IMbalanced much?!
They say that bad things happen so that good things can happen and balance things out. But some people have LOTS of good things, and (many others and) I keep having LOTS of bad things, and if there's ever going to be any kind of balance, those people will lose everything and my life won't be such a freakin STRUGGLE anymore.
Here's a summary:
- Dec 16th, a bad break-up. Necessary, but difficult.
- Dec 26th, my dear friend Mario Santa Cruz passed away, age 26.
+ January - April, friends open their homes to me and a few even offer me extended stays to reduce my couch-surfing.
- February 8th, the family cat dies, AND my dad tells me he left his SECOND wife for yet ANOTHER woman.
- March 16th, car problems. Missed some work.
+ March 25th and 28th, Agency showcase with Dylan, and the Spec commercial with Drea!
+ April 3rd, Forbidden Zone with Tara!!
+ April 8th, shot a promo video to support an acting school that has helped me SO much.
- April 11th, attended the memorial of one of my strongest mentors, Margie Lambie. Hard, hard day.
+ April 17th and 18th, modeling event for Free People, and substituted for an acting teacher friend :)
+ April 28th, Shot and submitted my entry for the Jon Lovitz "Find Me A Comic!" Contest!
- April 29th, MET MY HERO, Carol Burnett (and she BARELY LOOKED at me, whcih was just awful).
+ May 15th, took my first S Factor class!!
- May 17th, car won't start, Missed more work. This is starting to be like the Life board game.
+ May 31st, gifted a Disneyland Annual Pass from fellow Disney freak Jon!!!! Holy crap!!!|
+- May 1st, Took my brother to the "Killers' premiere, only to be turned away at the theatre door for capacity reasons. We had fun at a nearby karaooke/pool bar anyway!
- May 4th - 8th, Mourned the loss of dear friend 24 year-old Alex Ramirez at Disneyland and at the memorial service. Crushing. But was with GREAT FRiENDS through the hardest sadness...
+ May 11th, The snowball begins...
- June 10th, one of my favorite teachers of all time tells me he has had surgery to remove cancerous tumors and is beginning chemotherapy soon. Please make it stop.
+ June 11th - NOW, Pauly Fernandez blows into town and shakes things up! We met the voice of Roger Rabbit and spent hours laughing with a waterslide and saw a Muay Thai fight and two comedy shows, and we still have a week left before he goes back to Canada! Distractions and kindness and appreciation are SO underrated.
So, there are lots of great things that have happened, but losing friends is SO HARD, and there are SO MANY...
Also, I lost a few friends for STUPID things, like Charlene cutting out my whole family because she dated my brother, or any of the friends I spent any time with from 2007-2010. Or guy friends who decided I wasn't worth hanging out with if I wasn't planning to be their sex toy. Call it "noble" if you want, but I call it shallow and pointless. Yes, it saves me the time of finding out that they're worthless bags of crap LATER, but still, a lot of people are really just complete and selfish morons.
And my brother was kind of MAKiNG me stay with him for a while, until yesterday when he kicked me out because I was going to loan him money and he didn't like the off-ramp I chose for him to meet me by. Idiot.
My writing has gotten stronger and stronger this year, though. If I stop telling myself that things will balance out, and that my negative cashflow will flip soon so I can have my own place again and shoot the videos I love writing so much... Man, I don't know what I'd have left. All I can really do is try to make things get better than this.
Thank gawd for the few great friends and the constant creativity I'm surrounded by.