Falling Apart
I know I cant be perfect. I know how far away i am from it, but i need to be. Maybe if I was a good daughter, maybe they wouldnt fight, maybe i wouldnt wake up to hear my father yelling in a drunken rage and i wouldnt dread coming home. Maybe i wouldn't have to cry, maybe i wouldnt be falling apart. I wouldnt have to know my weaknessess. I dont want to cry anymore. It hurts too much. I wish i wasn't the one that was helping to tear my family apart. I'm still holding onto the childish hope that I'll hear "I love you" one more time. That one day dad will be proud of me again. One day he will realize that i'm worth something. But i'm not. There is nothing left of the old jessica. I'm slowly tearing at the seams and i cant stay together anymore. I have no ambition, no feelings, no motivation. I want to feel again. I cant live with the suffocating numbness. I'm drowning and I dont want to.
Katie, Taylor, Dula and Steph. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry.
grounded from the computer on weekdays till school gets out
Katie, Taylor, Dula and Steph. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry.
grounded from the computer on weekdays till school gets out