As you read it is as it was written
I guess
the thing is I'm thinking of deleting my journals here, admittedly shock horror, I just don't see the point, I would
like to say that I've made great friends here, what consitutes great friends ? So I read journal entries you make
every day and comment on them, some abitary shit and who knows what
I mean I know people here, chat with a couple
I guess I'm a freak, don't contradict me, I am, I know it, you know it's not this freak that people point at
and make weird remarks but I'm different, fucking different and the rejection I get in my life isn't because
people don't like me or have reason to beware it mean it's simply because they don't understand me, I have news for this
world, I don't understand me
I chat to a few
Sometimes you just click with people, certain people, the honest truth is there are people that I have on my so called
friends list that I've known for over 2 years yet a person I recently added I feel closer too, just because he
is free(if you get that you get that, if not whatever), I thought of not mentioning his name because well just
because but the honest truth is he deserves to have his name mentioned, Mattie love you, truly truly love you.
I don't know, I'm rambling now, if you have read this far well done, I find it pointless, my entire bonding 'method'
is built around face to face interactions
So I get caught between going you're never actually going to make real friends here because you're not good
at making friends this way and going you love each and every one of these people and no matter how much you suck
at this you don't want to leave and I don't, I love reading each journal and hearing about your lives, what you did
on the weekend, the foreign movie you watched, that you're sick, the crush on the gardener, the fact that your pet hamster
gave birth when you didn't even know she was pregnant........I love that, I love knowing you to some degree but I
detest that that degree stops someplace far ahead of where I'd like it to and that I lay full blame for that
at my door not yours.