Foreign Affairs

[my_weary_mind]

Funny story...I belong to this community from a previous LDR that was eventually a "success." We moved in together, got married, and I entered 2015 a divorced young woman. Everyone hears that you're divorced and the default response seems to be, "I'm so sorry." I reply, "No, you don't understand. The correct response is congratulations." I

Comments

[purpletigress]

There's nothing wrong with things making no sense. My husband of eight and a half years was in the US and I was here in Australia. It sucked, especially since we were doing this in the days long before high-speed internet and quality webcams!

I reckon you just have to go with your gut and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I broke it off with my guy at one point because I got an attack of the realities. It stuck for a week. I realised that being with him yet without him was preferrable to losing what we had.

The thing is though, it can't stay as it is forever without making you miserable. If you fall, you fall. You can't not visit in case of that, and if he really put his foot down I'd take that as a sign that maybe he was hiding something. I'd organise a visit. We actually did three visits over the course of a couple of years, the third of which I was giving him all the paperwork I'd needed to collect on my end to bring him over to Oz.

That sort of distance sucks, there's no way around it. But if you fall in love and one of you is willing to move, it can be wonderful. My husband has fallen in love not just with me, but with my country. After so many years he considers himself an Aussie, which is more than I could have hoped for. So it's early days with you, but I'm an optimist who believes in following her heart. It might not make sense, but it might just work. Good luck!

[my_weary_mind]

Thanks! I really did need to hear that there are other people who went through this too. I feel so crazy for falling for a guy I haven't met in person yet.

And oh my gosh. I don't know how you did that! Physical contact is sooo important to me. I'm a touchy feely person. So no having the ability to eve see the person via skype? Oof. But you got you're happy ending, though. And you have a great story :)

[purpletigress]

I think people underestimate how close you can get online. But when all you've got is communication, I think it totally makes sense.

You know, it's funny but I don't know how we did it either. I now get all teary whenever my husband has to go on a business trip, and that's for so much less time than we were apart before. It's funny how your perspective changes! :-) Glad I could give you some hope. Make sure to post in here how things go!