(no subject)
I was thinking today about breakups, and how many people almost cherish the memory of their worst breakups. I'm talking about the kind where you can't sleep, can't eat, and sometimes literally have to punch yourself in the head to stop thinking about him/her. Why do we have any nostalgia for those kinds of feelings? I think it's easy to romanticize and say, "I miss the way I used to feel things so intensely." Sometimes that tooth-grinding anguish over the end of a relationship is a kind of mask to cover up the fact that you have no idea who you are. You used to be the Person Who Was With That Other Person; without that, who are you? Of course all the usual other emotions also apply: the rejection, the loss, the simple fact that you had someone who was amazing to be around and now they are not around. I think maybe that kind of dramatic break up ends in understanding that sometimes sad, sometimes comforting fact that life is very complicated, and that other people have their own selfhood and own motivations, and that you are both actor and acted-upon all at the same time. I don't know. I wish people would stop whining about their drama filled relationships so I can stop thinking about this stuff when I'm high.