Life, Love, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
Yo yo
I figured I would drop by and unload some updates on those individuals in my life. lol
Mom: Yep, still wants nothing to do with coming to live here in AZ. I don't know what the issue is. Or Maybe I do and I don't like it. She has some sorta mission with my brother. I understand she wants to reach him, but after so long of being pushed off, ignored, and disrespected you would think she might want some more loving company. Guess not. Doesn't feel too awesome to think about that.
Damian: Punk, 36 and can't pay his phone bill to save his freakin life. I don't know what to do with him, seeing as how everyone is telling me to drop him off there like a bad habit. But he is not their brother. The guy let me live with him, no questions asked, for a good 6 months. ahhh I hate the whole situation.
Britt: Beautiful, passionate, stubborn, fragile and kinda a nutcase but I love her. She has a real dark side that can show itself and I hate it. Really do. I should talk to her about it if it happens again. Really only jumps out if she drinks a ton and something has been bothering her. She might just need a vent or something. If those sort of things really work I guess. We just had our 4 year anniversay, bittersweet with some drama but you know, crap happens. I am willing to put that behind us and hope it never happens again. My mom did email and mention marriage. Ahhh, I guess it is time to contemplate such things. I have been.
Kirbo: Poor guy lost his job for some BS reason. And that isn't me just being biased for my best man right there. lol had the hardest time telling his mom which was kinda funny. He is hitting the pavement hard, which is awesome, I have never seen a guy try to find a job with such vigor lol. Everyday its this contact or that, interviews etcetcetc. Good job dude. I should throw him a party for when he gets one, and for his bday which is coming.
Fifi: All over the place, just a generally interesting friend.
Me: Personally, I feel like I have been melancholy lately. I guess people have noticed. Britts mom asked me If she did anything because I was in a "mood" I dont know. Maybe I am just sorting through things right now. Probably. Maybe I am being a wuss for feeling like I am being pulled in all directions right now. Financially, educationally, spiritually, career wise, relationship wise, friendship wise and the list continues. I think that is the test of a man. I do know I am at a special place right now. Perhaps that special place is the reason for the "mood" who knows. Might explain why I can't barely stand the company of a lot of people right now. Or maybe my standoffness is a result of the gillian hours of work I am doing lately. Lots of questions floating around right now. Do I emerge from this dark place a man, married, going to church, playing guitar, writing poetry and songs, with a Bachelors in Psych, a side business of long boards design, and a mountain of debt?
I have been feeling especially introspective and creative lately. Fine with silence, and work. Listening to extensive amounts of music analytically and silently driving home. I am starting school agian in a couple weeks, and I want to take more guitar lessons, write more things, start on my family picture project, design my board, carry a journal, read books work regular and ebay and still manage everything else. whoa. I may pass out.
Blah there it is. There is more I am sure but I can't think of it. It will end up here soon.
All in all, I want to progress incredibly, and I need to keep this motivation. Or find more I guess.