Revision Request!lovestruckmodsOctober 11 2011, 23:29:46 UTC
Before making a decision, we would like to request a revision to his personality section.
Actually, we’d like to hear more about Tsutomu! The current personality section feels as though you’ve only grazed the tip of the iceberg with him and we’d appreciate if you could delve deeper! Tell us more about him! Another concern is that his personality seems unintentionally contradictory. Tsutomu sounds very nice and then you describe him as judgmental and resentful. He’s shy and meek, and then you mention him shouting at neighbors. These things are not easy for a meek character. So, we’d like to read more about Tsutomu to make sure you (and us) understand him!
You have three days (72 hours) to complete the revisions. You can reply here when the revision has been completed. Thank you!
Re: Revision Request!crams_til_4amOctober 12 2011, 21:30:58 UTC
Alright, so I made a meeting with a trusted acquaintance of mine who is good at crit. I redid his personality a bit because the way I originally wrote it was a bit different than what he truly is, and worked on making it more consistent. I added some side quirks at the bottom and a few other things, but hopefully, I should have fixed everything you have asked in your request.
I also changed his network RP sample to match his personality more closely.
Your application has been accepted! Welcome to Lovestruck!
Please reply to this with your character journal and then join the following communities: lovestruckgame, lovestruckprose, lovestrucknotes, and lovestruckcrack. While waiting for acceptance, you can take the time to set up a HMD and Permissions post in your character's journal. Both are optional! Make sure you reply to the Taken page! When all that's done, feel free to go ahead and introduce yourself over in the OOC comm. Lastly, don't forget to have fun!
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Actually, we’d like to hear more about Tsutomu! The current personality section feels as though you’ve only grazed the tip of the iceberg with him and we’d appreciate if you could delve deeper! Tell us more about him! Another concern is that his personality seems unintentionally contradictory. Tsutomu sounds very nice and then you describe him as judgmental and resentful. He’s shy and meek, and then you mention him shouting at neighbors. These things are not easy for a meek character. So, we’d like to read more about Tsutomu to make sure you (and us) understand him!
You have three days (72 hours) to complete the revisions. You can reply here when the revision has been completed. Thank you!
Reply
I also changed his network RP sample to match his personality more closely.
Reply
Please reply to this with your character journal and then join the following communities: lovestruckgame, lovestruckprose, lovestrucknotes, and lovestruckcrack. While waiting for acceptance, you can take the time to set up a HMD and Permissions post in your character's journal. Both are optional! Make sure you reply to the Taken page! When all that's done, feel free to go ahead and introduce yourself over in the OOC comm. Lastly, don't forget to have fun!
We hope you enjoy your stay!
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