Ugg

Jan 28, 2006 19:19

I am so frustrated right now. Fathers are such a pain in the ass. On father doesn't ever see Elijah, calls up after 3 weeks and was like, how is he. To me that doesn't show much of an interest. I never wanted any of this crap for any of my kids. I expected something totally different than what I got, for my kids. Elijah is his only son and from how Elijah acts he'd be better off without his dad. All Elijah says when Teresa and I go anywhere is "No Daddy", if we go too far east especially. He remembers things on the way to Post Falls.
Crystal's dad thinks that he can just fucking "school" me on raising our daughter. Crystal and I do the your a turd thing just to play around and he heard us talking on the phone and immediately takes the phone and starts lecturing me like I'm his fucking kid. He doesn't have room to talk at all. He told her at age 4 that I put him in jail and she was so mad at me for so long, which of course with her he doesn't want to look like the bad guy so he doesn't tell her the whole truth. He boxes with her and his response is that at the age of 5 she needs to learn how to defend herself... what the fuck is that about.. 5 years old...OMG!! Jesus... that is such bullshit.. well i teach her that she doesn't hit first.. WTF she doesn't understand that, nor does she need to know that yet...
Austin's dad isn't really doing anything wrong.. he is getting out of the National Guard in March.. he will be moving from OR to Nampa ID, which is actually closer.. he wants us to make a decision on who Austin should live with, but no matter how hard I try, I can't be unselfish about it.. I think in the long run Austin would be better off being here with us for now, because he is going to have to start all over again. He will be living with his sister, her family and his parents. He'll have to find a new job, save up and get a new place.. besides that all of us want him here.. we all miss him.. I never go a day without thinking about him and missing him... his dad has had so much time with him and I get summers except for last year, I got him during the school year. I haven't seen him since May of 2005.. it is heartbreaking.
I miss Teresa, she has to work, we all have to do that.. I hate the shifts.. but oh well... she always makes things so much better, she comforts me and talks me thru things, instead of letting me get like this.. to where i can't think straight, too many thoughts going thru my brain. That is one reason I love her so much.. she is so wonderful in so many ways.
enough for now.
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