Trusted Again. Crushed.
There, this will get it off of Facebook so no one cries about it.
But sorry, this is as "away" they will go - they're MY feelings and thoughts and I can SHARE them if I need to.
I wanted to curl up before the bombshell... Still do... With someone across the country, it's amazing how much you get used to being happy alone. Breaking up doesn't mean you have to suffer and be alone...being in a long-distance relationships do.
Housewives of the fifties knew the secret to staying married to the man they loved: Never let the pain show, and hide your loneliness. You'll still be lonely, but at least he'd be in the room.
It doesn't sound like love because it isn't...but only on one side. On the other...it's nature's cruel way of letting someone truly love, and punishing them for believing in it.
The Top Ten Break-Up Songs were on the radio on my way to work this morning. Hilarious.
Haven't eaten since the chips I had for lunch yesterday... Not hungry...
Sunday night all I could do was sing "All I Want For Christmas (Is You)" the whole way home... Catchy.
Reality and truth are what remain after belief and faith are gone.
Those who feel entitled to being trusted don't understand its magnitude; Those who understand that it is earned will be more careful not to take it for granted.
RiP Tom Bosley... So strange that I was just talking about Happy Days on Saturday... Ok, so everything I talked about on Saturday is dying. How nice.
Not all bad... I talked about a great person on Saturday night and he quit smoking, so there's that good news. Bad habits can die, that's ok :)
Whatever it takes... I hesitated to post this (video - What It Takes), but it being my favorite Aerosmith song and all... and the lyrics... I guess it's my way of closing the book.
Well we were both pretty effed-over by the world all the time, but we had each other to look forward to and lean on... so "you lost everything that was good in your life to a toss of the dice"... It's no exaggeration. But we both lose.
Reading tonight... Yes. That will do. Whatever keeps me from writing and makes me put the phone DOWN!! I gotta reign it in, i'm looking really pathetic :p I keep sending emotional emails, gotta knock that off...
Ashley Saint'Onge is The Girl From Yesterday...
ONE person who always has a BAD attitude and is ALWAYS rude to others... took advantage of her "friend"... and mouthed-off to people she had no business mouthing-off to... and caused a man to be suspended at his job for FiVE YEARS (so close... to retirement), a young man to pay fees of thousands of dollars, and her actions kept apart two people in love for months before one of them - ONE of them - just gave up.
And she never even accepted responsibility or admitted that she should pay the fees. Oh, the horrible things she deserves...
One bad attitude not kept in check can ruin the lives of many in ONE DAY.
And here I am, branches and branches away from her self-centered life, and I still suffer the fallout of something that has NOTHiNG TO DO with me.
Losing everything is not something that such a wretched person should have ever had the power to do. But someone let her. And now their pain is causing them to hurt the ones closest.
All I can say is, she better pray to never ever run into me again.
NO ONE has called her out on her behavior.
She may be insecure about her body/looks (she shouldn't be), but good lord, someone needs to have the guts to step forward and put her ego in check.
And I happen to have nothing left to lose.
You can be a great person and still communicate with people without having to take off your Great Person hat... No one would ever see it as a bad thing in this case. Yes, you're a great person with a good heart, but at least ask her to help.
I kept most of the Sad/Denial part to myself, but this one's the Anger part... I'm hoping acceptance is not far... Not that it matters. people just don't realize how much they mean to others sometimes.
Taking on hard things by yourself is not ever actually "the right thing to do." It feels like it sometimes, but it hurts the people who care about you more than it would if you'd let them help, and getting through the hardest times with the help of the people you love will ALWAYS only bring you closer. Pushing people away so you can concentrate on feeling bad about the crappy things that happen is the fastest way to unhappiness.
OK, got that off my chest...
Ha, I block/deleted her, she'll never see it... but it sure felt good to put it out there. I feel like if it's out in the universe, it'll help justice find her.
Then again, my feelings aren't generally good to rely on... I ranted at a woman I barely knew who took away my whole world.
You can talk yourself into disliking anything and Anyone... but it says more about You than it does the Thing or Person. Be the person who can Love, and you'll be loved... But only by someone else who Can.
"Life goes too fast to make a bad decision. Will power." - Lucas Dick
Gonna take a nice, long shower on my lunch... Maybe it'll help me snap out of Auto-Pilot today!!!!!!! C'mon, Ashley, WAKE UP!!!
Ok, i'm suuuuper angry today. Watch out. I am never making these mistakes again.
How do Horoscopes always Know??
by Ashley Saint'Onge on Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 10:50am
On Saturday: Trust is essential to a relationship, but everyone's idea of what trust is differs. Don't let your parents, friends or coworkers tell you that your relationship isn't working. You two are the ones who know the truth.
Today: Work on your ability to tell the good from the bad. Discernment will save the day.Do you want to be in a relationship with this person, or do you want to save them? Sometimes with your tender heart, the two impulses get muddled together. Use your common sense and figure out where to draw the line.
Clinging to your romantic past is a mistake, but holding onto the lessons you've learned from them is extremely important -- especially right now. Dig back through that great memory of yours.
Although you're much more attuned to the world of the practical, open your mind (and heart) to more emotional appeals as the day begins. You might be surprised. Tonight, remember your history. It's time to get out of the house. Yes, really. Have some serious fun and leave all your worries behind. As per usual, finding playmates to go along with you won't be a problem. You may need to attend to family members who've been complaining -- okay, whining -- about not seeing you, but that's the price you pay for being loved.
Around Wednesday and Thursday, you may need to consciously cultivate some self-control. Acting (or reacting) with abandon has its appeal, but you're liable to be a little off-target. Your cupidity's much more lined up around Friday and Saturday night. Whether it's your own love aims, hooking up a friend or just making the world a more beautiful place, you're on.
I’d like to say thank you to the amazing friends who have shown their support…
JOSH WiSNiEWSKi
Taylor Reese
Christina Marie Murphy Sorry to see girl. Keep your head up. Such a cliche thing to say but everyone handles differently.
Monday at 5:29pm
Preston Chapman I will agree
Monday at 5:32pm ·
Virginia Collinwood Alright. Ya see here? This is the shit of the bulls. Wear your best (sexiest) outfit tomorrow and walk around with your head high. You are amazing!
Monday at 6:58pm ·
Crystal Wong Here's something for you to think about: "Women are angels; when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that."
Monday at 8:41pm
Nicole Hanawalt I've been through a relationship like that, for almost 8 years.... its not worth it!!!! I would rather be alone and lonely than to deal with being with someone and lonely!
Monday at 6:24pm ·
Daviddavid D. David They could also take a punch...
Monday at 6:28pm ·
Virginia Collinwood Who do I have to beat up?
Monday at 6:53pm ·
Meagan Elizabeth Gipson Hmm, yes, as the profound Sheryl Crow stated (about her relationship with Lance) she was more lonely IN the relationship thatn she was by herself.
Drea Castro :-(
Yesterday at 2:25am
Meagan Elizabeth Gipson Oh sweetie.....
Yesterday at 9:53am
Sherry Filadelfia Awesome profile pic! You look so strong and determined! Like you could take on the world and KICK IT'S ASS! You go girl. Don't let anything hold you back. ♥
Yesterday at 3:12pm
Virginia Collinwood Me too. You don't want to write? Why not? Wait don't answer that... it would mean you're writing, well, typing... but Damnit.... maybe we should both shut our phones off for a few hours?
Virginia Collinwood Dude. We should definitely get off our phones. It's been one hell of a day for me too. I looked through my portfolio of drawings and it made me feel better. Maybe try to find something random that makes you happy? If only for a moment or two.
Crystal Marie Radcliffe I love you! You are a wonderful person, don't you ever forget that!
Jorge Cruz Wow.. keep it going Ashley..
5 hours ago ·
Christina Marie Murphy Good luck!
5 hours ago ·
Sherry Filadelfia Now that you've pointed out her faults, do you think she will realize it is her that you're talking to?
Dan Houston hope that improves for ya...angry rants are nowhere near as funny as lucid wackiness...
about an hour ago
I also want to let a few friends know that even though they had little to say, and probably don’t even really KNOW what happened, they had a lot to offer in the way of support and love, and I am so appreciative…
Tina Ward
Kerri McCarthy
Momma McCarthy
Hillary Santagata
Andy Dick
Lucas Dick
Carly Wilken
Christy Gilette
Ramon Rodriguez
Kevin Ford
Price Vernon
Thaddeus Challis
Joy Resella
Ceci Noire
Angelica Alexander
Jennifer Duncan Alimo
Richard Watts
Brandon Bellm
Meta Jo Perviance
Meg Bryant
Amber Reeder
Ashley St. Onge (no, not me)
Dmitri Preston Lazarev
Al Chavez
Johnny Lucas
Dan Houston
Leslie-Anne Hoxie
Mark Vallejo
Terrell Cypert
Crystal Ivey
I am lucky to have so many friends who care, even though I have lost a very important one who must not have.