Not-Quite-Birthday Blues (gen)
Written for a prompt on Inspiration http://ateam-inspire.livejournal.com/1981.html?thread=921021#t921021
Murdock is a cuddler and will give hugs at the drop of a hat when someone's having a bad day.
No preference on pairing as long as the story is Murdock centric.
That first year on the run, of course there are times when all of them struggle. There are days on end spent driving, running really, then more days spent hiding in filthy motel rooms none of them would ever have considered before this strange new life. There are money worries, when they can’t find any suitable jobs. But through it all, they have each other, and they keep each other’s spirits up as much as they can. Of course, there are still certain days when things get too much for them, and Murdock watches out for those days, tries to make things a little better if he can, with a smile or a hug.
You’d think birthdays would be the worst of those bad days, but actually, as long as the four of them are together, they aren’t so bad. The four of them have been each other’s family for nearly nine years, have created memorable birthday parties in some of the strangest places in the world, so a cramped motel room with no aircon actually isn’t so bad.
It’s the not-quite-birthdays, as Murdock has started to think of them, those seem to hit the team hardest. It’s BA’s turn first, his Mama’s birthday. No way to be with her, not that first year when the chase is still so fresh. Of course, the guys arrange for him to call her, a prepaid phone they can throw away as soon as the call is made, all too aware that Mama Baracus almost certainly has her phone lines tapped, and the big man is jolly enough on the phone and afterwards. After all, it isn’t the first time he hasn’t been with her on her birthday, although for the last few years Murdock knows it isn’t coincidence that the team has gotten leave that week - that’s Face, hard at work, and BA probably knows it too, Hannibal certainly does, but it’s just one of those things the team does for each other they don’t talk about.
It’s that evening, as the team split to get ready for bed, the rare treat of two motel rooms rather than just the one, that’s when Murdock comes out of the bathroom to see his friend sat heavily on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor and looking lost. It’s strange to see the strong man looking so vulnerable, and the pilot doesn’t hesitate before crossing in front of his friend and tugging him upright, wrapping his arms as far around that big body as he can, squeezing tightly and resting his head on a muscular shoulder. For a moment, Murdock thinks he’s made a terrible mistake, as BA just tenses up.
“Crazy? What the hell - ?”
“She knows you’d be there if you could, Bosco,” he murmurs into that shoulder, keeping his arms locked. “She knows this isn’t your fault.”
Another moment, then he feels muscular arms come up to wrap around his skinny body. He hopes for a moment Bosco doesn’t squeeze too hard - that’s one sure way to get broken ribs - but instead they just stand there, hugging, and Murdock tries to put all the love and respect he feels for this man into that hug, all the things they don’t say to each other, burying their affection in play fights and arguments.
The hug could have gone on for ever, but BA pulls back first, dark eyes suspiciously moist but a small smile on his lips. Without a word, the two men keep on getting ready for bed, and it isn’t until Murdock flicks the light off that BA speaks up.
“I needed that. Thanks, brother.”
____________________
A few weeks later and they are getting better at the whole ‘on-the-run’ thing. Face has worked on some scams to get them actual houses rather than motels, BA has a van he loves dearly, his new ‘baby’, and Hannibal’s network of contacts is starting to provide a steady stream of job opportunities. Then, one week, Face just goes quiet.
It isn’t anything obvious at first, he’s just not himself, not quite as into the team’s usual banter. Of course, being Face, direct questions don’t get any answers, and all Murdock can do is keep watch and try to understand what is affecting his best friend.
The answer leaps into his mind the next night, so blindingly obvious he could have kicked himself for not realising sooner. This coming weekend will be Face’s Official Birthday. Not his Real Birthday - no one knows that, apart from his long-vanished parents - and not his Birthday, the day that Hannibal picked out for him back when Face first joined his regiment. The Official Birthday he never celebrates, the day he was found abandoned on the steps of the orphanage. Murdock has long wanted to kick the ass of whichever nun or priest thought that was a good idea. And of course this year it must hurt twice as much as normal - he knows how his friend’s mind works, knows he thinks his parents didn’t want him, and this year the Army didn’t want him anymore either. His blood family and the family he chose both abandoned him. No wonder the Faceman went quiet.
Slipping out of bed, Murdock pads through the silent house and out to the porch at the back. Sure enough, he sees his friend sat on the steps, shoulders hunched, clearly lost in thought. This time there are no words he can say to make things easier. This time, all he can offer is himself.
Sitting next to Face, as close as he can get, he immediately wraps both arm around his friend’s body, tugging him close. Face goes willingly into his embrace, not trying to bring his own arms up but just letting Murdock hug him. So that’s what Murdock does, letting his friend rest his head in the crook of his neck as he keeps his arms locked tight around those broad shoulders, starting to rock him ever so slightly when he hears Face’s slightly ragged breathing.
Face won’t cry, not over this, not after so many years, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Murdock sits for what must be an hour, hugging his friend, offering whatever comfort Face is prepared to accept. Suddenly aware of movement, he looks up to see the familiar silhouette of Hannibal Smith in the doorway, checking on his men, and offers the colonel a soft smile over his friend’s head. Hannibal just nods before going back inside, leaving Murdock to hug his best friend, soothing the hurt inside.
______________________
The following morning, and Murdock is up early, wandering into the kitchen and pouring himself a huge mug of coffee. Without really thinking about it, he wanders back out to the porch, surprised when he sees Hannibal leaning over the rail, coffee already in hand.
“And I thought I was the early bird,” he comments quietly, leaning on the door frame as Hannibal half turns.
“Too beautiful to sleep in,” comes the reply as their colonel turns back to the view. And it is a lovely view, all mountains and forests, but that isn’t the reason Hannibal is up early.
Murdock wonders if the man ever went back to bed last night. More likely he stayed up, even after Face pulled reluctantly away from Murdock’s embrace and went back to the room he shared with Hannibal. The colonel has been worried about his lieutenant all week, although he knows not to push too hard when it comes to Face. In fact, the colonel has always worried about all of them and recently he has had a lot to worry about, Face for starters, then before that BA had been down about his Mama’s birthday. In between, Murdock knows he didn’t help matters by having a little… episode of his own. Things all went purple for a week or two, never a good thing, and while he can’t really remember much about what went on for a few days, he knows it was Hannibal who stayed with him most of the time.
Coming to a decision, Murdock pops his mug down on the window sill then crosses over behind his colonel, wrapping both arms around the taller man’s waist and pressing himself full against that long, lean body. Even with Hannibal’s battle-honed instincts, the other man jumps a little, hot coffee splashing thankfully away from the rail.
Murdock hangs on as Hannibal shifts a little in his grasp, turning a little to look over his shoulder. “Murdock? You okay?”
“Mmm hmm,” he says, pressing his nose in between strong shoulderblades. “Just ‘cause, Colonel. Just, y’know, thought you needed it.”
Murdock can feel Hannibal’s chuckle vibrate through his body, pressed close as he is. Hannibal reaches up to wrap his big hands around Murdock’s own, locked around his waist as they are, and together they just stand there, watching the sun rise over the mountains.
Murdock is a cuddler and will give hugs at the drop of a hat when someone's having a bad day.
No preference on pairing as long as the story is Murdock centric.
That first year on the run, of course there are times when all of them struggle. There are days on end spent driving, running really, then more days spent hiding in filthy motel rooms none of them would ever have considered before this strange new life. There are money worries, when they can’t find any suitable jobs. But through it all, they have each other, and they keep each other’s spirits up as much as they can. Of course, there are still certain days when things get too much for them, and Murdock watches out for those days, tries to make things a little better if he can, with a smile or a hug.
You’d think birthdays would be the worst of those bad days, but actually, as long as the four of them are together, they aren’t so bad. The four of them have been each other’s family for nearly nine years, have created memorable birthday parties in some of the strangest places in the world, so a cramped motel room with no aircon actually isn’t so bad.
It’s the not-quite-birthdays, as Murdock has started to think of them, those seem to hit the team hardest. It’s BA’s turn first, his Mama’s birthday. No way to be with her, not that first year when the chase is still so fresh. Of course, the guys arrange for him to call her, a prepaid phone they can throw away as soon as the call is made, all too aware that Mama Baracus almost certainly has her phone lines tapped, and the big man is jolly enough on the phone and afterwards. After all, it isn’t the first time he hasn’t been with her on her birthday, although for the last few years Murdock knows it isn’t coincidence that the team has gotten leave that week - that’s Face, hard at work, and BA probably knows it too, Hannibal certainly does, but it’s just one of those things the team does for each other they don’t talk about.
It’s that evening, as the team split to get ready for bed, the rare treat of two motel rooms rather than just the one, that’s when Murdock comes out of the bathroom to see his friend sat heavily on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor and looking lost. It’s strange to see the strong man looking so vulnerable, and the pilot doesn’t hesitate before crossing in front of his friend and tugging him upright, wrapping his arms as far around that big body as he can, squeezing tightly and resting his head on a muscular shoulder. For a moment, Murdock thinks he’s made a terrible mistake, as BA just tenses up.
“Crazy? What the hell - ?”
“She knows you’d be there if you could, Bosco,” he murmurs into that shoulder, keeping his arms locked. “She knows this isn’t your fault.”
Another moment, then he feels muscular arms come up to wrap around his skinny body. He hopes for a moment Bosco doesn’t squeeze too hard - that’s one sure way to get broken ribs - but instead they just stand there, hugging, and Murdock tries to put all the love and respect he feels for this man into that hug, all the things they don’t say to each other, burying their affection in play fights and arguments.
The hug could have gone on for ever, but BA pulls back first, dark eyes suspiciously moist but a small smile on his lips. Without a word, the two men keep on getting ready for bed, and it isn’t until Murdock flicks the light off that BA speaks up.
“I needed that. Thanks, brother.”
____________________
A few weeks later and they are getting better at the whole ‘on-the-run’ thing. Face has worked on some scams to get them actual houses rather than motels, BA has a van he loves dearly, his new ‘baby’, and Hannibal’s network of contacts is starting to provide a steady stream of job opportunities. Then, one week, Face just goes quiet.
It isn’t anything obvious at first, he’s just not himself, not quite as into the team’s usual banter. Of course, being Face, direct questions don’t get any answers, and all Murdock can do is keep watch and try to understand what is affecting his best friend.
The answer leaps into his mind the next night, so blindingly obvious he could have kicked himself for not realising sooner. This coming weekend will be Face’s Official Birthday. Not his Real Birthday - no one knows that, apart from his long-vanished parents - and not his Birthday, the day that Hannibal picked out for him back when Face first joined his regiment. The Official Birthday he never celebrates, the day he was found abandoned on the steps of the orphanage. Murdock has long wanted to kick the ass of whichever nun or priest thought that was a good idea. And of course this year it must hurt twice as much as normal - he knows how his friend’s mind works, knows he thinks his parents didn’t want him, and this year the Army didn’t want him anymore either. His blood family and the family he chose both abandoned him. No wonder the Faceman went quiet.
Slipping out of bed, Murdock pads through the silent house and out to the porch at the back. Sure enough, he sees his friend sat on the steps, shoulders hunched, clearly lost in thought. This time there are no words he can say to make things easier. This time, all he can offer is himself.
Sitting next to Face, as close as he can get, he immediately wraps both arm around his friend’s body, tugging him close. Face goes willingly into his embrace, not trying to bring his own arms up but just letting Murdock hug him. So that’s what Murdock does, letting his friend rest his head in the crook of his neck as he keeps his arms locked tight around those broad shoulders, starting to rock him ever so slightly when he hears Face’s slightly ragged breathing.
Face won’t cry, not over this, not after so many years, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Murdock sits for what must be an hour, hugging his friend, offering whatever comfort Face is prepared to accept. Suddenly aware of movement, he looks up to see the familiar silhouette of Hannibal Smith in the doorway, checking on his men, and offers the colonel a soft smile over his friend’s head. Hannibal just nods before going back inside, leaving Murdock to hug his best friend, soothing the hurt inside.
______________________
The following morning, and Murdock is up early, wandering into the kitchen and pouring himself a huge mug of coffee. Without really thinking about it, he wanders back out to the porch, surprised when he sees Hannibal leaning over the rail, coffee already in hand.
“And I thought I was the early bird,” he comments quietly, leaning on the door frame as Hannibal half turns.
“Too beautiful to sleep in,” comes the reply as their colonel turns back to the view. And it is a lovely view, all mountains and forests, but that isn’t the reason Hannibal is up early.
Murdock wonders if the man ever went back to bed last night. More likely he stayed up, even after Face pulled reluctantly away from Murdock’s embrace and went back to the room he shared with Hannibal. The colonel has been worried about his lieutenant all week, although he knows not to push too hard when it comes to Face. In fact, the colonel has always worried about all of them and recently he has had a lot to worry about, Face for starters, then before that BA had been down about his Mama’s birthday. In between, Murdock knows he didn’t help matters by having a little… episode of his own. Things all went purple for a week or two, never a good thing, and while he can’t really remember much about what went on for a few days, he knows it was Hannibal who stayed with him most of the time.
Coming to a decision, Murdock pops his mug down on the window sill then crosses over behind his colonel, wrapping both arms around the taller man’s waist and pressing himself full against that long, lean body. Even with Hannibal’s battle-honed instincts, the other man jumps a little, hot coffee splashing thankfully away from the rail.
Murdock hangs on as Hannibal shifts a little in his grasp, turning a little to look over his shoulder. “Murdock? You okay?”
“Mmm hmm,” he says, pressing his nose in between strong shoulderblades. “Just ‘cause, Colonel. Just, y’know, thought you needed it.”
Murdock can feel Hannibal’s chuckle vibrate through his body, pressed close as he is. Hannibal reaches up to wrap his big hands around Murdock’s own, locked around his waist as they are, and together they just stand there, watching the sun rise over the mountains.