John and Rodney Fall in Love - SGA Thoughts and Ponderings
So in the last 9 months....or maybe even longer, I've been reading and watching a lot of Stargate: Atlantis. I've seen all the episodes at least once, some of them twice, and realize that a Stargate (aka The Ring of the Ancestors) can take you pretty much anywhere, and bring you home again. You might meet some folks who live in a backwater hamlet that resembles nothing so much as a Ren Fair, and you are sure to meet trouble along the way.
I never really thought that after I found Supernatural that I'd need or find another fandom, but indeed I have. I've not done more than read and watch but want to.
I want to write slash. I want to write slash that doesn't throw in front of me the quandary of two brothers having sex with each other.
I tried that with Numbers, I really did. I wanted to make Charlie and Don DO IT, but I couldn't get past the fact that the two of them are pretty law abiding and it would be pretty much the last thing they would consider when the world ended. Dira Sudis wrote pretty much the best and only example (with a few exceptions) in that fandom of a story that convinced me utterly and completely and forever that Charlie and Don were meant for each other.
Brothers are hard, you know to get into bed, and it's not that for any given fan who's jiggy with it, and there's another who figures we're all going to burn in hell for even considering it. It's just that finding ways to overcome that taboo, with enough force to make it believable, possible, AND in character. And that's not why i want to pick up SGA, I think Sam and Dean are, frankly, the perfect messed up, hell, FUCKED up couple that ever sashayed across my TV screen. They're so messed up that to me for them not to be together would be the miracle. They're up in each other's grill and business all the time, and it makes sense.
But I've done them, and made them do each other, and I'm happy that I found a way to let them fall in love.
So, in SGA, you know how you do (or at least I do) when you watch a new show and consider whether or not you'll find yourself immersed in that culture....you wonder who you'll like and which one of them will like each other. You know, like that.
When I started I didn't know a wraith dart from a puddle jumper, I didn't know what a BDU was, and I had no idea about why this city on the sea on another planet would be so interesting. I pretty much stayed away; Supernatural took my heart and taught me things and made me look at dive motels, and rock music, and black Impalas in a whole new light. What on earth, when I had all that, would I need some dumb pseudo-sci-fi show that was just a spin off of another show which was a spin off of a movie? (Well, the original movie had James Spader in it, so that was something to remember.)
Finally, I saw a songvideo called Another Sunday, by jesscaflowne, which you can find here:
http://jescaflowne.livejournal.com/76458.html
I remember thinking about that video a great deal, when I saw it two years ago, and I thought in the back of my mind that there had to be something to a show that this vidder made such a great vid for - and put so much thought into and took a goofy song by a band that frankly I felt had sold out...and made this musical commentary that was both hilarious and pointed at the same time. I couldn't tell you who anyone was in the video, only that there seemed to be a lot of these four characters, whose names I didn't know...you know the drill. You're drawn in and you don't know why.
Okay, let's flash forward to now, when I've see the videos, (and I know who everyone is in that vid finally!), and read a lot of fic, some fantastic fic...I could name you so many that I've enjoyed and adored and read again, and then again after that. Some of the fic is goofy and just fluffy and a lot of it is funny, comedy runs deep in this fandom and the desire to emulate the subtle jokes and riffs in many of the episodes, and some of the writers do a great job.
But this isn't a post about me telling you what my favorite fic was, because you could go to any good rec list and find all kinds off good stuff. Maybe at the end of this post I'll include those rec lists...but it's wide open and your taste might not be the same as mine.
Anyway, as you may or may not know, when a writer starts reading in any given fandom, sooner or later, she's going to want to write one of her own, either because what she's reading sucks (in her opinion) or is not just exactly what she needs or, usually, because the writing is SO good she wants to reach for the stars. I would say in this fandom, it's a little bit of "not exactly" what I need in SGA as sometimes there's a little too much fluff and not enough torture, but I think that's the nature of the fandom.
Ever notice how some fandoms just don't have room for tentacle fic and some fandoms have nothing but? I think fandoms have trends and flavors, and in SGA the trend is fluff and funny and romantic, the latter of which I have, to my surprise, grown to love. Romantic fanfic! Like, Harlequin romantic, or based on Romantic films, and I just never thought I'd see the day. But mostly, it's because the talent and scope of the writers in this fandom is high, the bench is high, the writers are the top of the tree, and I would like to be there. Even though, as my friend amalthia keeps reminding me, I don't really need to worry about how the characters will get to any given planet because the Stargates will take them pretty much anywhere and ALL (or most) of the planets have them.
I'm reading along and thinking of plots and wondering where I'll go with it all. Oh, yes, I found my pairing right away, duh. It's Rodney and John. I realize there are other pairings and far be it from me to tell anyone (ever) who to slash, but for me, it's Rodney and John. On screen, they are always flirting with their eyes and making smirky looks at each other, and saving each other's lives, and when one of them is hurt, YUP, the other one is in the infirmary with them. They practically hold hands. It's not deep but it's a mile wide but there's plenty there to pick and choose and develop.
Overall I'm good with Rodney and John as lovers. I like first time stories best (always have), don't much care for established fic unless there's an issue that arises between the two of them, but usually established fic is about something sci fi, like a battle or a spaceship or people in pods...but I really prefer it to be about THEM and their relationship. I just like watching them fall in love over and over and over again. I like it in the fic when they're in Character, and in this fandom, I think it's harder than it looks, so my hat's off to writers who get it like I think it should be, although I'm always open to a new perspective.
But here's my ponderings......many days now. Asking Amalthia over and over until she tells me to quit bugging her and find something new to obsess over. Two years ago it was Missing Persons. Last year it was City of the Seven Walls. And now this question. You ready?
Okay. Here goes.
When I was in K/S fandom, I could see exactly why Kirk and Spock were in love. They were soul mates; from different planets, yes, but soul mates, gypsies of the stars, always looking up and out and madly in love the whole time. I never saw it any other way.
In Starsky and Hutch fandom, the slash wrote itself. Starsky and Hutch LOVED each other to bits, even on the episodes, their hands were always all over each other all the time. The actors even said it was a love story about two people who happened to be cops. It was a love fest! And very easy to write slash.
Bodie and Doyle (The Professionals) was a little harder, only because they were British and the Brits (at least on TV) have a different way of interacting. I did write two stories about them, but never finished or posted because I couldn't figure out how to do the Bodie and Doyle of "I love you" and a happy ending. They're so rugged and hard and tough, they're trained to be killers, to protect England from terrorists. I did a lot of reading about terrorists back in those days, particularly a book called The Rescuers: The World's Top Anti-Terrorist Units by Leroy Thompson. The most remarkable thing that I remember about this book was that when it talked about the British anti-terrorist unit, they were so well trained that they could basically pull off a rescue with an axe and a coil of rope.
After that it was...Blake and Avon, but they weren't in love, and any sex would be angry sex.
Then there was Sam and Dean, those messed up little perverts. : D
So SGA. Rodney and John. A lot of romantic stories, fluffy stories, with a few darker ones like "City of the Seven Walls" and "Indelible" and so on...I'll admit I'm enjoying pretty much all of it, if it's John/Rodney centric and a first time scenario. The variety always surprises me.
But recently in reading the romantic ones (and there are a LOT), I noticed a trend. I'll talk about the trend by talking about the characters.
First John. He's hot. He's a hero. He's a pilot! He's got bed hair even when he's not in bed. He's tan, lithe, sexy, smoky, pretty much unavailable, unobtainable, mysterious, in short, he's PERFECT. And he's smart. Did I mention smart? Yeah. Secretly smart, so it's no wonder that anyone, be it space alien princess or Canadian scientist would fall in love with him. Did I mention smoking hot and smoldering with bedroom eyes even when he's in a meeting? Basically, I have no problem with thinking that Rodney would fall for him. Hard. I almost did, truly. He's sexy, and that's a fact.
It doesn't matter if Rodney is straight (though so many writers have him being bi-sexual for some reason), he falls for John and he falls hard and usually he expects to get hurt (and John hurts him, though not on purpose) and writers love dragging Rodney for a scrape across the rocks till he's raw and vulnerable and has got that big, blue eyed boy look going on....so who wouldn't want to be Rodney falling in love with John? No one.
But say for example, that you are a Rodney fan, as I am. I like Rodney because I have a thing for milky pale, broad shouldered, dense thighed, incredibly SMART men, so Rodney, yeah I clapped eyes on him and thought that I could cook around the citrus issue, surely. And maybe I'd get him a piano so he could take that up again. (The one thing I love is that every single writer, to a man and a woman, if they bring up the issue of the piano teacher telling a 12-year old Rodney that he can't play because he has no heart for it? Every one of them finds a way to bring a piano on stage so Rodney can play it and so that John can support him playing it. I love fandom.)
Aside from the fact that so many writers write John gay (and here's the main pondering) why would John fall in love with Rodney? Whether John is straight (and to me there's no evidence - even with that hair - that he's not), or whether he's bi, bi-curious, or gay as a gay thing, why would he fall for a milky pale, broad shouldered, dense thighed, incredibly SMART man?. Just because I would and do and have, doesn't mean John would. Or is. Or has.
First off, John seems asexual to me. A woman comes on to him in some castle and he mutters that he never sees it coming. Which is hard to believe, given his good looks and home-boy charm....so it kind of tells me he doesn't see it coming because he's not interested. I'd be willing to be dissuaded from this point of view, however. I'm not married to it, I'm just trying to work my way through my confusion.
And really, John could have anyone he wants. Anyone, anywhere, anytime. Not to mention that the whole gay-military problem that was in full swing at the time - would John actually risk his career to have sex with a guy like Rodney? Mmmm......
I'm not dissing Rodney. Like I said, I like guys like Rodney. A man with brains is the biggest turnon, and add to that a pair of pretty eyes, and expressive hands and he's CANADIAN to boot...did I ever tell you about the time I went out with Bryan from Toronto? When I met him he was playing the bagpipes at a nearby Scottish festival and he was wearing a KILT. Oh lord. And yes, we went into the heather, so to speak....
Anyway, Rodney is not typical handsome. He's not TV beautiful and I don't think the character was meant to be. Of course, what we love we find beautiful, so I like his looks just fine. In fact, I like them a LOT.
Part of my problem is that Rodney's looks are a huge issue. And I think they should be. But not to John.
God, what a ramble this is turning out to be. It made more sense in the car on the way home.....
I've recently read a string of stories by an writer...and she's good, I like her stuff, it's romantic and angsty and the characters behave like real people, and if they get mad or messed up, they try and fix it the next day, or talk about it, and they keep trying until love happens. I wouldn't mind my life being like it is in her stories. Except for the soul-sucking wraith, of course.
But her writing made me realize something that she was doing, and something that a lot of writers in SGA do, so maybe it's part of the flavor of this particular fandom. But I don't like it...it makes me uncomfortable because it flies in the face of what I think love should be for these two.
So say for example, Rodney and John are coming together, and they're about to take their clothes off (because YES, it's that kind of story! Is there any other kind???) And Rodney is shy because he's got a soft tummy, and John thinks...oh hey, I love this guy so I should love his stomach too. So he says something like, Oh, I like soft tummies! And Rodney believes him because John's an honest sort....and on it goes.
But it sometimes sounds like John's saying what Rodney needs to hear, and even though he loves Rodney, he's not really turned on by the tummy but he makes himself be turned on. But it comes across like the writer is going through an Extra Big Hoop to a) acknowledge Rodney's lack of hero physique and b) Make it Very Clear that it Doesn't Matter to John. It's as though the writers feel like they HAVE to do this in order to validate the fact that these guys are in love even though Rodney isn't hot. It's not a matched pair, like Sam and Dean, where you have a hard time deciding between the two. Even if you like Sam or Dean, you can easily say, yes the other one is pretty too. But in SGA that's not (conventionally) true, and the writers have to "show their work" and PROVE that Rodney's looks don't matter. I'm not saying all the writers do this, but a lot do.
But by that time....I'm jerked out of the story, no matter how hard the writer tries to convince me that this is what John's reaction would be to Rodney's shyness. Out-of-shape-ness.
Oh sure, I can totally buy it if John can be made to make a flippant comment, so very much John, about it. But no. John says these things about tummies so very seriously...and I can't believe that, because John, he's either flippant or silent. Or if Rodney blows up 5/6ths of a galaxy, THEN he yells.
So why oh why? WHYYYYYYY????? Why would John fall in love with Rodney. I've thought about it till I'm tired of thinking about it. I just want to write my story, okay?
Here's what I think. So Rodney is smart, and he likes John because John is nice to him. That's how it starts. But John is nice to everyone, even if he doesn't like them, at least to start, because....it's his way. He doesn't care to get to know you, so he's nice to you because it simply doesn't matter to him. If he needs to trade with you or use your Stargate, he'll throw in a little flirting and flex his muscles, and really, you can't resist him. But underneath all that, he's smart. Scary smart and he hides it because being that smart is hard to do. So when Rodney finds out that John is smart, well, I think that's a turnon for Rodney. Plus...John tends to let Rodney be Rodney, he lets all of Rodney's irritating habits slide right off him, and, best of all John can keep up with Rodney in the smarts department. Easy to see why Rodney would fall for John. Easy.
Of course between them, Rodney and John have the same sense of humor, the same sense of right and wrong, the same fascination with discovering strange new worlds and new civilizations...so they're friends, pretty much right away.
As for John. Here's the cool kid on the block, athletic, smart, sexy, tanned, lithe, etc. etc. Why would he fall in love with what is basically the fat kid of the gang? (and Rodney's not fat, I'm just trying to make a point here). Here's what I think. First of all. Rodney knows John's smart, so John doesn't hide that. And in spite of John's good looks, Rodney is more interested in talking to John and being with John and having adventures with John...and I'm not saying Rodney doesn't have an eye for a pretty face, but when he looks at John, he sees JOHN. He's not trying to get something from John, never asks him to be something he's not, isn't trying to trick John in bed....he just wants to BE with JOHN. So I think John responds to that....and that's why he falls in love. Not because of what Rodney looks like and not in SPITE of what Rodney looks like, but because of who Rodney is and how he makes John feel.
Besides, I hate those stories where these potentially straight guys suddenly say "OH he's so HOT, what a great ASS he's got, I can't wait to stick my COCK into that ass!"
So John falls in love with Rodney because Rodney has zero expectations, absolutely no guile (except when trying to get chocolate, coffee or a zed pm, and even then, he's hopeless) and because Rodney, with Rodney, you get what you see. John can trust Rodney to be himself, and so that let's John be himself. And I think for John, not having to pretend to be something he's not, not to have to put on a "show" is a huge plus for him.
As I was driving home, I thought about John's little team...and figured that with Ronan, John sees himself, large parts of himself, the soldier, the athlete, the hunter, the strong and the brave....with Teyla, John sees all those morals and ethics and calmness and focused energy, and he wants to rise to the level that Teyla has set. But with Rodney....it's more like Rodney is John's barometer on how safe the world is. Is Rodney complaining and babbling? Then the world is safe. Is he silent and wide eyed? Then the world is not safe. But it's not about how Rodney looks, although, like I mentioned, what we love we find attractive, it's because of all the things that Rodney is and all the things that he just accepts in John.
And lastly, Rodney is "home" to John. Hearth and home.
I didn't think this idea until I read this one story. It's called...The Price That Life Extracts by Cathalin, and you can find it here:
http://sites.google.com/site/cathalinspuddle/home/sgafic/the-price
or here:
http://sgabigbang.talkoncorners.net/?id=38&view=fic
I almost didn't read this fic because when I started reading it, John was missing. I don't like the characters on their own (unless they're brooding and angsting about each other on a windswept balcony....), and Rodney was so miserable because John's been gone a year and I hate seeing him like that, thinking John was dead. But lo, a baby appears, and it's John's and eventually Rodney finds John, and the story picks up the idea that earlier (before the story began) Rodney and John had a little standing up sex after a tough mission and after that, right after that, John disappeared, and so the sex went unresolved.
Luckily, I stuck with it, and got SUCKED in HARD. God I love this story, and I'm not alone, lots of other readers did too. It's got everything, angst, arguments, blue jello, piano playing, and makeup sex. : D
So there's a point in the story where John's finally been home on Atlantis enough to relax and maybe, yeah, have some sex with Rodney....and during this scene (and a sweet scene it is), there's these two paragraphs:
John keeps staring down at his hands, hands which Rodney now sees are shaking. Rodney takes a deep breath and moves his hand slowly, cautiously, closer and closer to John's leg. John doesn't pull back, just sits there, so Rodney lets his hand keep going, coming to rest curled over John's knee. He can't help pressing a little, feeling the knob of John's knee bone, John's skin radiating heat through his BDUs. "What do you--?" Rodney begins, but he's interrupted by John surging around, sliding to his knees in front of Rodney, nuzzling his head up against Rodney's belly, rubbing his face across it and letting his lips catch, then slide, on his fraying t-shirt.
Rodney gasps and brings a hand up to touch John's hair tentatively, afraid that he isn't allowed this, but apparently he is, because John growls and slides his hands up, first Rodney's calves, then his thighs, to his fly. "I need," he says to Rodney's lap, and Rodney knows he won't stop this, not for anything, with the world fading out around John's dark head and hard hands, even though he knows it's wrong in so many ways he can't even begin to count them.
So in the middle of this bit, John rubs his head...or rather nuzzles his head against Rodney's belly. And it's a belly, not a flat six pack, not a stomach...it's a belly. The word itself says something about the shape of it, that it's soft and warm and cushy....and here John is, and that's the first thing John does. He doesn't kiss Rodney, he nuzzles his belly. As if that belly, and the thoughts of doing JUST THIS VERY THING were all that kept John sane in the year he was trapped in that alien spaceship, doing unspeakable things to alien women against his will. Only Rodney's belly kept him going, because to him it represents hearth and home, where everything's safe and warm and still. Even for a guy like John, who likes things that go very fast, all those adrenaline rush activities of the lithe and smoky, THIS belly is what he wants. All he wants. Seems like all he has ever wanted.
After I read this story...I waited a few days and read it again. You know how stories are. Sometimes they're better the first time, and later, because you know what's coming, they're good, but they're not AS good. This one? Just kept getting better, and I would find myself tightening up in anticipation when I would come closer to this particular scene, waiting for the moment when John would fall to his knees to nuzzle Rodney's belly. Of course SEX happens and other parts are nuzzled and licked and sucked and so on. But not once does John proclaim how he "likes" Rodney's softness. He loves Rodney and everything that Rodney is, and how Rodney looks isn't even an issue. And as long and Rodney and his belly are withing nuzzling distance, John's a happy guy.
And that's how love should be.
This entry was originally posted at http://lovesrain44.dreamwidth.org/4373.html.
I never really thought that after I found Supernatural that I'd need or find another fandom, but indeed I have. I've not done more than read and watch but want to.
I want to write slash. I want to write slash that doesn't throw in front of me the quandary of two brothers having sex with each other.
I tried that with Numbers, I really did. I wanted to make Charlie and Don DO IT, but I couldn't get past the fact that the two of them are pretty law abiding and it would be pretty much the last thing they would consider when the world ended. Dira Sudis wrote pretty much the best and only example (with a few exceptions) in that fandom of a story that convinced me utterly and completely and forever that Charlie and Don were meant for each other.
Brothers are hard, you know to get into bed, and it's not that for any given fan who's jiggy with it, and there's another who figures we're all going to burn in hell for even considering it. It's just that finding ways to overcome that taboo, with enough force to make it believable, possible, AND in character. And that's not why i want to pick up SGA, I think Sam and Dean are, frankly, the perfect messed up, hell, FUCKED up couple that ever sashayed across my TV screen. They're so messed up that to me for them not to be together would be the miracle. They're up in each other's grill and business all the time, and it makes sense.
But I've done them, and made them do each other, and I'm happy that I found a way to let them fall in love.
So, in SGA, you know how you do (or at least I do) when you watch a new show and consider whether or not you'll find yourself immersed in that culture....you wonder who you'll like and which one of them will like each other. You know, like that.
When I started I didn't know a wraith dart from a puddle jumper, I didn't know what a BDU was, and I had no idea about why this city on the sea on another planet would be so interesting. I pretty much stayed away; Supernatural took my heart and taught me things and made me look at dive motels, and rock music, and black Impalas in a whole new light. What on earth, when I had all that, would I need some dumb pseudo-sci-fi show that was just a spin off of another show which was a spin off of a movie? (Well, the original movie had James Spader in it, so that was something to remember.)
Finally, I saw a songvideo called Another Sunday, by jesscaflowne, which you can find here:
http://jescaflowne.livejournal.com/76458.html
I remember thinking about that video a great deal, when I saw it two years ago, and I thought in the back of my mind that there had to be something to a show that this vidder made such a great vid for - and put so much thought into and took a goofy song by a band that frankly I felt had sold out...and made this musical commentary that was both hilarious and pointed at the same time. I couldn't tell you who anyone was in the video, only that there seemed to be a lot of these four characters, whose names I didn't know...you know the drill. You're drawn in and you don't know why.
Okay, let's flash forward to now, when I've see the videos, (and I know who everyone is in that vid finally!), and read a lot of fic, some fantastic fic...I could name you so many that I've enjoyed and adored and read again, and then again after that. Some of the fic is goofy and just fluffy and a lot of it is funny, comedy runs deep in this fandom and the desire to emulate the subtle jokes and riffs in many of the episodes, and some of the writers do a great job.
But this isn't a post about me telling you what my favorite fic was, because you could go to any good rec list and find all kinds off good stuff. Maybe at the end of this post I'll include those rec lists...but it's wide open and your taste might not be the same as mine.
Anyway, as you may or may not know, when a writer starts reading in any given fandom, sooner or later, she's going to want to write one of her own, either because what she's reading sucks (in her opinion) or is not just exactly what she needs or, usually, because the writing is SO good she wants to reach for the stars. I would say in this fandom, it's a little bit of "not exactly" what I need in SGA as sometimes there's a little too much fluff and not enough torture, but I think that's the nature of the fandom.
Ever notice how some fandoms just don't have room for tentacle fic and some fandoms have nothing but? I think fandoms have trends and flavors, and in SGA the trend is fluff and funny and romantic, the latter of which I have, to my surprise, grown to love. Romantic fanfic! Like, Harlequin romantic, or based on Romantic films, and I just never thought I'd see the day. But mostly, it's because the talent and scope of the writers in this fandom is high, the bench is high, the writers are the top of the tree, and I would like to be there. Even though, as my friend amalthia keeps reminding me, I don't really need to worry about how the characters will get to any given planet because the Stargates will take them pretty much anywhere and ALL (or most) of the planets have them.
I'm reading along and thinking of plots and wondering where I'll go with it all. Oh, yes, I found my pairing right away, duh. It's Rodney and John. I realize there are other pairings and far be it from me to tell anyone (ever) who to slash, but for me, it's Rodney and John. On screen, they are always flirting with their eyes and making smirky looks at each other, and saving each other's lives, and when one of them is hurt, YUP, the other one is in the infirmary with them. They practically hold hands. It's not deep but it's a mile wide but there's plenty there to pick and choose and develop.
Overall I'm good with Rodney and John as lovers. I like first time stories best (always have), don't much care for established fic unless there's an issue that arises between the two of them, but usually established fic is about something sci fi, like a battle or a spaceship or people in pods...but I really prefer it to be about THEM and their relationship. I just like watching them fall in love over and over and over again. I like it in the fic when they're in Character, and in this fandom, I think it's harder than it looks, so my hat's off to writers who get it like I think it should be, although I'm always open to a new perspective.
But here's my ponderings......many days now. Asking Amalthia over and over until she tells me to quit bugging her and find something new to obsess over. Two years ago it was Missing Persons. Last year it was City of the Seven Walls. And now this question. You ready?
Okay. Here goes.
When I was in K/S fandom, I could see exactly why Kirk and Spock were in love. They were soul mates; from different planets, yes, but soul mates, gypsies of the stars, always looking up and out and madly in love the whole time. I never saw it any other way.
In Starsky and Hutch fandom, the slash wrote itself. Starsky and Hutch LOVED each other to bits, even on the episodes, their hands were always all over each other all the time. The actors even said it was a love story about two people who happened to be cops. It was a love fest! And very easy to write slash.
Bodie and Doyle (The Professionals) was a little harder, only because they were British and the Brits (at least on TV) have a different way of interacting. I did write two stories about them, but never finished or posted because I couldn't figure out how to do the Bodie and Doyle of "I love you" and a happy ending. They're so rugged and hard and tough, they're trained to be killers, to protect England from terrorists. I did a lot of reading about terrorists back in those days, particularly a book called The Rescuers: The World's Top Anti-Terrorist Units by Leroy Thompson. The most remarkable thing that I remember about this book was that when it talked about the British anti-terrorist unit, they were so well trained that they could basically pull off a rescue with an axe and a coil of rope.
After that it was...Blake and Avon, but they weren't in love, and any sex would be angry sex.
Then there was Sam and Dean, those messed up little perverts. : D
So SGA. Rodney and John. A lot of romantic stories, fluffy stories, with a few darker ones like "City of the Seven Walls" and "Indelible" and so on...I'll admit I'm enjoying pretty much all of it, if it's John/Rodney centric and a first time scenario. The variety always surprises me.
But recently in reading the romantic ones (and there are a LOT), I noticed a trend. I'll talk about the trend by talking about the characters.
First John. He's hot. He's a hero. He's a pilot! He's got bed hair even when he's not in bed. He's tan, lithe, sexy, smoky, pretty much unavailable, unobtainable, mysterious, in short, he's PERFECT. And he's smart. Did I mention smart? Yeah. Secretly smart, so it's no wonder that anyone, be it space alien princess or Canadian scientist would fall in love with him. Did I mention smoking hot and smoldering with bedroom eyes even when he's in a meeting? Basically, I have no problem with thinking that Rodney would fall for him. Hard. I almost did, truly. He's sexy, and that's a fact.
It doesn't matter if Rodney is straight (though so many writers have him being bi-sexual for some reason), he falls for John and he falls hard and usually he expects to get hurt (and John hurts him, though not on purpose) and writers love dragging Rodney for a scrape across the rocks till he's raw and vulnerable and has got that big, blue eyed boy look going on....so who wouldn't want to be Rodney falling in love with John? No one.
But say for example, that you are a Rodney fan, as I am. I like Rodney because I have a thing for milky pale, broad shouldered, dense thighed, incredibly SMART men, so Rodney, yeah I clapped eyes on him and thought that I could cook around the citrus issue, surely. And maybe I'd get him a piano so he could take that up again. (The one thing I love is that every single writer, to a man and a woman, if they bring up the issue of the piano teacher telling a 12-year old Rodney that he can't play because he has no heart for it? Every one of them finds a way to bring a piano on stage so Rodney can play it and so that John can support him playing it. I love fandom.)
Aside from the fact that so many writers write John gay (and here's the main pondering) why would John fall in love with Rodney? Whether John is straight (and to me there's no evidence - even with that hair - that he's not), or whether he's bi, bi-curious, or gay as a gay thing, why would he fall for a milky pale, broad shouldered, dense thighed, incredibly SMART man?. Just because I would and do and have, doesn't mean John would. Or is. Or has.
First off, John seems asexual to me. A woman comes on to him in some castle and he mutters that he never sees it coming. Which is hard to believe, given his good looks and home-boy charm....so it kind of tells me he doesn't see it coming because he's not interested. I'd be willing to be dissuaded from this point of view, however. I'm not married to it, I'm just trying to work my way through my confusion.
And really, John could have anyone he wants. Anyone, anywhere, anytime. Not to mention that the whole gay-military problem that was in full swing at the time - would John actually risk his career to have sex with a guy like Rodney? Mmmm......
I'm not dissing Rodney. Like I said, I like guys like Rodney. A man with brains is the biggest turnon, and add to that a pair of pretty eyes, and expressive hands and he's CANADIAN to boot...did I ever tell you about the time I went out with Bryan from Toronto? When I met him he was playing the bagpipes at a nearby Scottish festival and he was wearing a KILT. Oh lord. And yes, we went into the heather, so to speak....
Anyway, Rodney is not typical handsome. He's not TV beautiful and I don't think the character was meant to be. Of course, what we love we find beautiful, so I like his looks just fine. In fact, I like them a LOT.
Part of my problem is that Rodney's looks are a huge issue. And I think they should be. But not to John.
God, what a ramble this is turning out to be. It made more sense in the car on the way home.....
I've recently read a string of stories by an writer...and she's good, I like her stuff, it's romantic and angsty and the characters behave like real people, and if they get mad or messed up, they try and fix it the next day, or talk about it, and they keep trying until love happens. I wouldn't mind my life being like it is in her stories. Except for the soul-sucking wraith, of course.
But her writing made me realize something that she was doing, and something that a lot of writers in SGA do, so maybe it's part of the flavor of this particular fandom. But I don't like it...it makes me uncomfortable because it flies in the face of what I think love should be for these two.
So say for example, Rodney and John are coming together, and they're about to take their clothes off (because YES, it's that kind of story! Is there any other kind???) And Rodney is shy because he's got a soft tummy, and John thinks...oh hey, I love this guy so I should love his stomach too. So he says something like, Oh, I like soft tummies! And Rodney believes him because John's an honest sort....and on it goes.
But it sometimes sounds like John's saying what Rodney needs to hear, and even though he loves Rodney, he's not really turned on by the tummy but he makes himself be turned on. But it comes across like the writer is going through an Extra Big Hoop to a) acknowledge Rodney's lack of hero physique and b) Make it Very Clear that it Doesn't Matter to John. It's as though the writers feel like they HAVE to do this in order to validate the fact that these guys are in love even though Rodney isn't hot. It's not a matched pair, like Sam and Dean, where you have a hard time deciding between the two. Even if you like Sam or Dean, you can easily say, yes the other one is pretty too. But in SGA that's not (conventionally) true, and the writers have to "show their work" and PROVE that Rodney's looks don't matter. I'm not saying all the writers do this, but a lot do.
But by that time....I'm jerked out of the story, no matter how hard the writer tries to convince me that this is what John's reaction would be to Rodney's shyness. Out-of-shape-ness.
Oh sure, I can totally buy it if John can be made to make a flippant comment, so very much John, about it. But no. John says these things about tummies so very seriously...and I can't believe that, because John, he's either flippant or silent. Or if Rodney blows up 5/6ths of a galaxy, THEN he yells.
So why oh why? WHYYYYYYY????? Why would John fall in love with Rodney. I've thought about it till I'm tired of thinking about it. I just want to write my story, okay?
Here's what I think. So Rodney is smart, and he likes John because John is nice to him. That's how it starts. But John is nice to everyone, even if he doesn't like them, at least to start, because....it's his way. He doesn't care to get to know you, so he's nice to you because it simply doesn't matter to him. If he needs to trade with you or use your Stargate, he'll throw in a little flirting and flex his muscles, and really, you can't resist him. But underneath all that, he's smart. Scary smart and he hides it because being that smart is hard to do. So when Rodney finds out that John is smart, well, I think that's a turnon for Rodney. Plus...John tends to let Rodney be Rodney, he lets all of Rodney's irritating habits slide right off him, and, best of all John can keep up with Rodney in the smarts department. Easy to see why Rodney would fall for John. Easy.
Of course between them, Rodney and John have the same sense of humor, the same sense of right and wrong, the same fascination with discovering strange new worlds and new civilizations...so they're friends, pretty much right away.
As for John. Here's the cool kid on the block, athletic, smart, sexy, tanned, lithe, etc. etc. Why would he fall in love with what is basically the fat kid of the gang? (and Rodney's not fat, I'm just trying to make a point here). Here's what I think. First of all. Rodney knows John's smart, so John doesn't hide that. And in spite of John's good looks, Rodney is more interested in talking to John and being with John and having adventures with John...and I'm not saying Rodney doesn't have an eye for a pretty face, but when he looks at John, he sees JOHN. He's not trying to get something from John, never asks him to be something he's not, isn't trying to trick John in bed....he just wants to BE with JOHN. So I think John responds to that....and that's why he falls in love. Not because of what Rodney looks like and not in SPITE of what Rodney looks like, but because of who Rodney is and how he makes John feel.
Besides, I hate those stories where these potentially straight guys suddenly say "OH he's so HOT, what a great ASS he's got, I can't wait to stick my COCK into that ass!"
So John falls in love with Rodney because Rodney has zero expectations, absolutely no guile (except when trying to get chocolate, coffee or a zed pm, and even then, he's hopeless) and because Rodney, with Rodney, you get what you see. John can trust Rodney to be himself, and so that let's John be himself. And I think for John, not having to pretend to be something he's not, not to have to put on a "show" is a huge plus for him.
As I was driving home, I thought about John's little team...and figured that with Ronan, John sees himself, large parts of himself, the soldier, the athlete, the hunter, the strong and the brave....with Teyla, John sees all those morals and ethics and calmness and focused energy, and he wants to rise to the level that Teyla has set. But with Rodney....it's more like Rodney is John's barometer on how safe the world is. Is Rodney complaining and babbling? Then the world is safe. Is he silent and wide eyed? Then the world is not safe. But it's not about how Rodney looks, although, like I mentioned, what we love we find attractive, it's because of all the things that Rodney is and all the things that he just accepts in John.
And lastly, Rodney is "home" to John. Hearth and home.
I didn't think this idea until I read this one story. It's called...The Price That Life Extracts by Cathalin, and you can find it here:
http://sites.google.com/site/cathalinspuddle/home/sgafic/the-price
or here:
http://sgabigbang.talkoncorners.net/?id=38&view=fic
I almost didn't read this fic because when I started reading it, John was missing. I don't like the characters on their own (unless they're brooding and angsting about each other on a windswept balcony....), and Rodney was so miserable because John's been gone a year and I hate seeing him like that, thinking John was dead. But lo, a baby appears, and it's John's and eventually Rodney finds John, and the story picks up the idea that earlier (before the story began) Rodney and John had a little standing up sex after a tough mission and after that, right after that, John disappeared, and so the sex went unresolved.
Luckily, I stuck with it, and got SUCKED in HARD. God I love this story, and I'm not alone, lots of other readers did too. It's got everything, angst, arguments, blue jello, piano playing, and makeup sex. : D
So there's a point in the story where John's finally been home on Atlantis enough to relax and maybe, yeah, have some sex with Rodney....and during this scene (and a sweet scene it is), there's these two paragraphs:
John keeps staring down at his hands, hands which Rodney now sees are shaking. Rodney takes a deep breath and moves his hand slowly, cautiously, closer and closer to John's leg. John doesn't pull back, just sits there, so Rodney lets his hand keep going, coming to rest curled over John's knee. He can't help pressing a little, feeling the knob of John's knee bone, John's skin radiating heat through his BDUs. "What do you--?" Rodney begins, but he's interrupted by John surging around, sliding to his knees in front of Rodney, nuzzling his head up against Rodney's belly, rubbing his face across it and letting his lips catch, then slide, on his fraying t-shirt.
Rodney gasps and brings a hand up to touch John's hair tentatively, afraid that he isn't allowed this, but apparently he is, because John growls and slides his hands up, first Rodney's calves, then his thighs, to his fly. "I need," he says to Rodney's lap, and Rodney knows he won't stop this, not for anything, with the world fading out around John's dark head and hard hands, even though he knows it's wrong in so many ways he can't even begin to count them.
So in the middle of this bit, John rubs his head...or rather nuzzles his head against Rodney's belly. And it's a belly, not a flat six pack, not a stomach...it's a belly. The word itself says something about the shape of it, that it's soft and warm and cushy....and here John is, and that's the first thing John does. He doesn't kiss Rodney, he nuzzles his belly. As if that belly, and the thoughts of doing JUST THIS VERY THING were all that kept John sane in the year he was trapped in that alien spaceship, doing unspeakable things to alien women against his will. Only Rodney's belly kept him going, because to him it represents hearth and home, where everything's safe and warm and still. Even for a guy like John, who likes things that go very fast, all those adrenaline rush activities of the lithe and smoky, THIS belly is what he wants. All he wants. Seems like all he has ever wanted.
After I read this story...I waited a few days and read it again. You know how stories are. Sometimes they're better the first time, and later, because you know what's coming, they're good, but they're not AS good. This one? Just kept getting better, and I would find myself tightening up in anticipation when I would come closer to this particular scene, waiting for the moment when John would fall to his knees to nuzzle Rodney's belly. Of course SEX happens and other parts are nuzzled and licked and sucked and so on. But not once does John proclaim how he "likes" Rodney's softness. He loves Rodney and everything that Rodney is, and how Rodney looks isn't even an issue. And as long and Rodney and his belly are withing nuzzling distance, John's a happy guy.
And that's how love should be.
This entry was originally posted at http://lovesrain44.dreamwidth.org/4373.html.