[You look better when out of sight...]
She sits in the crowded room. It’s filled with awkward glances from strangers with familiar faces. She wishes she could burn big holes in their icy hearts with her glare. But she can’t….. They don’t understand her, they just assume they do. They don’t have any idea what goes on in her life outside of this brick building they call school. She likes to call it hell cause that’s what it’s like. They use this place as a social gathering, a place to show off the awesome new bag that matches the shoes. Those shoes you just HAVE to have if you wanna be cool. Yeah, those. She uses this place as a means of education before she goes to college for what she is really passionate about… music. What gets her through each day. She hates being stuck in this place more than anything. This place where she isn’t allowed to be herself. She’s not allowed to do the things she wants. No one understands her. No one understands her art. Her love. Her music. Her passion. If she wears the things she wants she’ll be labeled. Labeled gothic, freak, or a whore. She sits and admires them. She doesn’t admire their manicured nails, their flawless hair or their perfectly painted lips. No, she admires their ability to mask it all. Their ability to hide all their pain, push it so far down even they begin to believe it isn’t there. But it is, it always will be. They act as if they were so above everyone else. The only way to feel better about themselves is to judge and be cruel to the people who may be different. People who are still happy with themselves, even if they aren’t the epitome of perfection everyday. How do they mask the pain so well? An alcoholic mother. A father that hits her. How can she act like nothing’s wrong when everything is? …..She breaks down. She finally lets it all out. Black tears stream down her pale face. Pale from the lack of sleep. She won’t sleep anymore for the fear of dreaming. In dreams the truth is revealed. It all comes out. The memories of her past, the fading hope of her future. No one knows it, but she’s crazy……