Rings
Title: Rings
Characters: Band centric [Simple Plan]
Rating: R
Category: Comedy
Warning: Sexual Content, Slash
Pairing: Pierre/Chuck
Note: Another Birthday fic!
Dedication: iwontbedenied. Happy Early Birthday, dear.
Summary: [Standalone]
Elephant?
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys of Simple Plan.
I only suspect and wish that this is true.
-
Rings
"They make condoms his size?"
"You're a prick, David," Pierre rolled his eyes and opened the glass cooler of the grocery store.
"Well," David huffed as he continued to look in the case for a drink that looked appealing, "I'm trying to get an idea, here. You won't tell me his actual size."
Pierre shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. "No, David, they don't. He needs them specially ordered."
"Hah, hah, Pierre," it was David's turn to roll his eyes, as he was certain Pierre was putting him on. "Because I'm sure his penis is that small. Was his nickname in the locker room Tiny Tim, too?"
"Close," Pierre nodded and smiled inwardly as he watched David reach for a cooler, hoping that it'd mean he'd finally chosen a drink. "You got the first letter of the name right."
"What was it?" Pierre frowned as David changed his mind and backed away from the cooler again.
"Tommy Lee." He smirked to himself as David finally reached in and grabbed a bottle.
He shut the door to the cooler and stood back up. "Fuck you."
"The horse does that, thanks."
David pointed a blank look at Pierre before he finally blinked and shook his head. "You're putting me on."
"I think it's a drummer thing."
"Lies."
"You can see later on if you want. He doesn't get embarrassed."
David covered his ears with his hands as he turned back toward the counter of the store. "Not listening!"
"It even gets him kind of excited and then that just means better sex for me!" Pierre persisted. "Interested in helping out a poor soul?"
"A poor soul is right," David muttered as they approached the counter and stood behind an old woman who was being checked out. It was then that David took the opportunity to turn around and glare up at Pierre. "Rimjobs are a regular part of our sex life." The lady in front of them walked away and he placed his bottle on the counter to be rung up.
Pierre immediately shuddered in his place and shook his head. "I hate you."
"Likewise, dear." David smiled, took his bottle back and opened it up.
"Remind me again why we're friends." Pierre said and placed his bottle up on the counter while David picked up his own.
"Could I assume your wives are friends?"
Pierre looked up at the cashier who'd evidently only just heard he and David's conversation. He blinked in confusion, wondering how she could have come up with such an assumption before he suddenly remembered the thin gold band around his left ring finger and the silver one on David's-David, who was evidently not paying attention as he continued to drink from his bottle.. All the same, he was too late to halt the question from leaving his lips:
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
The cashier smiled and nodded her head forward, seemingly to indicated the two men in front of her. "I asked if it was safe to assume your wives were friends."
At these words, David inhaled sharply and promptly began choking on his juice. Pierre began patting his friend's back, trying to calm him down.
"Go outside, Dude. Calm down, I'll be right there." David nodded at Pierre's words and made his way out the door. Pierre looked back to the cashier, shaking his head, and proceeded to pay for his own drink. "Yeah, our wives are friends," he replied to her question with a nod.
After finishing up with his purchase, Pierre left the store and found David sitting out in front of the door taking small sips from his juice bottle. Sensing his presence, David looked up to Pierre and the two shared a laugh as they headed back for the car and made their way back to Pierre's.
"Wifey! I'm home!" David's voice resounded through the house as he and Pierre entered.
"Chuck?" Pierre called out as he stepped in behind David and shut the door.
"Living room!" At the sound of Chuck's voice, Pierre and David headed down the hall.
Jeff looked up at Chuck from his place on the floor where he'd previously been engrossed in a video game. "Did David just refer to me as 'wifey'?"
Chuck nodded and plopped the Guitar World magazine down on the coffee table. "I think he did, yeah."
"Why?" Just as the words left his mouth, David and Pierre came into the room, Pierre heading straight for the couch and handing Chuck the bottle of juice he'd gotten from the store.
Jeff watched Pierre hand Chuck the drink and then looked to David as he settled down on the floor beside him. "None for me?"
"Fuck no," Pierre piped up, answering Jeff's question himself. "If he'd have had to find something for you we would have never finished as early as we did and then I'd have had to listen to more about the two of you rimming one another." He shuddered and as if to end the statement completely, he slunk down in his place and leaned his head on Chuck's shoulder with a distressed sigh.
Blinking, Jeff looked from Pierre to Chuck, his face as clueless as his own, and then to David. "You didn't tell him we give each other rimjobs did you?"
"Hey!" Chuck called out and curled into a semi-fetal position against Pierre. "I don't want to hear that!"
"No," David rolled his eyes exasperatedly and shook his head. "I'm sorry I lied, Pierre, Jeff and I don't do that because som-" he was cut off by Jeff's hand clamping over his mouth.
"Leave it at that, David." Jeff ordered. David shut his mouth and smiled sheepishly before he brought the bottle up to his lips. Before taking a sip, a thought struck him and he looked back toward Chuck and Pierre on the couch. The two sat curled up on the couch, each facing one another, Pierre's finger tracing ever so softly along Chuck's jaw as they displayed, what appeared to be, a stage of fond gazing into each other's eyes. "By the way, Chuck," he began and was rewarded with his two friends turning their heads and glaring at him for seemingly ruining their moment, a travesty that went unnoticed by him, "Pierre says I get to see your penis later."
Chuck rolled his eyes and turned his head back to face Pierre, giving a tired look. "You didn't..."
Pierre gave a soft, sheepish smile and shrugged a shoulder. "I was just joking around."
"Bullshit, I get to see."
"Well," Chuck sighed and stroked Pierre's arm, "now look what you did. He wants to see me naked."
Jeff looked to David with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"
"It doesn't have to be naked!" David called out, ignoring Jeff's question. "Just pant-less!"
"You're not going to let him, are you?" Chuck pouted at Pierre and curled up onto the couch more, trying to look as helpless as possible.
Licking his bottom lip, Pierre gave an amused smile. "Of course not."
"Hey!" David protested but was quickly snapped back to order by Jeff pinching his arm. He gave David a stern look to which David could only pout. "But... Pierre says it's huge!" As if to emphasize this, David's arms flew in the air and he extended them a good distance apart to signify length.
"Well, then I definitely don't need you seeing that to make me look bad!" Jeff said and reached up, grabbing the bottle of juice from David's hands before he had the opportunity to spill it.
As the two on the floor had their own little bout over the bottle, Chuck and Pierre turned to glance at one another, Chuck giving a smart Look.
Pierre chuckled and shook his head. "I swear, I did not show him any size with my hands. That's all him."
"I'm sure it is," Chuck rolled his eyes and leaned in the short distance, he two sharing a light kiss before they were broken apart when they heard a loud yelp come from the floor. They turned their heads to watch Jeff tickling David's sides. Chuck shook his head and stood up from his place on the couch. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to put this away."
David picked his head up and saw Chuck going and it was then that he nodded and wriggled himself away from Jeff to get up as well. "He's got a good idea," he said and picked up his half-empty juice bottle; "I'll be right back." Nodding along with his own words, David left for the kitchen as well.
Jeff and Pierre took this time to exchange looks with one another. "You just had to tell him about Chuck, a.k.a. Canada's not-so Black Stallion, didn't you?"
"He asked!" Pierre defended with a chuckled trailing on his voice. "It's not my fault it's the truth."
"Just your pleasure."
" My unbelievable pleasure."
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Both Pierre's and Jeff's attention was turned toward the doorway of the kitchen as the shrill screech filled the house. Before either had a chance to blink or ask, a rather distressed Charles came bounding back into the room, a heavy pound in his step. "Fucking Christ, David!"
"Chuck...?" Pierre's voice trailed off in question as he watched his companion come into the room and walk over to stand before him.
"You just had to give him the idea I'm some sort of elephant, didn't you?"
"What is it with you people and the animal metaphors? I said Tommy Lee-"
"-The hell!" Chuck threw his hands into the air. "That doesn't help either!"
"Calm the fuck down!" Pierre hollered and pulled Chuck's wrist so that he sat back down on the sofa next to him. "What made you so angry anyway?"
With a glare, Chuck turned to the kitchen entrance where David had come to stand and pointed at him. "He just tried to pants me!"
David held up his hand and pointed right back at Chuck. "Remember, Charles: Every time you point a finger, you have three more pointing back at you."
"That is highly irrelevant in this case," Chuck spat and turned back to look at Pierre while his arm still pointed to David. "As I was saying. HE TRIED TO PANTS ME!"
Pierre sighed, "Jeff. Can you try to occupy your partner so that I can calm mine down?" This statement earned Pierre a Look from Jeff, as he'd deliberately used a term he knew Jeff was not very fond of. He stood from the couch, his hand still around Chuck's wrist and pulling him into a standing position. Once Chuck was on his feet, David dove for the floor and fisted Chuck's pantlegs, pulling the baggy jeans down to the floor, his boxers, however, remained snug around his waist. Chuck yelped and pulled his pants back up, immediately jumping out from David's reach.
"David!" Pierre shouted at his friend on the floor and stepped over to Chuck.
"What!" David shouted and groaned, crawling over to where Jeff sat. He curled into his side and smiled, nuzzling Jeff's neck as his arm wrapped around his waist. He turned his head back to Pierre as he stood with his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "You said it gets him hot and then you get better sex anyway."
Pierre's eyes widened and he turned to Chuck's shocked face. Chuck's eyebrows knitted together in anger and he tore his shoulder away from Pierre's hand. "It figures you would say that," he spat and stomped out of the room.
With a scowl, Pierre shook his head and slapped his hand on his forehead. "Fucking hell," he shook his head and flopped back to lay over the sofa, picking up a throw pillow and placing it over his face.
David chewed on his lip ring and turned his head away from Pierre as he crawled into Jeff's lap. Jeff's hands wrapped around David's waist and his hand found David's and slowly began turning the thin silver band around his ring finger that matched his own.
"Uhm... Is this a bad time to ask why I was called wifey when you first came home?"
Pierre gave a long sigh and shook his head. Speaking from under the pillow, his voice was muffled, "While we were out the cashier saw our rings and inquired about our wives."
"Too bad that was only accurate for one of you," Jeff said and kissed David's temple.
"I wouldn't even consider that option for Pierre right now," David chuckled and shook his head. Pierre removed the pillow from his face and glared at him. "What? He's probably up in your room now muttering to himself, 'Such an asshole; why did I marry him?' and pacing around."
Pierre's stare stayed firm. "You know something, David? A rusty nail in my foot would probably be more helpful right now."
"Exactly," David nodded and waved his hand in the general direction of the entrance to the living room. "Why are you still here? Go find him."
After convincing himself that David had, in fact, just acted as a voice of reason, Pierre heaved a sigh and rolled off of the couch. Leaving David and Jeff to do God-knows-what in the living room, he made his way quietly to the bedroom he and Chuck shared. "Chuck?" He called out into the room as he entered but frowned as he received no answer and after a short inspection of the bed, discovered that the room was unoccupied. He heaved a sigh and walked out of the room, calling Chuck's name again as he went down the hallway.
The bathroom door of the hallway was ajar as he came up to it and Pierre noted the light coming from within. He put his hand on the doorframe and leaned his weight out, allowing himself to swing around through the door.
"Hey, Chuck-" his beckon was cut short as he swung flush into Charles, their chests colliding and the impact sending the both of them to the bathroom floor. Pierre looked down at the man beneath him and grinned "Hey, Chuck," he gave a soft, nervous laugh, "fancy meeting you here."
"Fancy meeting you here on our bathroom floor." Chuck's voice had a heavy tone of sarcasm to it.
"At least it's a clean bathroom floor."
"You're welcome for that."
Pierre leant down to place a light peck on his homosexual life mate's lips and a smug smile graced over his features. "One of the many reasons I married you."
"Right," he rolled his eyes, "I clean your floors and perform oral sex whenever you want." Shaking his head, he sighed. "What was it you were talking about in the other room? I'm an excellent wife?"
Chuckling as he placed light kisses over Chuck's jaw an neck, Pierre smiled. "Now, now, you're forgetting another very important reason that we were talking about in the other room as well."
A long sigh. "Which was..."
"Just that you've got this great big penis," he began and sat back on his heels, he reached back behind himself and pushed the bathroom door shut. "And it's all mine." He grinned and leaned over Chuck, kissing his lips again. "And don't make yourself out to be some great person for being willing to go down on me at any time because we both know I do the same for you." As if to punctuate his statement, Pierre's hands slid down and began opening the belt around Chuck's hips.
"Why is it our stints with oral sex in bathrooms are generally your idea?"
"Liar," Pierre murmured as he kissed Chuck's neck.
"I am not! That time at the VMAs, that time on the plane to Japan, that time in your parents' bathroom-"
"-Hey, that turned out to be a really fucking good night."
"Still," he sighed, "I'm making a fucking point, here."
"Yeah, well," Pierre sat up on his knees again and leaned back to turn the lock on the door. He then moved his hands to Chuck's pants and tugged them down past his hips. "Your ideas aren't always the best. Stop thinking about your damn point and let me work my magic, okay?"
Chuck smirked and pulled Pierre down for a teasing kiss. "Have at it, Merlin."
-
Characters: Band centric [Simple Plan]
Rating: R
Category: Comedy
Warning: Sexual Content, Slash
Pairing: Pierre/Chuck
Note: Another Birthday fic!
Dedication: iwontbedenied. Happy Early Birthday, dear.
Summary: [Standalone]
Elephant?
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys of Simple Plan.
I only suspect and wish that this is true.
-
Rings
"They make condoms his size?"
"You're a prick, David," Pierre rolled his eyes and opened the glass cooler of the grocery store.
"Well," David huffed as he continued to look in the case for a drink that looked appealing, "I'm trying to get an idea, here. You won't tell me his actual size."
Pierre shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. "No, David, they don't. He needs them specially ordered."
"Hah, hah, Pierre," it was David's turn to roll his eyes, as he was certain Pierre was putting him on. "Because I'm sure his penis is that small. Was his nickname in the locker room Tiny Tim, too?"
"Close," Pierre nodded and smiled inwardly as he watched David reach for a cooler, hoping that it'd mean he'd finally chosen a drink. "You got the first letter of the name right."
"What was it?" Pierre frowned as David changed his mind and backed away from the cooler again.
"Tommy Lee." He smirked to himself as David finally reached in and grabbed a bottle.
He shut the door to the cooler and stood back up. "Fuck you."
"The horse does that, thanks."
David pointed a blank look at Pierre before he finally blinked and shook his head. "You're putting me on."
"I think it's a drummer thing."
"Lies."
"You can see later on if you want. He doesn't get embarrassed."
David covered his ears with his hands as he turned back toward the counter of the store. "Not listening!"
"It even gets him kind of excited and then that just means better sex for me!" Pierre persisted. "Interested in helping out a poor soul?"
"A poor soul is right," David muttered as they approached the counter and stood behind an old woman who was being checked out. It was then that David took the opportunity to turn around and glare up at Pierre. "Rimjobs are a regular part of our sex life." The lady in front of them walked away and he placed his bottle on the counter to be rung up.
Pierre immediately shuddered in his place and shook his head. "I hate you."
"Likewise, dear." David smiled, took his bottle back and opened it up.
"Remind me again why we're friends." Pierre said and placed his bottle up on the counter while David picked up his own.
"Could I assume your wives are friends?"
Pierre looked up at the cashier who'd evidently only just heard he and David's conversation. He blinked in confusion, wondering how she could have come up with such an assumption before he suddenly remembered the thin gold band around his left ring finger and the silver one on David's-David, who was evidently not paying attention as he continued to drink from his bottle.. All the same, he was too late to halt the question from leaving his lips:
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
The cashier smiled and nodded her head forward, seemingly to indicated the two men in front of her. "I asked if it was safe to assume your wives were friends."
At these words, David inhaled sharply and promptly began choking on his juice. Pierre began patting his friend's back, trying to calm him down.
"Go outside, Dude. Calm down, I'll be right there." David nodded at Pierre's words and made his way out the door. Pierre looked back to the cashier, shaking his head, and proceeded to pay for his own drink. "Yeah, our wives are friends," he replied to her question with a nod.
After finishing up with his purchase, Pierre left the store and found David sitting out in front of the door taking small sips from his juice bottle. Sensing his presence, David looked up to Pierre and the two shared a laugh as they headed back for the car and made their way back to Pierre's.
"Wifey! I'm home!" David's voice resounded through the house as he and Pierre entered.
"Chuck?" Pierre called out as he stepped in behind David and shut the door.
"Living room!" At the sound of Chuck's voice, Pierre and David headed down the hall.
Jeff looked up at Chuck from his place on the floor where he'd previously been engrossed in a video game. "Did David just refer to me as 'wifey'?"
Chuck nodded and plopped the Guitar World magazine down on the coffee table. "I think he did, yeah."
"Why?" Just as the words left his mouth, David and Pierre came into the room, Pierre heading straight for the couch and handing Chuck the bottle of juice he'd gotten from the store.
Jeff watched Pierre hand Chuck the drink and then looked to David as he settled down on the floor beside him. "None for me?"
"Fuck no," Pierre piped up, answering Jeff's question himself. "If he'd have had to find something for you we would have never finished as early as we did and then I'd have had to listen to more about the two of you rimming one another." He shuddered and as if to end the statement completely, he slunk down in his place and leaned his head on Chuck's shoulder with a distressed sigh.
Blinking, Jeff looked from Pierre to Chuck, his face as clueless as his own, and then to David. "You didn't tell him we give each other rimjobs did you?"
"Hey!" Chuck called out and curled into a semi-fetal position against Pierre. "I don't want to hear that!"
"No," David rolled his eyes exasperatedly and shook his head. "I'm sorry I lied, Pierre, Jeff and I don't do that because som-" he was cut off by Jeff's hand clamping over his mouth.
"Leave it at that, David." Jeff ordered. David shut his mouth and smiled sheepishly before he brought the bottle up to his lips. Before taking a sip, a thought struck him and he looked back toward Chuck and Pierre on the couch. The two sat curled up on the couch, each facing one another, Pierre's finger tracing ever so softly along Chuck's jaw as they displayed, what appeared to be, a stage of fond gazing into each other's eyes. "By the way, Chuck," he began and was rewarded with his two friends turning their heads and glaring at him for seemingly ruining their moment, a travesty that went unnoticed by him, "Pierre says I get to see your penis later."
Chuck rolled his eyes and turned his head back to face Pierre, giving a tired look. "You didn't..."
Pierre gave a soft, sheepish smile and shrugged a shoulder. "I was just joking around."
"Bullshit, I get to see."
"Well," Chuck sighed and stroked Pierre's arm, "now look what you did. He wants to see me naked."
Jeff looked to David with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"
"It doesn't have to be naked!" David called out, ignoring Jeff's question. "Just pant-less!"
"You're not going to let him, are you?" Chuck pouted at Pierre and curled up onto the couch more, trying to look as helpless as possible.
Licking his bottom lip, Pierre gave an amused smile. "Of course not."
"Hey!" David protested but was quickly snapped back to order by Jeff pinching his arm. He gave David a stern look to which David could only pout. "But... Pierre says it's huge!" As if to emphasize this, David's arms flew in the air and he extended them a good distance apart to signify length.
"Well, then I definitely don't need you seeing that to make me look bad!" Jeff said and reached up, grabbing the bottle of juice from David's hands before he had the opportunity to spill it.
As the two on the floor had their own little bout over the bottle, Chuck and Pierre turned to glance at one another, Chuck giving a smart Look.
Pierre chuckled and shook his head. "I swear, I did not show him any size with my hands. That's all him."
"I'm sure it is," Chuck rolled his eyes and leaned in the short distance, he two sharing a light kiss before they were broken apart when they heard a loud yelp come from the floor. They turned their heads to watch Jeff tickling David's sides. Chuck shook his head and stood up from his place on the couch. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to put this away."
David picked his head up and saw Chuck going and it was then that he nodded and wriggled himself away from Jeff to get up as well. "He's got a good idea," he said and picked up his half-empty juice bottle; "I'll be right back." Nodding along with his own words, David left for the kitchen as well.
Jeff and Pierre took this time to exchange looks with one another. "You just had to tell him about Chuck, a.k.a. Canada's not-so Black Stallion, didn't you?"
"He asked!" Pierre defended with a chuckled trailing on his voice. "It's not my fault it's the truth."
"Just your pleasure."
" My unbelievable pleasure."
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Both Pierre's and Jeff's attention was turned toward the doorway of the kitchen as the shrill screech filled the house. Before either had a chance to blink or ask, a rather distressed Charles came bounding back into the room, a heavy pound in his step. "Fucking Christ, David!"
"Chuck...?" Pierre's voice trailed off in question as he watched his companion come into the room and walk over to stand before him.
"You just had to give him the idea I'm some sort of elephant, didn't you?"
"What is it with you people and the animal metaphors? I said Tommy Lee-"
"-The hell!" Chuck threw his hands into the air. "That doesn't help either!"
"Calm the fuck down!" Pierre hollered and pulled Chuck's wrist so that he sat back down on the sofa next to him. "What made you so angry anyway?"
With a glare, Chuck turned to the kitchen entrance where David had come to stand and pointed at him. "He just tried to pants me!"
David held up his hand and pointed right back at Chuck. "Remember, Charles: Every time you point a finger, you have three more pointing back at you."
"That is highly irrelevant in this case," Chuck spat and turned back to look at Pierre while his arm still pointed to David. "As I was saying. HE TRIED TO PANTS ME!"
Pierre sighed, "Jeff. Can you try to occupy your partner so that I can calm mine down?" This statement earned Pierre a Look from Jeff, as he'd deliberately used a term he knew Jeff was not very fond of. He stood from the couch, his hand still around Chuck's wrist and pulling him into a standing position. Once Chuck was on his feet, David dove for the floor and fisted Chuck's pantlegs, pulling the baggy jeans down to the floor, his boxers, however, remained snug around his waist. Chuck yelped and pulled his pants back up, immediately jumping out from David's reach.
"David!" Pierre shouted at his friend on the floor and stepped over to Chuck.
"What!" David shouted and groaned, crawling over to where Jeff sat. He curled into his side and smiled, nuzzling Jeff's neck as his arm wrapped around his waist. He turned his head back to Pierre as he stood with his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "You said it gets him hot and then you get better sex anyway."
Pierre's eyes widened and he turned to Chuck's shocked face. Chuck's eyebrows knitted together in anger and he tore his shoulder away from Pierre's hand. "It figures you would say that," he spat and stomped out of the room.
With a scowl, Pierre shook his head and slapped his hand on his forehead. "Fucking hell," he shook his head and flopped back to lay over the sofa, picking up a throw pillow and placing it over his face.
David chewed on his lip ring and turned his head away from Pierre as he crawled into Jeff's lap. Jeff's hands wrapped around David's waist and his hand found David's and slowly began turning the thin silver band around his ring finger that matched his own.
"Uhm... Is this a bad time to ask why I was called wifey when you first came home?"
Pierre gave a long sigh and shook his head. Speaking from under the pillow, his voice was muffled, "While we were out the cashier saw our rings and inquired about our wives."
"Too bad that was only accurate for one of you," Jeff said and kissed David's temple.
"I wouldn't even consider that option for Pierre right now," David chuckled and shook his head. Pierre removed the pillow from his face and glared at him. "What? He's probably up in your room now muttering to himself, 'Such an asshole; why did I marry him?' and pacing around."
Pierre's stare stayed firm. "You know something, David? A rusty nail in my foot would probably be more helpful right now."
"Exactly," David nodded and waved his hand in the general direction of the entrance to the living room. "Why are you still here? Go find him."
After convincing himself that David had, in fact, just acted as a voice of reason, Pierre heaved a sigh and rolled off of the couch. Leaving David and Jeff to do God-knows-what in the living room, he made his way quietly to the bedroom he and Chuck shared. "Chuck?" He called out into the room as he entered but frowned as he received no answer and after a short inspection of the bed, discovered that the room was unoccupied. He heaved a sigh and walked out of the room, calling Chuck's name again as he went down the hallway.
The bathroom door of the hallway was ajar as he came up to it and Pierre noted the light coming from within. He put his hand on the doorframe and leaned his weight out, allowing himself to swing around through the door.
"Hey, Chuck-" his beckon was cut short as he swung flush into Charles, their chests colliding and the impact sending the both of them to the bathroom floor. Pierre looked down at the man beneath him and grinned "Hey, Chuck," he gave a soft, nervous laugh, "fancy meeting you here."
"Fancy meeting you here on our bathroom floor." Chuck's voice had a heavy tone of sarcasm to it.
"At least it's a clean bathroom floor."
"You're welcome for that."
Pierre leant down to place a light peck on his homosexual life mate's lips and a smug smile graced over his features. "One of the many reasons I married you."
"Right," he rolled his eyes, "I clean your floors and perform oral sex whenever you want." Shaking his head, he sighed. "What was it you were talking about in the other room? I'm an excellent wife?"
Chuckling as he placed light kisses over Chuck's jaw an neck, Pierre smiled. "Now, now, you're forgetting another very important reason that we were talking about in the other room as well."
A long sigh. "Which was..."
"Just that you've got this great big penis," he began and sat back on his heels, he reached back behind himself and pushed the bathroom door shut. "And it's all mine." He grinned and leaned over Chuck, kissing his lips again. "And don't make yourself out to be some great person for being willing to go down on me at any time because we both know I do the same for you." As if to punctuate his statement, Pierre's hands slid down and began opening the belt around Chuck's hips.
"Why is it our stints with oral sex in bathrooms are generally your idea?"
"Liar," Pierre murmured as he kissed Chuck's neck.
"I am not! That time at the VMAs, that time on the plane to Japan, that time in your parents' bathroom-"
"-Hey, that turned out to be a really fucking good night."
"Still," he sighed, "I'm making a fucking point, here."
"Yeah, well," Pierre sat up on his knees again and leaned back to turn the lock on the door. He then moved his hands to Chuck's pants and tugged them down past his hips. "Your ideas aren't always the best. Stop thinking about your damn point and let me work my magic, okay?"
Chuck smirked and pulled Pierre down for a teasing kiss. "Have at it, Merlin."
-