(no subject)

Nov 06, 2007 18:46

 i've been putting off writing this all day but i knew it had to be done.
i didn't walk into women's psychology today expecting to have my life turned upside down. one of the only friends i've met at dvc, a 20 year old friendly, amazing man named casey was no where to be seen. on his desk were flowers and a burning candle. i came in and sat down and had no idea what i was about to learn. kellyn, jenai, shannon manyak, melissa- jenai's cousin and i all have that class together and no one was prepared for today. everyone was quiet while kellyn asked "aw, did casey bring those flowers for me-what's going on?" a girl then gave us the news... that casey had been killed in a car accident last thursday night, november 1st, just a little bit before 10 o'clock at night. just because i'm a fucking gay piece of shit, i smile because i think this is a joke. i think that it's not possible for me to have seen casey literally 5 days before this and tell him to have a good weekend... and then for him to be dead. and just because humor is the way i deal with my emotions (if that hasn't been clear before). i can't recall having a more horrible, sad, more emotionally-draining day in my life. i can't put into words how terrible i feel for his mother. casey was all she had. she was a single mom and as far as i know, her only child. i can't put into words how anyone closer than me to casey feels. just being around him for-what a little more than half a semester, he touched my life. i have NEVER met someone so sincere or nice, or *respectful of women* in my 19 years on earth. since around 12:30 this afternoon, i've been in a daze. i keep thinking about casey. i keep thinking about the way we'd laugh just by looking at each other in class. he always caught my eye and made me smile. i keep thinking about how he offered us candy and food all the time just because he thought it'd be nice if we wanted some. he always thought about others and admired others in his life. i can't believe i'm so affected by this one person, but at least his time here was spent well. he very much influenced people's lives including my own and the lives of my girl friends. i will never forget how much this day has shaken me up and how much i value all the little things more than i did before, and value all the people i may not appreciate enough. people like casey who i thought i would see today in class. little did i know, thursday during our exam is the last time i would see him. luckily i'll always remember him as i last saw him: hard-working, friendly, fun, kind, funny, full of honor and life... the life of the party.  we'll never forget you casey chapman... not for as long as we live. oh and casey-you were super worried about the test in psych... the last thing you texted me was how scared/unprepared you felt for the exam... well brother man, you got an A :) we love you.
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