(no subject)
So. I met this guy last month and... he's really nice to me. His name is Jon and like, I can't really believe that it's been a month already... it feels like we just met but at the same time feels like i've known him forever. I'm scared. I don't want to feel this way... I'm still bitter over jerkface. I wouldn't say life is getting easier but I am certainly feeling a little more content with it at least. I have to go to Valencia to sign up for classes/get financial aid and I know it's such an easy task but I'm literally in a sweat over it. I don't know what the deal is, my suspicion is it's the distance I would have to drive to get there. But really, I think it's the fact that the closest campus is in Winter Park and going there always makes me feel uncomfortable. It's not like I expect to see him there but like... what if I ran into him while getting lunch or something, what would I do/say? I truly don't think I could say anything. I think if it came down to it, I would grab my shit and run out the door because really what is there to say anyway? I'm screwed. I am really hoping that Juan will agree to go to campus with me when he gets back because otherwise I think I'll just chicken out like I normally do. Ugh. Sometimes just being me is extremely tiring. *headdesk* Rahrahrah. I should never have quit my job. I should never have quit my counseling. I justified it to myself that it was okay to quit because my boss was mean and I would find another soon just like I justified that I was driving too far to counseling. Which I mean, I was... but really it was all about jerkface.