i have been thinking a lot lately. i've come to these conclusions. do i make things difficult for myself purposely or do i do it subconsciously ? i do it consciously. and i think i like it. it has made me learn so many things a lot quicker and made me be able to deal with things so much easier. do i shun the world b/c i don't care or am i scared. i am so scared that someone might actually want to be with me and make me happy and subconsciously i want that but i just push them away. kayla you can be happy. people around you want you to have happiness. its not that hard. take it.