be able to talk to her. I hate not talking to her.