(no subject)
Argh. Upset. Bleh.
Not sure why I really expected guys to understand.. I just wish they did sometimes. My fella told me today that he asked a female coworker to go on a "platonic" outing and it just... it really bends me out of shape. I mean I really want to fully trust him but there is just something niggling at me in a "what if" manner. I know that we can never really know for sure that someone isn't going to hurt us but like... idk.
I am extremely insecure and I know it. I'm never pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough... this girl... just is. She's totally prettier than I am and though he says I'm what he wants... I can't help but feel like that wouldn't stop him if he found something better. It's more than that though, he's so amazing and I just kind of feel like i'm not good enough for him... like being with me brings him down a notch or something.. argh. And now i feel like an asshole for making it difficult for him to go anywhere with this girl. I don't want him to go out with her but I feel like i'm being controlling if I tell him not to. I really hate this. I don't understand why having guy friends isn't enough... nope. he has to befriend pretty girls. I hated the way she talked to me at Publix too "Oh how did you guys meet? online? oh that's so cute ... yea i have your cute right here bitch. I want to be okay with this but... I just can't. I mean, why does he want to hang out with other girls anyway? It almost feels like the beginning of the end...
Not sure why I really expected guys to understand.. I just wish they did sometimes. My fella told me today that he asked a female coworker to go on a "platonic" outing and it just... it really bends me out of shape. I mean I really want to fully trust him but there is just something niggling at me in a "what if" manner. I know that we can never really know for sure that someone isn't going to hurt us but like... idk.
I am extremely insecure and I know it. I'm never pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough... this girl... just is. She's totally prettier than I am and though he says I'm what he wants... I can't help but feel like that wouldn't stop him if he found something better. It's more than that though, he's so amazing and I just kind of feel like i'm not good enough for him... like being with me brings him down a notch or something.. argh. And now i feel like an asshole for making it difficult for him to go anywhere with this girl. I don't want him to go out with her but I feel like i'm being controlling if I tell him not to. I really hate this. I don't understand why having guy friends isn't enough... nope. he has to befriend pretty girls. I hated the way she talked to me at Publix too "Oh how did you guys meet? online? oh that's so cute ... yea i have your cute right here bitch. I want to be okay with this but... I just can't. I mean, why does he want to hang out with other girls anyway? It almost feels like the beginning of the end...