RP LOG with thinbluegee | Reluctant Revelations
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS and THIS]
Euan didn't know whether he felt more crap before, or after waking up in hospital again. Last time there had been no surgery, just a whole lot of awesome drugs. Ironically, considering he had probably had every illegal substance in his body at some point in his life in the past, and it turns out to be surgical anaesthetic that leaves him feeling like chopped dogs balls. After the initial aggravation of waking up in another hospital bed in agony, he had settled down into a slightly subdued fuming and asked the nurse for more sedatives because he felt like shit. He knew he must be in a semi-serious condition when she not only agreed, but offered him another dose of morphine. He took both, and was out like a light.
It was now the following morning and he woke a little less abruptly now, oddly enough finding himself in a private room. Talk about the fucking Twilight Zone. Maybe he had died and this was Hell's waiting room. God himself knew that Euan would never have a ticket through the Pearly Gates. He tried to stretch, but pain shot through his torso and with a strained groan, thought twice about much more movement. After a few groggy blinks, he realised it might he a private room, but he wasn't alone. Gee was sitting by the window, staring out at the bleak rainy day, a boring looking magazine lying in her lap. "I had a dream about this once. Only, you had more cleavage, and nurse's uniform with suspenders," he joked weakly.
Gee smiled as she shut the magazine and got up out of her chair. Since Euan had surfaced and been shifted to the private room she'd been sitting vigil by his bedside, only leaving if Vee was there to take over, and only just so that she could go home and change. She had no partner right then, and they hadn't been in the middle of any cases, so she'd managed to wing some leave. She sat on the side of his bed, careful not to get in the way of any wires, or his sore side. "Oh really, well, here, I can at least fulfil some of that." Gee readjusted her top and cleavage to give him a better view. She dropped her hand to slide her fingers between his and her smile grew. "I think we've met like this before. I seem to remember tongue fucking an Irishman just like you."
Euan tilted his head a little with a smirk. "Hm, it'll do," he teased, pushing the covers down a little as he tried to get a bit more of a comfortable position in the bed. "As much as I hate to say it, love, please don't mention fucking in any form to me right now. I don't think I can even feel my cock. Do I still have it? I'm scared to fucking check." He only had vague recollections of a nurse telling him why he was in there, but it was hazy. He wasn't actually sure he wanted to buy that the amount of pain he had been in could be factored to a fucking appendix.
Gee leaned forward to kiss his brow as she pushed his hair back from his forehead. It was growing longer, but Gee had to admit it suited him; added to his roguish charm. She pulled back a little to tuck back his covers and tilted her head as she lifted up his gown to do a visual check. "Oh, it's definitely there, gorgeous. I promise I won't talk about fucking. We'll talk about whatever you wanna talk about, love." She put his gown back down as she pulled the covers back up just a little bit and took his hand again. "You alright?"
"I'm always alright," Euan returned reflexively, glancing down at their hands. "Thinking about what chances I have of checking myself out of here and telling them to stick their morphine pump up their fucking arses, to be honest." He paused and looked at her warily, almost like he was waiting for her to say something... expecting her to say something. Vee would have by now. Actually, anyone probably would have. As soon as his sister arrived, he figured she would have a hell of a lot to say. The thing was, he knew that just before he was given more painkillers, a nurse had taken some strange round of tests, and Euan had been a detective long enough to know they were tox screening him. The question was, did they think he was an addict, or were they looking for something else?
Gee arched an eyebrow. "No, you're not. You were sick and you didn't say anything. You were feeling shit throughout the whole fucking interview and you didn't breathe a word. People thought you were poisoned because you liked to your best friend about a scar. You didn't already have your appendix out, and you're staying put. I'm not watching you risk a post-op infection, or ripping the surgical wound open. I need you to be okay."
Euan rested his head back against the mound of hospital pillows, sighing slightly. But his eyes soon moved back to her, and he had a faint smirk on his lips. Talk about an avalanche of shit hitting fans when he was unconscious. He didn't need to be a genius to know that Gee's short explanation probably led to a fuck lot more complications than it sounded. For one, Vee. That was going to be an interesting conversation when he had it. Second, it had to have been Devlin who had the poisoning suspicions. Euan did barf on him, afterall, and any good detective would probably jump to that conclusion, especially if Vee had been all with the past appendix thing. "Sounded good at the time," he offered with a small shrug. "Would have had to have been one fuck of an appendix, though. Bloody backdoor surgeons using serated scalpels."
Gee's gaze dropped to Euan's torso as she thought about the scar that she knew intimately. It was hard not to. Just like she knew every inch of tattoos. She dipped her head to kiss the corner of his mouth. "You were stabbed," she offered quietly. She'd just never questioned the scar because it was just a part of him. She'd been curious, but not enough to push her luck if he decided not to talk about it.
Euan nodded and then shrugged again. "Aye, I was. A long time ago. A lifetime ago, even." He cleared his throat, feeling tired to have this part of his past revisited. If only his appendix hadn't gone and exploded, things probably would have just gone on like they always had and he could go on keeping it all where it belonged... in the past.
Gee pulled back to reach for the plastic cup with the straw sitting in it, and held it in front of Euan so he could take a sip of water if he wanted. "A lot can change from who we were to who we are now."
Euan took a small sip of the water and then wet his lips. "It's a reminder of what I don't want to be anymore, plain and simple. I wake up every day, see that, and thank fucking god I'm not where I was then." He was quiet for a few moments, a small frown on his face. "I know what you're thinking, you want to know why Vee doesn't know. When you think she knows me in and out. She doesn't. No one does. Not even my bloody relatives."
Gee set the water back down and brushed her fingers over Euan's forehead. "Stop being so bloody psychic. You've had surgery, and you still read my like a book. It's not fair. Why should I be so open to you, and you keep yourself shut off. Until I ask questions, and you decide to deem them worthy of answering. I'm really not going to quiz you about it. Or about anything. I'm just glad you didn't explode. You had me fucking worried. I was ready to piss my trousers when Matt came and told me. Well, after I got angry about you not telling me you felt like crap. But we had a job to do."
"Aye, we did," Euan agreed pointedly. He couldn't help it if his reason for existing in a lot of the recent years was his work, and that the reason why he had become the detective he was because he had so much first-hand experience with criminals... had been one. "I thought I ate something dodgy. It went from tolerable to really fucking not quicker than I could keep up. I didn't know what was going on, but we sill had a job to do. I..." he hesitated for a moment and then met her gaze evenly, "I'm used to operating alone. I deal with my own shit."
"Even after years of having partners?" Gee frowned a little as she looked at his face, her eyes searching his as she sucked on her bottom lip. "But a work partner's different. You don't have to be personally close to them. Not really. You just need to know that you can work together. This is operating on a different level. This is... dating?" Gee couldn't help it when the conclusion sounded more like a question. "You don't even deal with your shit with Vee?"
As long as she was asking questions, he would answer them. It's a promise he had made to her, and he had no intentions of renegging on that. It was just a long time since he really spoke about himself to anyone, not like this. It was usually revolving around work or sex. Or if he was with family, it was about family. He was groggy and tired in the wake of the surgery, and was finding he didn't have the usual stamina for talking people in circles that he normally would. The thing was, unless they asked him straight question, he never gave straight answers, probably to infuriating annoyance. But he had come so used to deflecting that it was second-nature now. "Never really had any shit to deal with then. It's not often anything happens to me, it's usually me there when shit is happening to other people. There wasn't ever a need for things in the past to come up. She never asked, we just got on with it."
Gee smiled a little as she looked at him. "Which you're really good at. You're good at being the comforter. That doesn't mean you can't be the comfortee when you need it. It's okay to need someone. I get that your past didn't come up, I really do. I'm not so sure Vee's going to see it that way to start with. She's been here. Helping watch over you. Occasionally though I was sure I was going to walk in on her slapping you." Gee tried to keep her tone light in an attempt to be teasing, but the truth was she really had thought Vee would slap an unconscious Euan on a couple of occasions.
Euan rested his head back again. He exhaled slowly, a few different things crawling through his mind now. "She knows I have a past with narcotics. Was involved with them on some level, but I never elaborated. She never asked. I'm not even saying I would have told her if she did, it was just like one of those subjects that remains unsaid and it's easier to remain unsaid. The thing is, I wouldn't have told her. As my partner, it would have put her in a difficult situation. I did things that, if she had knowledge of them as my partner, in certain situations she would have had no choice under American law but to reveal. I'm also not saying those situations would have ever arisen, but we're talking here something like if a perp tried to frame me, planted drugs on me. You've gotta understand that in a precinct like New York, things can get pretty cut-throat. London has nothing on it. American drug laws are zero tolerance. If Vee knew about my past and my standing as a copper was ever compromised, she would have no choice but revealing knowledge of my past if she had it. It would have put us both at risk." His eyes searched over Gee's face as he paused for a few moments. "I also didn't want her to know just how deep I got in. It's a fucking miracle I ain't banged up right now. This was my wake up call," he told her, pointing to the side of his torso. "I could've told her it was from a stabbing, but you know Vee. It just would've lead to an avalanche of questions."
"I think someone drinking their tea differently leads to an avalanche of questions," Gee replied with a wry smile. As detectives she was sure they were programmed to want to know every little detail of something, or someone, but Vee really did seem to be the queen of questioning. She was going to make a great PI for Tom's firm. Gee shifted to rest her hand on the other side of Euan's waist as she leaned over him, her readjusted cleavage still very much on display. "You don't have to tell me the details, you know. Not more than you already have. Technically I'm still your partner for a wee while, but I won't breathe a word. I promise. I'm sorry it took a knife to the side to wake you up, but in all honesty you should be proud of what you've achieved. Most people don't get a chance, or have the will to turn their life around. I'm pretty in awe of you sometimes, you know that?"
Euan sighed heavily and rolled his eyes with a dismissive wave of his hand. This was why he never talked to anyone about himself or his feelings. He hated being placated. They bitched and moaned about wanting information and about him being secretive and not saying anything, but when he did, they were placating him by not wanting details and not pushing him for more information. He hated the whole, oh you'll tell me if you want me to know bullshit. He started to open up to her, scratching the surface of what it was all about, and she about-turns with not wanting to more details? Fuck that. He didn't need anyone telling him he should be fucking proud of himself, either. He was starting to get aggravated by the while thing. By landing in hospital, and by needing surgery, and by his past being dragged up so abruptly before he had a chance to process it. "You're not my partner. I'm out. I probably won't even be in the same station as you when I go back." He cleared his throat, and found himself looking anywhere but her. "I'm tired."
Gee frowned at the change in Euan. She hadn't meant to placate him, she just hadn't wanted to rush him into spilling his guts about his past when he was still hurting from the surgery. Hospital wasn't easy on him, and she really didn't want to make it any worse for him. Of course him dismissing her like he was only served to piss her off. She sat up and tucked her boobs back into her shirt so she was no longer busting out of it, and slipped off the bed. "Right, well. I hope you feel better." She picked up her jacket hanging over the back of the chair by the window and gave him a nod as she headed for the door. "Sweet dreams, Detective Sergeant."
"Night," Euan returned as he went to look out the window. London views sucked, and he was beginning to think this whole relationship thing did, too. He didn't get it, so maybe he just wasn't built for it afterall?
Word Count | 2,686
Euan didn't know whether he felt more crap before, or after waking up in hospital again. Last time there had been no surgery, just a whole lot of awesome drugs. Ironically, considering he had probably had every illegal substance in his body at some point in his life in the past, and it turns out to be surgical anaesthetic that leaves him feeling like chopped dogs balls. After the initial aggravation of waking up in another hospital bed in agony, he had settled down into a slightly subdued fuming and asked the nurse for more sedatives because he felt like shit. He knew he must be in a semi-serious condition when she not only agreed, but offered him another dose of morphine. He took both, and was out like a light.
It was now the following morning and he woke a little less abruptly now, oddly enough finding himself in a private room. Talk about the fucking Twilight Zone. Maybe he had died and this was Hell's waiting room. God himself knew that Euan would never have a ticket through the Pearly Gates. He tried to stretch, but pain shot through his torso and with a strained groan, thought twice about much more movement. After a few groggy blinks, he realised it might he a private room, but he wasn't alone. Gee was sitting by the window, staring out at the bleak rainy day, a boring looking magazine lying in her lap. "I had a dream about this once. Only, you had more cleavage, and nurse's uniform with suspenders," he joked weakly.
Gee smiled as she shut the magazine and got up out of her chair. Since Euan had surfaced and been shifted to the private room she'd been sitting vigil by his bedside, only leaving if Vee was there to take over, and only just so that she could go home and change. She had no partner right then, and they hadn't been in the middle of any cases, so she'd managed to wing some leave. She sat on the side of his bed, careful not to get in the way of any wires, or his sore side. "Oh really, well, here, I can at least fulfil some of that." Gee readjusted her top and cleavage to give him a better view. She dropped her hand to slide her fingers between his and her smile grew. "I think we've met like this before. I seem to remember tongue fucking an Irishman just like you."
Euan tilted his head a little with a smirk. "Hm, it'll do," he teased, pushing the covers down a little as he tried to get a bit more of a comfortable position in the bed. "As much as I hate to say it, love, please don't mention fucking in any form to me right now. I don't think I can even feel my cock. Do I still have it? I'm scared to fucking check." He only had vague recollections of a nurse telling him why he was in there, but it was hazy. He wasn't actually sure he wanted to buy that the amount of pain he had been in could be factored to a fucking appendix.
Gee leaned forward to kiss his brow as she pushed his hair back from his forehead. It was growing longer, but Gee had to admit it suited him; added to his roguish charm. She pulled back a little to tuck back his covers and tilted her head as she lifted up his gown to do a visual check. "Oh, it's definitely there, gorgeous. I promise I won't talk about fucking. We'll talk about whatever you wanna talk about, love." She put his gown back down as she pulled the covers back up just a little bit and took his hand again. "You alright?"
"I'm always alright," Euan returned reflexively, glancing down at their hands. "Thinking about what chances I have of checking myself out of here and telling them to stick their morphine pump up their fucking arses, to be honest." He paused and looked at her warily, almost like he was waiting for her to say something... expecting her to say something. Vee would have by now. Actually, anyone probably would have. As soon as his sister arrived, he figured she would have a hell of a lot to say. The thing was, he knew that just before he was given more painkillers, a nurse had taken some strange round of tests, and Euan had been a detective long enough to know they were tox screening him. The question was, did they think he was an addict, or were they looking for something else?
Gee arched an eyebrow. "No, you're not. You were sick and you didn't say anything. You were feeling shit throughout the whole fucking interview and you didn't breathe a word. People thought you were poisoned because you liked to your best friend about a scar. You didn't already have your appendix out, and you're staying put. I'm not watching you risk a post-op infection, or ripping the surgical wound open. I need you to be okay."
Euan rested his head back against the mound of hospital pillows, sighing slightly. But his eyes soon moved back to her, and he had a faint smirk on his lips. Talk about an avalanche of shit hitting fans when he was unconscious. He didn't need to be a genius to know that Gee's short explanation probably led to a fuck lot more complications than it sounded. For one, Vee. That was going to be an interesting conversation when he had it. Second, it had to have been Devlin who had the poisoning suspicions. Euan did barf on him, afterall, and any good detective would probably jump to that conclusion, especially if Vee had been all with the past appendix thing. "Sounded good at the time," he offered with a small shrug. "Would have had to have been one fuck of an appendix, though. Bloody backdoor surgeons using serated scalpels."
Gee's gaze dropped to Euan's torso as she thought about the scar that she knew intimately. It was hard not to. Just like she knew every inch of tattoos. She dipped her head to kiss the corner of his mouth. "You were stabbed," she offered quietly. She'd just never questioned the scar because it was just a part of him. She'd been curious, but not enough to push her luck if he decided not to talk about it.
Euan nodded and then shrugged again. "Aye, I was. A long time ago. A lifetime ago, even." He cleared his throat, feeling tired to have this part of his past revisited. If only his appendix hadn't gone and exploded, things probably would have just gone on like they always had and he could go on keeping it all where it belonged... in the past.
Gee pulled back to reach for the plastic cup with the straw sitting in it, and held it in front of Euan so he could take a sip of water if he wanted. "A lot can change from who we were to who we are now."
Euan took a small sip of the water and then wet his lips. "It's a reminder of what I don't want to be anymore, plain and simple. I wake up every day, see that, and thank fucking god I'm not where I was then." He was quiet for a few moments, a small frown on his face. "I know what you're thinking, you want to know why Vee doesn't know. When you think she knows me in and out. She doesn't. No one does. Not even my bloody relatives."
Gee set the water back down and brushed her fingers over Euan's forehead. "Stop being so bloody psychic. You've had surgery, and you still read my like a book. It's not fair. Why should I be so open to you, and you keep yourself shut off. Until I ask questions, and you decide to deem them worthy of answering. I'm really not going to quiz you about it. Or about anything. I'm just glad you didn't explode. You had me fucking worried. I was ready to piss my trousers when Matt came and told me. Well, after I got angry about you not telling me you felt like crap. But we had a job to do."
"Aye, we did," Euan agreed pointedly. He couldn't help it if his reason for existing in a lot of the recent years was his work, and that the reason why he had become the detective he was because he had so much first-hand experience with criminals... had been one. "I thought I ate something dodgy. It went from tolerable to really fucking not quicker than I could keep up. I didn't know what was going on, but we sill had a job to do. I..." he hesitated for a moment and then met her gaze evenly, "I'm used to operating alone. I deal with my own shit."
"Even after years of having partners?" Gee frowned a little as she looked at his face, her eyes searching his as she sucked on her bottom lip. "But a work partner's different. You don't have to be personally close to them. Not really. You just need to know that you can work together. This is operating on a different level. This is... dating?" Gee couldn't help it when the conclusion sounded more like a question. "You don't even deal with your shit with Vee?"
As long as she was asking questions, he would answer them. It's a promise he had made to her, and he had no intentions of renegging on that. It was just a long time since he really spoke about himself to anyone, not like this. It was usually revolving around work or sex. Or if he was with family, it was about family. He was groggy and tired in the wake of the surgery, and was finding he didn't have the usual stamina for talking people in circles that he normally would. The thing was, unless they asked him straight question, he never gave straight answers, probably to infuriating annoyance. But he had come so used to deflecting that it was second-nature now. "Never really had any shit to deal with then. It's not often anything happens to me, it's usually me there when shit is happening to other people. There wasn't ever a need for things in the past to come up. She never asked, we just got on with it."
Gee smiled a little as she looked at him. "Which you're really good at. You're good at being the comforter. That doesn't mean you can't be the comfortee when you need it. It's okay to need someone. I get that your past didn't come up, I really do. I'm not so sure Vee's going to see it that way to start with. She's been here. Helping watch over you. Occasionally though I was sure I was going to walk in on her slapping you." Gee tried to keep her tone light in an attempt to be teasing, but the truth was she really had thought Vee would slap an unconscious Euan on a couple of occasions.
Euan rested his head back again. He exhaled slowly, a few different things crawling through his mind now. "She knows I have a past with narcotics. Was involved with them on some level, but I never elaborated. She never asked. I'm not even saying I would have told her if she did, it was just like one of those subjects that remains unsaid and it's easier to remain unsaid. The thing is, I wouldn't have told her. As my partner, it would have put her in a difficult situation. I did things that, if she had knowledge of them as my partner, in certain situations she would have had no choice under American law but to reveal. I'm also not saying those situations would have ever arisen, but we're talking here something like if a perp tried to frame me, planted drugs on me. You've gotta understand that in a precinct like New York, things can get pretty cut-throat. London has nothing on it. American drug laws are zero tolerance. If Vee knew about my past and my standing as a copper was ever compromised, she would have no choice but revealing knowledge of my past if she had it. It would have put us both at risk." His eyes searched over Gee's face as he paused for a few moments. "I also didn't want her to know just how deep I got in. It's a fucking miracle I ain't banged up right now. This was my wake up call," he told her, pointing to the side of his torso. "I could've told her it was from a stabbing, but you know Vee. It just would've lead to an avalanche of questions."
"I think someone drinking their tea differently leads to an avalanche of questions," Gee replied with a wry smile. As detectives she was sure they were programmed to want to know every little detail of something, or someone, but Vee really did seem to be the queen of questioning. She was going to make a great PI for Tom's firm. Gee shifted to rest her hand on the other side of Euan's waist as she leaned over him, her readjusted cleavage still very much on display. "You don't have to tell me the details, you know. Not more than you already have. Technically I'm still your partner for a wee while, but I won't breathe a word. I promise. I'm sorry it took a knife to the side to wake you up, but in all honesty you should be proud of what you've achieved. Most people don't get a chance, or have the will to turn their life around. I'm pretty in awe of you sometimes, you know that?"
Euan sighed heavily and rolled his eyes with a dismissive wave of his hand. This was why he never talked to anyone about himself or his feelings. He hated being placated. They bitched and moaned about wanting information and about him being secretive and not saying anything, but when he did, they were placating him by not wanting details and not pushing him for more information. He hated the whole, oh you'll tell me if you want me to know bullshit. He started to open up to her, scratching the surface of what it was all about, and she about-turns with not wanting to more details? Fuck that. He didn't need anyone telling him he should be fucking proud of himself, either. He was starting to get aggravated by the while thing. By landing in hospital, and by needing surgery, and by his past being dragged up so abruptly before he had a chance to process it. "You're not my partner. I'm out. I probably won't even be in the same station as you when I go back." He cleared his throat, and found himself looking anywhere but her. "I'm tired."
Gee frowned at the change in Euan. She hadn't meant to placate him, she just hadn't wanted to rush him into spilling his guts about his past when he was still hurting from the surgery. Hospital wasn't easy on him, and she really didn't want to make it any worse for him. Of course him dismissing her like he was only served to piss her off. She sat up and tucked her boobs back into her shirt so she was no longer busting out of it, and slipped off the bed. "Right, well. I hope you feel better." She picked up her jacket hanging over the back of the chair by the window and gave him a nod as she headed for the door. "Sweet dreams, Detective Sergeant."
"Night," Euan returned as he went to look out the window. London views sucked, and he was beginning to think this whole relationship thing did, too. He didn't get it, so maybe he just wasn't built for it afterall?
Word Count | 2,686