Mar 27, 2005 17:59
they didn't know that she was planning something. most people thought she was perfectly fine. she was good at pretending...but some people knew she wasnt okay but they didnt realize how bad it was. she would party every weekend. she was border line alcoholic rarely going 48 hours w/o being 100% sober. she tried finding comfort in anything even if that ment fucking some guy she just met one night while she had been drinking. everyday was going by as a blur. they didn't know that she cried herself to sleep every night. they didnt know that she had practiced cutting herself so many times. they didnt know that she had written and rewritten letters to all the people she cared about most telling them she loved them and apologizing. she even wrote one to the person who was most important to her, who wouldnt understand what had happened bcuz she was to young. she wanted her to know it wasnt her fault and she loved her dearly. they just didnt know. they found her surrounded...in her own blood. they finally knew... they finally realized that she really wasnt okay and the rumors, and the fake friends, and the guys who liked her for all the wrong reasons, and the family, and the lies, and the unperfect body that she saw that everyone else thought was close to perfect, had gotten to her. she finally had the courage to press down hard enough...and they finally knew that she planned this.