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I went to the counseling office after 2nd hour with the intent of telling her about Josh Minton and getting out of there onto sewing class. however 10 mins into talking to her I poured out my hearts and guts and released all pent up everything I had built up. Granted stuff always builds up and as hard as I try it seems that it's never really gonna go away fully and completely as much as I wish it would. After being in there for 2 hours I had cried for most of it, went through a box of tissues, had my teachers, parents, and job called and said I wasn't going anywhere. Mrs. Orrick felt I was in no condition to continue today. I've been under extreme amounts of pressure and stress lately along with feelings of abandonment from a few people. I didn't want it to bother my friends so I didn't really wanna talk about everything. Even with as much venting as I've been doing lately that just begins to scratch the surface. I basically had a nervous breakdown today and just couldn't take anymore. Today my mom's gonna take care of me and help me get caught up on all the things I've been falling behind on. I got an email from Angie saying she'd like to get together with me sometime. I'm not gonna get my hopes up too high but it would mean the world to me if I could actually get to see her one more time. My mom's gonna help to make sure I start eating again. I've eaten lunch at school but that's all I've eaten all week. I eat lunch and then I go 24 hours without eating on top of exercising as much as I can and working and fufilling obligations until 8 pm or later. Watching Sexphone with Mel last night was awesome though. It was really the first night in a long time that I've just relaxed and not felt obligated to do something. I got a chance to just sit for once. I haven't had a chance to really sit and have fun with my friends for at least two weeks now. I promise I'll try to start taking care of myself again and quit trying to destroy myself. I'm gonna try to talk to Joni and see if there's a way I can be scheduled to be in a room every other day as long as I promise to clean afterwards. I'm probably going to be so far behind on my schooling now and at least far behind in sewing and Trig. I'm sure I can catch up though. at tomorrow is Friday. I'm scared though to see what Joni will say tomorrow when I go to work. I already know she's gonna have a fit and a half over me missing today. *le sigh* Well my mom needs her computer again. I'm at WPEO while she finishes a few things up here and then we're gonna go grocery shopping for me and get my laundry done ^___^ I'm even gonna get some gas in my car. I just feel bad for my dad cuz he said he was disappointed in himself and felt that he wasn't doing his job and it's not like that. I just want my mom and dad to know that I appreciate all the things they're doing for me and that I love them so much and that everything will be ok. But yeah I'm done now.
P.S. National City. Kiss my ass. You ever feel like charging me 68 dollars in over draft charges when you're the one at fault then I swear I will go postal on your butt
P.S.S. yeah I definitely wanna do something fun Friday. I really need to hang out with my friends
P.S.S.S. I did tell her about Josh and she said that's horrible and I did have to explain to her what circle jerks were xD and she's like NO and wrote down his name and everything I said and said that she'd try and do something about it ^___^
P.S. National City. Kiss my ass. You ever feel like charging me 68 dollars in over draft charges when you're the one at fault then I swear I will go postal on your butt
P.S.S. yeah I definitely wanna do something fun Friday. I really need to hang out with my friends
P.S.S.S. I did tell her about Josh and she said that's horrible and I did have to explain to her what circle jerks were xD and she's like NO and wrote down his name and everything I said and said that she'd try and do something about it ^___^