get a grip
The holidays have been a blur. They came way to fast and I honestly am unhappy with myself for not getting anyone gifts. I'm sorry to all but here is why if you would like to believe me.
I work to much. Monday, Wednesday, and Thursdays I am assigned to be in the data center to have 24x7 support there. I end up working about 9 hours since I have to wait for someone to show when my shift is over.
I have no time off for the holidays. I'm asking for one day so I can go to big bear for a weekend. Yes I work Christmas and New Years. 10pm to 7am please kill me...
My daily routine during the week from Sunday night is work at 10pm. I get home from between 6am and 8:30am depending if I am at the data center or not. I usually read before I go to sleep around 7-10am. Wake up in the late afternoon if I'm lucky and try to hang with family/friends. The usual coffee bean before work and then to work again. Weekends I try to have fun depending on if my sleep schedule allows. Sometimes I get to be active while the sun is up but usually I'm fighting my boredom at night when everyone sleeps.
As opposed to that I find myself in an almost constant state of uncertainty. I don't understand it clearly. Should I go back to school? What should my new promised work hours be? I have been doing graveyard for 2 years now. For the most part I appreciate my job. Its was like a second family until we started growing so much adding new people to the group which isn't a bad thing. The money is good. It supports my wants. I could go on complaining but I fear I have done that enough for the pass month so I'll just let it sit in the back of my mind.
Another part of this uncertainty is my current situation aside from work, family, and friends. I feel I have almost become obsessed in my mind that this is what I need. Seeing it I disregard it. Not sure what I should do. Thinking about it makes me want to embrace it and I ponder the thought of how to obtain it. My mind always composed of a simple thought that I will probably never have it. So then why do I want it so bad? Certain obstacles are placed particularly in the way. I know it is not my choice it has to want me too. Maybe I'll never find out.
I work to much. Monday, Wednesday, and Thursdays I am assigned to be in the data center to have 24x7 support there. I end up working about 9 hours since I have to wait for someone to show when my shift is over.
I have no time off for the holidays. I'm asking for one day so I can go to big bear for a weekend. Yes I work Christmas and New Years. 10pm to 7am please kill me...
My daily routine during the week from Sunday night is work at 10pm. I get home from between 6am and 8:30am depending if I am at the data center or not. I usually read before I go to sleep around 7-10am. Wake up in the late afternoon if I'm lucky and try to hang with family/friends. The usual coffee bean before work and then to work again. Weekends I try to have fun depending on if my sleep schedule allows. Sometimes I get to be active while the sun is up but usually I'm fighting my boredom at night when everyone sleeps.
As opposed to that I find myself in an almost constant state of uncertainty. I don't understand it clearly. Should I go back to school? What should my new promised work hours be? I have been doing graveyard for 2 years now. For the most part I appreciate my job. Its was like a second family until we started growing so much adding new people to the group which isn't a bad thing. The money is good. It supports my wants. I could go on complaining but I fear I have done that enough for the pass month so I'll just let it sit in the back of my mind.
Another part of this uncertainty is my current situation aside from work, family, and friends. I feel I have almost become obsessed in my mind that this is what I need. Seeing it I disregard it. Not sure what I should do. Thinking about it makes me want to embrace it and I ponder the thought of how to obtain it. My mind always composed of a simple thought that I will probably never have it. So then why do I want it so bad? Certain obstacles are placed particularly in the way. I know it is not my choice it has to want me too. Maybe I'll never find out.